Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Why do people fall in love? What is falling in love, and what makes people do it? Do we have any control over who we fall in love with?
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Falling in Love
- Thread starter Kilgore Trout
- Start date
Vendetta
"Oscar the grouch"
Al Pacino in the movie "The Devil's Advocate" once said:
"Love is biochemically no different, than eating large quantities of chocolate."
Love to me is an abstract concept of the chemical fluxations we describe as "feelings of sublime emotional attachment."
Why people fall in love is unknown since everyone's reasons are different. Some fall in love because they see a material benefit e.g. "gold digger" some fall in love because they are arranged in a situation and therefore psychologically convince themselves that the individual "is the one," or some sincerely feel as if they are really in love.
"Love is biochemically no different, than eating large quantities of chocolate."
Love to me is an abstract concept of the chemical fluxations we describe as "feelings of sublime emotional attachment."
Why people fall in love is unknown since everyone's reasons are different. Some fall in love because they see a material benefit e.g. "gold digger" some fall in love because they are arranged in a situation and therefore psychologically convince themselves that the individual "is the one," or some sincerely feel as if they are really in love.
All the physical feelings associated with romantic love can be attributed to neurochemicals, such as dopamine and PEA. But the processes that cause those particular neurochemicals to be dumped into the bloodstream when one sees, or even when one just thinks about, one's beloved appear to be a much more complex series of processes, involving many feedback loops, than the relatively straightforward manner in which, say, PEA causes feelings of giddiness during the romantic love phase of relationships.
methylatedghosts
Can't brain. Has dumb.
Smell is very powerful.
If you want to attract a someone, find out what perfume/aftershave or w/e that the person's parents wore, and wear one. To that someone, it will bring a sense of familiarity (and hopefully, love, if they grew up in a loving household
) whenever they're around you - though they may not know exactly why. Wording there isn't 100% but I hope my drift is caught
Noaidi
slow walker
At its basic biological level, love enhances pair-bonding, allowing offspring to be raised by 2 parents. This improves their survival chances.
I think of falling in love with the way someone makes you feel as infatuation. And even if it lasts 50 years, it's still infatuation in my book.
I've considered this too. It may be what kicks off the relationship, but in order to last decades, something else must take over.
(This is, of course, assuming the relationship is a healthy one, and not abusive or inauthentic in any way.)
It seems to me there are too many things lumped together as just one thing -- love. For instance, there seems to be a set of feelings and perceptions that sometimes begin within moments of meeting someone and which typically last only a matter of hours or days. Those feelings and perceptions are characterized by acceptance and affirmation of the other person; by a lack of condemning, or perhaps even criticizing, anything about the other person; by delight in the other person; by a lack of emotional dependency on the other person; and so forth. The feelings and perceptions are somewhat similar to a few of the feelings and perceptions of romantic love, but they are still distinct from romantic love -- which can, for instance, include immense emotional dependency. At any rate, that initial hours to days long type of love is probably the closest that most people ever get in their lives to agape. But the same word in English is used to label it as is used to label every other of the twenty or so different kinds of love.
Noaidi
slow walker
Good way of putting it.
Does this mean, then, that being in love is basically a selfish state ie. we're in it to make ourselves feel good? Is that why we crave it?
*nods* I agree. "Love" as I know it seems to come in various forms or degrees.
Perhaps initially. The adoration and flattery in the beginning of courtship feels fantastic.Noaidi said:
I think it's also fair to say that, even in long-term relationships, certain needs must be met for the relationship to continue. One could say that is, to some extent, selfish. However, I believe there are long-term relationships that start to evolve into a more selfless, less selfish experience.
chinu
chinu
Because we all are part of "Love", and we always want that we should "Love" somebody or something.
And we also want that something or somebody should love us.
Falling in "Love" means, Once falled, we are helpless to come out.
That's why it is being said that "Falling in love" insted of "Going in love",
Means once falled, there's no any way out.
The soul inside our body is Drop of "Sea of Love" or "God",
That's why we are always forced to love anything or anybody, everytime.
Truely we all are helpless to love anything or anybody, everytime.
No,
Love has control on us, we can never control "Love"
That's why it is being said that "Love" or "God" is greater than everything or everybody.
At the end:
"God is love"
"Love is God"
_/\_
Chinu
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Because it's biologically useful.
Complex electro-chemical brain states, and the process for initiating them is complex.
The way I view it is, we can have control over developing and improving our self, and the state our self will determine what types of people we are prone to falling in love with, if anyone.
I agree with that in the strictest sense, since both chocolate and love result in giving us the feeling based on chemistry. But people who have both fallen in love and eaten large amounts of chocolate know that these are not really subjectively comparable in magnitude at all. People typically don't remember 40 years later the first time they ate tons of chocolate, but they remember the first time they laid eyes on their sweetheart.
I agree that the word love is extremely broad. It includes multiple very different definitions.
In the broadest sense, it can be said that people pursue what they perceive to be good. Even altruistic actions such as helping other people for no material gain can result in a happy feeling. If, instead, people got a horrible feeling every time they helped someone, would they continue doing it?
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Your lack of input is always appreciated.
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
And as always, shut up.
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Well, there's one person I won't be falling in love with.
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Lies. Quagmire does not have a cute butt.