Fear of Death?

[The Sum of Awe]

I wouldn't say I'm afraid of death, but I am afraid of the many things that come with death: devastation from loved ones, losing a future, the meanings I apply to my life will abruptly disappear, etc.

I already know that (assuming there is no afterlife) I wont even notice those things and they wouldn't be a problem. But I don't think unawareness of these problems are enough to cut it.

Already I have accepted that it is my fate, it will happen, and stressing over it does not help. I remind myself that thinking of these things makes me live it more often than I have to. But I've tried and tried and these thoughts can't escape my head. At least once a day will my mind trail off on this topic, imagining the scenario. I occasionally will be talking to someone when suddenly I imagine it in my head that they will someday be in the dirt.

It's not so much scary as it is ...odd for the lack of a better word.

Just clicks in. The most common imagination in this train of thought is imagining myself dying and my loved ones crying, or the other way around. At some point in time it will happen, one or the other, when both are terribly depressing.

When I die, my corpse no longer serves a purpose as a body, but instead serves a purpose of food for insects. It is returning to nature, escaping the illusion of being separate from it. Everything in reality is recycled. I'm inclined to believe this universe is actually a conscious being itself, and becoming one with it again feels divine, but it's a little ironic because in my life I am trying to break the umbilical cord.

Moving on - For some reason my mind can't get over this thought. I understand it's inevitable, but I not only know that it will happen to me eventually that sometime I will experience dying and then stop being. But I also FEEL that in my thoughts, I can feel the tragedy.


Is there truly a way to get over these thoughts? Not only acknowledging your fate, but ACCEPTING it.

Bonus Question: How likely is it to be buried alive in modern day america? That's one of my greatest fears and I want to assure it never happens to me.

 

[Thief]

If you abide by law in the USA, your remains will be confined and not returned to nature.
No need to worry about the worm.

As for the reoccurring concern of 'the end'......

I suspect it is the main cause that people flock to religion.

I don't.
I have no religion.
But I've been blind seven days and did not stop seeing.
I've known my limbs to be cold and unresponsive and did not stop feeling.
(freak accidents)

I suspect I will continue.
My thoughts and feelings will simply go on to another scheme of things.

I say, continuance is possible and likely.
7billion people are now forming unique spirit as I type this.
All fail?.....all to be dust?
Not one to survive the last breath?

I think the odds favor continuance for the few that can do so.

 

[Estro Felino]

I've never been afraid of death. Being raised in a Catholic family implies a restless worship of Death as something positive. As something not separated from life, so you develop the awareness that death is just the beginning of a new life.

Sometimes I am afraid of becoming old. That's what terrifies me the most.
I would like to die before becoming old.

 

[psychoslice]

live your life to its fullest and you will have no time to worry about death.

 

[sandandfoam]

To my mind ones own death is not a tragedy if one has lived.
Gibran is my favourite author on this subject. I find peace in his words.

On Death
Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance

 

[Viker]

Come, sweet death, come, blessed rest!
Come lead me to peace
for I am weary of the world,
O come! I wait for you,
come soon and lead me,
close my eyes.
Come, blessed rest!

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Come, sweet death, come, blessed rest!
Come lead me to peace
for I am weary of the world,
O come! I wait for you,
come soon and lead me,
close my eyes.
Come, blessed rest!

Death is very peaceful, I imagine. It would be the perfect release from all tension that existence is. In fact, I admit to calling it a reasonable solution if one seeks to escape problems of any size, because it is permanent, sudden (the transition from life to death), and prevents further problems of any kind.

What I dislike though is the mark it leaves in your circle of the social world. You will do incredible emotional damage to loved ones.

It is the choice between: Seeing your loved ones go and putting up with the pain it causes you, or making your loved ones see you go while not having pain from their pain. One is selfish, the other is tragic.

 

[Estro Felino]

I love death because the victims will be rewarded and the wicked will be punished.

 

[metis]

At my age of 69, I've seen enough people whose life was prolonged only to live in misery. I think for so many, death is a blessing, so I don't fear it. However, it's not real high on my list of things to do today.

 

[Straw Dog]

Welcome to the club! The majority of us here are afraid of death and seeking escape, acceptance and/or comfort in the face of certain expiration. It's not very difficult to find a comfortable belief that somewhat helps you escape the fear of death, but a completely real solution that avoids intellectual suicide is much more challenging.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Welcome to the club! The majority of us here are afraid of death and seeking escape, acceptance and/or comfort in the face of certain expiration. It's not very difficult to find a comfortable belief that somewhat helps you escape the fear of death, but a completely real solution that avoids intellectual suicide is much more challenging.

I personally think the fear of death is in a majority of people even if they don't know it. I don't believe the fear of death can be accomplished unless life becomes worse than death. It can only be accomplished by a select few.

