Eating Disorders

[dgirl1986]

I was just wondering how many people suffer from an eating disorder here (who feel comfortable talking about it).

I was also wondering if people think that information/knowledge/support on Eating Disorders that result in weight gain are lacking.

 

[Monotheist 101]

I was just wondering how many people suffer from an eating disorder here (who feel comfortable talking about it).

I was also wondering if people think that information/knowledge/support on Eating Disorders that result in weight gain are lacking.

I suffer from insomnia, which messes with my appetite.. It's not the type of disorder where I dont eat at all, but rather eat very little and at odd times..

EDIT: I have been constantly losing wait for the past few years, My waist was 36 now is close to 31..

EDIT:

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I was just wondering how many people suffer from an eating disorder here (who feel comfortable talking about it).

Anorexia nervosa. I have a severely skewed body image, so I just trust what husband says about my weight instead of relying on how I view myself. I feel much better nowadays than I have in the past. Though every now and then I revert back to not eating for a day or two before I remind myself that I need to eat.

I was also wondering if people think that information/knowledge/support on Eating Disorders that result in weight gain are lacking.

I think so. I've never found a program or therapist that could fully address my disorder. I love food. Don't get me wrong. But I don't seem to have that natural inclination that most people have much of the time that when one is hungry, one wants to eat. I never understand stress-eating, since when I'm stressed, the last thing I want to do is eat.

Lately, with the business, I am away from home for much of the day into the night. I don't have a microwave or fridge at the business yet, so I have to time myself to schedule a dinner somewhere. Otherwise, if I don't schedule it, I wind up not eating and feel whimsically good about not eating for such a long time.

I've preferred not to eat for practically as long as I can remember. I have my moments every now and then when I choose to eat because I'm hungry. But for the most part, I have to have somebody babysit me to sit down and eat some food. Every day, husband texts me asking me when the last time it was that I ate.

Let me know what you'd like to talk about. I'll do my best with the subject. A lot of it is just instinct, though, but I know not eating for a long time is a risk for my health.

 

[dgirl1986]

Anorexia nervosa. I have a severely skewed body image, so I just trust what husband says about my weight instead of relying on how I view myself. I feel much better nowadays than I have in the past. Though every now and then I revert back to not eating for a day or two before I remind myself that I need to eat.

Thanks heaps for sharing

If you dont mind me asking, how did you reach the point of saying to yourself this needs to change?

I think so. I've never found a program or therapist that could fully address my disorder. I love food. Don't get me wrong. But I don't seem to have that natural inclination that most people have much of the time that when one is hungry, one wants to eat. I never understand stress-eating, since when I'm stressed, the last thing I want to do is eat.

Lately, with the business, I am away from home for much of the day into the night. I don't have a microwave or fridge at the business yet, so I have to time myself to schedule a dinner somewhere. Otherwise, if I don't schedule it, I wind up not eating and feel whimsically good about not eating for such a long time.

I've preferred not to eat for practically as long as I can remember. I have my moments every now and then when I choose to eat because I'm hungry. But for the most part, I have to have somebody babysit me to sit down and eat some food. Every day, husband texts me asking me when the last time it was that I ate.

Let me know what you'd like to talk about. I'll do my best with the subject. A lot of it is just instinct, though, but I know not eating for a long time is a risk for my health.

I find that when I am stressed I just eat as much as I possibly can of the worst foods possible and at such a ridiculously fast rate. I basically eat to the point of almost needing to vomit. Last night was the first time I actually wanted to make myself vomit after a binge.

In school they showed us a lot about anorexia but said absolutely nothing about binge eating/compulsive eating or bulemia. So in my mind I always thought hey if I am eating then that means I do not have an eating disorder which is evidently is not the case.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Thanks heaps for sharing

If you dont mind me asking, how did you reach the point of saying to yourself this needs to change?

I think I was 12, and when my father was looking after me when I was missing more than 3 weeks of school, I was vomiting blood into a bucket he was holding. I had already been in and out of the hospital for being ill most of the time as a kid, but something clicked in my head saying that if I hadn't eaten for a couple of weeks that I was wasting away.

It really was bad when I walked into school after I got out of the hospital, and even though I had gotten some food down, I heard other kids whisper, "Oh my god, she's so skinny"...and the teacher quickly shushing them to be quiet. It was apparent to everybody else that I was dangerously thin. I was mortified, and thought if they see it, good lord, what was I doing to myself?

Thus began the family's search for a physician and a counselor. Never found one that addressed what was going on in my head, nor gave me an adequate program to follow independently.

I find that when I am stressed I just eat as much as I possibly can of the worst foods possible and at such a ridiculously fast rate. I basically eat to the point of almost needing to vomit. Last night was the first time I actually wanted to make myself vomit after a binge.

