Where Is God
Creator
Wow. Girl of my dreams (kinda) just told me she liked me but wouldn't go out with me because I am an atheist. I have never even talked to her about this what the hell... Ugh
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Falling in Love
- Thread starter Kilgore Trout
- Start date
She probably wasn't the girl of your dreams, then.
Where Is God
Creator
That is why I said kinda... So upsetting
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Where Is God
Creator
You know very well you could have sworn for God you are not an atheist.
I don't pretend to be something I'm not.
Perhaps it was the way you were stomping on kittens while she said it.
Where Is God
Creator
But I love kittens..........
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Is there a bad way to stomp on kittens?
Koldo
Outstanding Member
I think a lot of us look for rational reasons we are in love with someone. For instance, we might say, "I love him because he's kind, intelligent, and has a great sense of humor." And it does seem quite possible to me that we often enough fall in love with someone because of their qualities. But I don't know of anyone who has actually fallen in love with someone by first reasoning out what they should or ought to fall in love with some for.
Moreover, thinking about why we are in love with someone must be done lightly, for it seems that too much analysis of why we love someone has the potential of suppressing or destroying our love for them. It's kind of like the folly of dissecting the golden goose to see where the eggs come from. The analysis (i.e. the dissection) kills the goose.
Moreover, thinking about why we are in love with someone must be done lightly, for it seems that too much analysis of why we love someone has the potential of suppressing or destroying our love for them. It's kind of like the folly of dissecting the golden goose to see where the eggs come from. The analysis (i.e. the dissection) kills the goose.
The reasoning out is skipped, because our psychology is developed to quickly and subconsciously assess those things for us.
As I mentioned earlier, we may not have direct control over who we fall in love with, but we can control and develop our traits and the state of our character, which plays a big part in what we find attractive.
I don't think it's likely to result in a bad outcome if the person that is loved is truly worthwhile.
Understanding the science and psychology behind love is interesting, in my view.
Where Is God
Creator
Koldo
Outstanding Member
I am afraid this sentence does not make too much sense to me. Seems like something is wrong. What is it? I wonder.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Erm...Okay.
So you didn't really understand the joke.
It is ok....happens. Nevermind it.
There's a typo. I meant,
"As I mentioned earlier, we may not have direct control over who we fall in love with, but we can control and develop our traits and the state of our character, which plays a big part in what we find attractive."
I said it correctly the first time, but when I re-said it, I made this typo.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Ah, now it makes sense. Thanks.
I am interested, can we take a direct and conscious control over the development of our traits and state of character? Also, has there been any research that connects a given set of traits to the likelihood of falling in love with a specific kind of person?
Sure, we can practice ethics much like we can practice physical activity, and develop a natural improvement. We can use reason to allow us to figure out what sorts of things we need to practice and improve about ourselves.Ah, now it makes sense. Thanks.
I am interested, can we take a direct and conscious control over the development of our traits and state of character?
Not sure.
But I can pretty much guarantee I'm not going to fall in love with a malevolent chain-smoking alcoholic with bad social skills and an IQ of 80. There's definitely a set of types that I could potentially feel attraction for.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Oh, but i meant a more delicated and specific control over such traits. The kind of method you are talking about is well known to me but it still seems quite crude and rough.
It would surely be interesting if science could figure this out.
From your example, i would make the educated guess there is actually more to it than simply traits. You see, as we live we are taught many things. It would not surprise me the least if you were unable to feel attracted to this kind of person due to "barrages" that were built on your mind ever since your childhood. I don't mean to say that such "barrages" are bad things though.