It's simply an intrinsic desire to survive. Nobody feels comfortable hearing the news that they don't have long to live. In my opinion, a lot of people who claim to not fear death are either: 1) Not taking a minute and actually think about the fact that some day you will feel death. or 2) Not realize how tragic it is to die until they are close dying.

Even if the emotional state completely subsided, your body is probably. I have read a story of a man who survived hanging himself. He was buried deep under all of his depression, existing was simply too much for him. As he kicked the chair, he messed up. It didn't fall but it scooted back and he began to hang. It was not until that very second he regretted this, how terrible dying is. His body seemingly had a mind of its own, legs kicking for the chair, arms pulling up the rope. He falls, and that only gave him more depression: Almost dying, failing the escape plan, the actual realization that he does not like himself.

 

[Viker]

I love death because the victims will be rewarded and the wicked will be punished.

How would that lend you to love death?

 

[Thief]

Years ago a movie called ...All That Jazz...caught my attention.
It has within it's dialog a train of thought otherwise known as the
Kubler/Ross model.

Simply put.....a progression....
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

The movie will display the scenario with entertainment support.

Enjoy.

 

[LegionOnomaMoi]

"Death stands above me, whispering low
I know not what into my ear
Of his strange language all I know
Is there is not a word of fear"
(I forget who wrote that)

 

[The Sum of Awe]

"Death stands above me, whispering low
I know not what into my ear
Of his strange language all I know
Is there is not a word of fear"
(I forget who wrote that)

What does that mean?

 

[Willamena]

What does that mean?

Death only exists to contrast with life. Death, where there is no life, is nothing to fear.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Death only exists to contrast with life. Death, where there is no life, is nothing to fear.

But though it may not be an issue for a deceased individual, doesn't mean it isn't an issue. Certainly it resolves issues in the way that a dead man will not be aware of any issues, but that doesn't mean if the dead man were aware of these things they would be seen as issues.

If Bob dies, his wife will screams and shouts in devastation of the news. Bob doesn't notice, he's dead. But does this mean this is no longer a problem just because Bob isn't aware of it? If Bob wouldn't want it if he was alive, but isn't alive, and it happens, does it negate that it is unwanted?

 

[Willamena]

But though it may not be an issue for a deceased individual, doesn't mean it isn't an issue. Certainly it resolves issues in the way that a dead man will not be aware of any issues, but that doesn't mean if the dead man were aware of these things they would be seen as issues.

If Bob dies, his wife will screams and shouts in devastation of the news. Bob doesn't notice, he's dead. But does this mean this is no longer a problem just because Bob isn't aware of it? If Bob wouldn't want it if he was alive, but isn't alive, and it happens, does it negate that it is unwanted?

It's all about the question, "what is life?" Death is the contrast to that for the person here and now. (The person dead doesn't have a care.)

"Life" is the attribute we give to "self" before its ceasing--but, for the non-dual, self and other are one. You are that tree outside the window. You are that car on a street in China. You are life, and you are death--here and now. There is no distinction between "self" and all the things that make up the world.

Death to be feared is the cessation of self. Death that is self that is you drops cessation, and so drops fear.

 

[LuisDantas]

What I dislike though is the mark it leaves in your circle of the social world. You will do incredible emotional damage to loved ones.

That is not always true. Nor is the damage, even when it happens, necessarily too different or any worse than other varieties that people cause to those they hate, love or despise.

It is the choice between: Seeing your loved ones go and putting up with the pain it causes you, or making your loved ones see you go while not having pain from their pain. One is selfish, the other is tragic.

Both can be that way under certain circunstances. Neither has to be. I'm not sure those circunstances are even usual.

 

[LuisDantas]

I personally think the fear of death is in a majority of people even if they don't know it. I don't believe the fear of death can be accomplished unless life becomes worse than death. It can only be accomplished by a select few.

Really? That is so at odds with my impressions. Then again, I know a lot of suicidal and/or weary people, even if many of them haven't noticed that.

It's simply an intrinsic desire to survive. Nobody feels comfortable hearing the news that they don't have long to live. In my opinion, a lot of people who claim to not fear death are either: 1) Not taking a minute and actually think about the fact that some day you will feel death. or 2) Not realize how tragic it is to die until they are close dying.

Dying is easy. Living ill is far, far worse.

Even if the emotional state completely subsided, your body is probably. I have read a story of a man who survived hanging himself. He was buried deep under all of his depression, existing was simply too much for him. As he kicked the chair, he messed up. It didn't fall but it scooted back and he began to hang. It was not until that very second he regretted this, how terrible dying is. His body seemingly had a mind of its own, legs kicking for the chair, arms pulling up the rope. He falls, and that only gave him more depression: Almost dying, failing the escape plan, the actual realization that he does not like himself.

Yet it can be very terapeuthic to reach that realization. Or more accurately, failing to can be quite the hindrance.