That's so sad.

What are your thoughts on wanting to purge? If this is the first time, is there something that has happened lately that is out of the ordinary? You don't have to share or even answer it. I'm only offering this to contemplate on.

In school they showed us a lot about anorexia but said absolutely nothing about binge eating/compulsive eating or bulemia. So in my mind I always thought hey if I am eating then that means I do not have an eating disorder which is evidently is not the case.

We had both ends of the spectrum offered, though I can't exactly agree with some of the motivations. I wanted to look good in a leotard, so it only fed the disorder, but I was already not eating since I was a kid, and it had nothing to do with my appearance. I only knew the idea of eating made me feel sick.

Thank goodness for google nowadays. Hoping that will help you gather some information. I'm still looking for a good program, btw.

 

[dgirl1986]

I think I was 12, and when my father was looking after me when I was missing more than 3 weeks of school, I was vomiting blood into a bucket he was holding. I had already been in and out of the hospital for being ill most of the time as a kid, but something clicked in my head saying that if I hadn't eaten for a couple of weeks that I was wasting away.

It really was bad when I walked into school after I got out of the hospital, and even though I had gotten some food down, I heard other kids whisper, "Oh my god, she's so skinny"...and the teacher quickly shushing them to be quiet. It was apparent to everybody else that I was dangerously thin. I was mortified, and thought if they see it, good lord, what was I doing to myself?

Thus began the family's search for a physician and a counselor. Never found one that addressed what was going on in my head, nor gave me an adequate program to follow independently.

Such a young age to be going through something so serious. I am glad that you were able to recognise the risk to your health through. I imagine it wouldve been quite the struggle.

I confess I am not too familiar with current programs and that relating to anorexia specifically.

That's so sad.

What are your thoughts on wanting to purge? If this is the first time, is there something that has happened lately that is out of the ordinary? You don't have to share or even answer it. I'm only offering this to contemplate on.

Well part of it was about oh my god I feel absolutely terrible and want this sick feeling to go away, the other part was thinking about how many calories I just consumed and if I puked it wouldnt get digested and added to my already ridiculous weight.

I have a quite a bit going on with just coming to the realisation of the real situation with my food issues, parents splitting, parents relying on me for emotional support without realising it, work issues, trying to lose weight and failing epically, relationship pressures etc.

Thank goodness for google nowadays. Hoping that will help you gather some information. I'm still looking for a good program, btw.

I always research the crud out of everything which was how I came to the realisation that my food issues were more than me just being a lazy sod that ate too much. Podcasts ftw lol.

 

[Maija]

ED, anorexia started at 13 and was its worst at 24, living by myself was not working out. I didn't know how to grocery shop or make decisions for meals so I postponed meals/decisions, fearing I'd make the wrong choice and have regret and anxiety.

I was also taking things that I shouldn't, so literally it would be 2 days and I'd remember, shoot- I haven't eaten but yet I've been working out and it was bad.

Rock bottom, not being able to stand, having such low BP. Being in the ER during finals, having to move back home..almost having to do an in patient program. There were a few.

I still struggle with poor body image, being obsessed with the scale but I make better decisions. I eat a high raw diet which works for me, I am comfortable eating 2 raw meals a day with a vegan dinner (ive been veg since 12).

 

[MysticSang'ha]

ED, anorexia started at 13 and was its worst at 24, living by myself was not working out. I didn't know how to grocery shop or make decisions for meals so I postponed meals/decisions, fearing I'd make the wrong choice and have regret and anxiety.

I was also taking things that I shouldn't, so literally it would be 2 days and I'd remember, shoot- I haven't eaten but yet I've been working out and it was bad.

I hear you. The thing that people who don't live with this disorder don't understand is that food and eating, and the act of digesting itself, is emotionally perceived as an enemy. For you and I, it's like our brains are saying "Don't consume, and don't digest." So many times anorexics prefer to self-medicate in other ways. Diet soda and cigarettes are a staple, I remember, for many in the dance community. I used to carry a banana in my bag to dance classes, spend all day at the studio training, sweating, and practicing, and eating that single banana and being more than satisfied that it was more than enough. One banana, for the whole day. In my opinion at the time, I was able to live with poverty AND to be able to look right in a leotard and costume AND to support my disordered mind-body connection.

For me, what helped has been turning food and dining into a science. I prefer to take emotion out of it and utilize all the resources for food preparation from a rational POV. Thank goodness for the Food Network back in the '90s. When I was still searching for a program to help, I found myself following what the cooks did on the network, almost identically. Coincidentally, that was also when I was a new mother with two young babies attached to me 24/7, and I ate just to give them nutrition through breastfeeding.

It helped establish a pattern, and one that when I don't follow, leads me back to a default status of non-eating human.

Rock bottom, not being able to stand, having such low BP. Being in the ER during finals, having to move back home..almost having to do an in patient program. There were a few.

Yes. Again, I hear ya. The light-headedness in many ways was like a drug for me. Didn't matter that huge clumps of hair was falling out from time to time and I saw my fingernails practically fall out by themselves. I saw myself as being highly self-disciplined and in control of my body, and I saw myself as looking good on stage and in dance class. The health risks were worth it as far as I was concerned.

I still struggle with poor body image, being obsessed with the scale but I make better decisions. I eat a high raw diet which works for me, I am comfortable eating 2 raw meals a day with a vegan dinner (ive been veg since 12).

I don't use the scale anymore. I was weighing myself twice a day obsessed with my morning weight and nighttime weight, and determining what factors led me to weigh less in the morning or night, and tried to maximize those factors as much as possible. Nowadays I am extremely aware - hyper-aware even - of my obsession with the number. My doctors have always recommended me to be at a normal weight and blood pressure, of course. And every time I see the doctor I am aware of my emotions when I see a number on the scale when they weigh me. If I'm underweight according to the charts, I am aware of how emotionally satisfied I am, though rationally it's a sign that I'm undernourished, which is confirmed by the doctor.

Good luck with your eating program, Maija. I was unable to stick with going raw for more than a month or two. But I was vegan for two years. There are a lot more great recipes available for vegans than I was practicing it.

 

[Maija]

I hear you. The thing that people who don't live with this disorder don't understand is that food and eating, and the act of digesting itself, is emotionally perceived as an enemy. For you and I, it's like our brains are saying "Don't consume, and don't digest." So many times anorexics prefer to self-medicate in other ways. Diet soda and cigarettes are a staple, I remember, for many in the dance community. I used to carry a banana in my bag to dance classes, spend all day at the studio training, sweating, and practicing, and eating that single banana and being more than satisfied that it was more than enough. One banana, for the whole day. In my opinion at the time, I was able to live with poverty AND to be able to look right in a leotard and costume AND to support my disordered mind-body connection.

For me, what helped has been turning food and dining into a science. I prefer to take emotion out of it and utilize all the resources for food preparation from a rational POV. Thank goodness for the Food Network back in the '90s. When I was still searching for a program to help, I found myself following what the cooks did on the network, almost identically. Coincidentally, that was also when I was a new mother with two young babies attached to me 24/7, and I ate just to give them nutrition through breastfeeding.

It helped establish a pattern, and one that when I don't follow, leads me back to a default status of non-eating human.



Yes. Again, I hear ya. The light-headedness in many ways was like a drug for me. Didn't matter that huge clumps of hair was falling out from time to time and I saw my fingernails practically fall out by themselves. I saw myself as being highly self-disciplined and in control of my body, and I saw myself as looking good on stage and in dance class. The health risks were worth it as far as I was concerned.



I don't use the scale anymore. I was weighing myself twice a day obsessed with my morning weight and nighttime weight, and determining what factors led me to weigh less in the morning or night, and tried to maximize those factors as much as possible. Nowadays I am extremely aware - hyper-aware even - of my obsession with the number. My doctors have always recommended me to be at a normal weight and blood pressure, of course. And every time I see the doctor I am aware of my emotions when I see a number on the scale when they weigh me. If I'm underweight according to the charts, I am aware of how emotionally satisfied I am, though rationally it's a sign that I'm undernourished, which is confirmed by the doctor.

Good luck with your eating program, Maija. I was unable to stick with going raw for more than a month or two. But I was vegan for two years. There are a lot more great recipes available for vegans than I was practicing it.

We have a lot in common, i was first a gymnast and then a dancer.
Like you, having a kid and nursing put me at a more normal weight.

For me and i read this in the book, "wasted" by marya hornbacher and it hit home. if i could contain myself from spilling out over my jeans and from the skeleton or cage from which it sits, then i could contain my self from spilling out.

althought im healthier now, my libido is gone- i dont want to be unclothed i feel all is bare and im left exposed. ugh


will edit and reply more when not at work

 

[MysticSang'ha]

We have a lot in common, i was first a gymnast and then a dancer.
Like you, having a kid and nursing put me at a more normal weight.

For me and i read this in the book, "wasted" by marya hornbacher and it hit home. if i could contain myself from spilling out over my jeans and from the skeleton or cage from which it sits, then i could contain my self from spilling out.

althought im healthier now, my libido is gone- i dont want to be unclothed i feel all is bare and im left exposed. ugh


will edit and reply more when not at work

I just took a peek into the book you mentioned....yikes. Trigger warnings going off in my head. I'm forcing myself to eat a taco salad right now in response.

 

[Sand Dancer]

I dealt with some slight bulimic issues in the 80's. I'm fine now.

 

[Aquitaine]

Do ya'll think Eating Disorders primarily affect women? I rarely hear men discussing it.

If so, I wonder why?

 

[Maija]

I just took a peek into the book you mentioned....yikes. Trigger warnings going off in my head. I'm forcing myself to eat a taco salad right now in response.

i am so sorry, i should have known you would check it out, eek!

that books filled with numbers and reminders of the ED. as much as it made me worse, it also reminded me of a million reasons not to go down that path.

read when youre recoverED completely

 

[MysticSang'ha]

i am so sorry, i should have known you would check it out, eek!

that books filled with numbers and reminders of the ED. as much as it made me worse, it also reminded me of a million reasons not to go down that path.

read when youre recoverED completely

Thanks!! It's good to have memoirs out by survivors of anorexia nervosa and bulimia to show what it's like, the daily obsessions, etc.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I dealt with some slight bulimic issues in the 80's. I'm fine now.

Good to hear! :yes:

How did you recover?

Do ya'll think Eating Disorders primarily affect women? I rarely hear men discussing it.

If so, I wonder why?

There are many theories as to why, but you are correct in not just the perception that women are more likely to suffer from an eating disorder, but the statistics match the public perception (80-95% of those with an eating disorder are women).

When it comes to the theories as to why it is so pervasive in culture, many stem from public pressure for women to maintain a very specific and narrow weight and appearance. Men are becoming more and more self-conscience about weight and appearance, but eating disorders among men are more prevalent in sports that demand strict weight ranges....jockeys in horse racing and wrestlers are notorious for perpetuating the disorder due to the demands from their environments. One documentary I saw on horse racing showed a typical bathroom for jockeys, and one stall had a toilet that was specifically designed to accommodate vomiting. It was square-shaped with handlebars on the sides.

 

[Revoltingest]

When it comes to the theories as to why it is so pervasive in culture, many stem from public pressure for women to maintain a very specific and narrow weight and appearance. Men are becoming more and more self-conscience about weight and appearance, but eating disorders among men are more prevalent in sports that demand strict weight ranges....jockeys in horse racing and wrestlers are notorious for perpetuating the disorder due to the demands from their environments. One documentary I saw on horse racing showed a typical bathroom for jockeys, and one stall had a toilet that was specifically designed to accommodate vomiting. It was square-shaped with handlebars on the sides.

Products & facilities designed for abusing oneself physically?
Criminy! Humans are a mess.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Products & facilities designed for abusing oneself physically?
Criminy! Humans are a mess.

Tell me about it! What was sad was the jockeys who were interviewed for the documentary had a mentality that was very similar to dancers, models, and gymnasts who I'd known who were living with eating disorders. It's seen as a part of life. An unfortunate part of life, but part of life nonetheless. That is, if they want to keep their job in good standing or to be competitive.

 

[Revoltingest]

Tell me about it! What was sad was the jockeys who were interviewed for the documentary had a mentality that was very similar to dancers, models, and gymnasts who I'd known who were living with eating disorders. It's seen as a part of life. An unfortunate part of life, but part of life nonetheless. That is, if they want to keep their job in good standing or to be competitive.

I've proposed (but only to insignificant people within earshot) that wrestlers be in a weight class which reflects 6 months of prior weight. This way, they'd not be tempted to lose weight by unhealthy last minute methods, & they'd wrestle at their training weight. This would be just as competitive, but healthier.

 

[Aquitaine]

Good to hear! :yes:

How did you recover?



There are many theories as to why, but you are correct in not just the perception that women are more likely to suffer from an eating disorder, but the statistics match the public perception (80-95% of those with an eating disorder are women).

When it comes to the theories as to why it is so pervasive in culture, many stem from public pressure for women to maintain a very specific and narrow weight and appearance. Men are becoming more and more self-conscience about weight and appearance, but eating disorders among men are more prevalent in sports that demand strict weight ranges....jockeys in horse racing and wrestlers are notorious for perpetuating the disorder due to the demands from their environments. One documentary I saw on horse racing showed a typical bathroom for jockeys, and one stall had a toilet that was specifically designed to accommodate vomiting. It was square-shaped with handlebars on the sides.

What!? That's ****ed up.

I suppose it becomes more blurry when economics are involved, as people will do so many weird things in order to make money/maintain an income.

But vomiting stalls? Jesus....

 

[Maija]

Horse racing's dirty little secret

This article says it all.

Its incredibly sad.