Massimo2002
Active Member
Life for me is confusing and disappointing an example is getting guys attracted to me on the internet instead of women another example is not having any friends and a final example is not having a meaningful life.
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Feeling empty and alone
- Thread starter Massimo2002
- Start date
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- Tags
- disappointment emotions
In my experience, what aspects of one's life one focuses on is everything.
As long as you continue to fill your life with words such as empty, alone, confusing, and disappointing, that's what you will continue to bring to your life. It's not your fault. It's a human tendency to focus on the negative aspects of one's life and disregard the positive.
I have an exercise for you to attempt if you're feeling up to it. Completely your choice if you wish to do it or completely dismiss what I'm about to write.
In everything you experience, rather than identifying negative qualities in that experience, identify at least one positive quality, regardless of how small you think that positive may be, use at least one word to describe that quality, and speak that quality, either aloud or in your head, as many times as you're comfortable with. For example, instead of 'alone,' use 'alive.' Focus on doing this for at least a week from the time you awaken to the time you fall asleep. Let us know if you feel any differently at the end of that week.
As long as you continue to fill your life with words such as empty, alone, confusing, and disappointing, that's what you will continue to bring to your life. It's not your fault. It's a human tendency to focus on the negative aspects of one's life and disregard the positive.
I have an exercise for you to attempt if you're feeling up to it. Completely your choice if you wish to do it or completely dismiss what I'm about to write.
In everything you experience, rather than identifying negative qualities in that experience, identify at least one positive quality, regardless of how small you think that positive may be, use at least one word to describe that quality, and speak that quality, either aloud or in your head, as many times as you're comfortable with. For example, instead of 'alone,' use 'alive.' Focus on doing this for at least a week from the time you awaken to the time you fall asleep. Let us know if you feel any differently at the end of that week.
PureX
Veteran Member
Why are you having difficulty interacting with other people (in real life)? It sounds like whatever that issue is, you need to address it. Perhaps seek some kind of counceling and look for groups that meet in person and that share some common interests with you.
You are not alone in this. Especially since the advent of the internet. A LOT of young people are feeling and facing this same impediment.
Massimo2002
Active Member
I have heard that I am not alone but yet I feel alone because I don't know anyone else going through this.
Massimo2002
Active Member
I accept your offer and will see if anything changes in a week if I change my words in my mind.
dybmh
דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
I will be your friend. Hi, My name is Daniel. It's the "D" in Dybmh.
{ I am not making advances towards you in that way... to be clear )
Elliott
Member
I know that we all go through hardships in our lives and each of us respond differently. As for myself, i came to realize, after experiencing betrayal my whole (literally), on a subconscious level i have been keeping people out of my heart. I have some family and friends that i still interact with, we get along, but i had reached such a low point that my subconscious mind doesn't think anyone is important anymore, or trustworthy for that matter.
I also came to realize that i am part of the problem myself. I was never a good friend, son, brother... i am part of the problem. But it doesn't matter far as I'm concerned, the damage is done. I've embraced this point that I've reached in my life and even found tremendous benefits as a result.
I'm not saying you should adopt this attitude, I'm not offering any advice as to what you should do. Just sharing my own experience.
Really? Loneliness and emptiness are at epidemic levels these days. Mental illness and drug addiction are at epidemic levels and the suicide rate has been going up each year for years. There's multiple people on RF who deal with those issues and post about them, too. I myself have been posting for years about my loneliness on here. So you must not be paying much attention. It's all around you. But maybe you're around people who are at least pretending to be all happy. Lots of people in denial, too.
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I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time right now. As others have said, you're not alone in struggling; many people feel the same or similarly at the moment.
Have you actively tried to make friends before? Why not try now? There are people on this very forum who I'm sure would be happy to talk to you more.
Also, I would highly recommend letting go of any expectations regarding attraction when interacting with women and just treating them as you would any other person. Perhaps you could even try two things at once by looking to befriend more women and getting to know and be interested in them for who they are, not for any pursuit of attraction, dating, etc.
Massimo2002
Active Member
I am a very sexual guy so being just friends with women is mostly out of the question.
That might be what pushes some of them away.
If they're getting the "I'm just here for sex" vibe, a good number of them will be repelled.
Massimo2002
Active Member
Then so be it.
As @JustGeorge said, this will push some—I would say many—of them away. It's perfectly okay and natural to want a relationship, but do all of your interactions with women have to be for that purpose? Is there anything preventing you from having female friends and at the same time looking for a date among other women?
You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, but I think it could be helpful to consider trying new approaches and consider different perspectives on how to view certain social interactions.
Maninthemiddle
Active Member
It can be difficult to navigate these feelings, especially when faced with challenges such as loneliness, lack of meaningful connections, and uncertainty about your identity and relationships. Here are some suggestions that may help you in addressing these issues:
1. Seeking support: It is important to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals for support. Talking about your feelings and experiences with someone you trust can provide emotional validation and guidance.
2. Building meaningful connections: Consider joining social groups, clubs, or communities where you can meet like-minded individuals and build meaningful relationships. This can help in fostering a sense of belonging and fulfillment.
3. Exploring your identity: It is important to take the time to reflect on your own values, interests, and desires. Understanding and accepting yourself is a crucial step in building a fulfilling and authentic life.
4. Setting goals: Consider setting small, achievable goals for yourself that align with your values and interests. This can help in creating a sense of purpose and direction in your life.
5. Practicing self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and prioritize your well-being.
Remember that it is okay to feel lost and uncertain at times. It is a natural part of the human experience. By seeking support, building connections, exploring your identity, setting goals, and practicing self-care, you may be able to navigate through these challenges and find meaning and fulfilment in your life.
1. Seeking support: It is important to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals for support. Talking about your feelings and experiences with someone you trust can provide emotional validation and guidance.
2. Building meaningful connections: Consider joining social groups, clubs, or communities where you can meet like-minded individuals and build meaningful relationships. This can help in fostering a sense of belonging and fulfillment.
3. Exploring your identity: It is important to take the time to reflect on your own values, interests, and desires. Understanding and accepting yourself is a crucial step in building a fulfilling and authentic life.
4. Setting goals: Consider setting small, achievable goals for yourself that align with your values and interests. This can help in creating a sense of purpose and direction in your life.
5. Practicing self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and prioritize your well-being.
Remember that it is okay to feel lost and uncertain at times. It is a natural part of the human experience. By seeking support, building connections, exploring your identity, setting goals, and practicing self-care, you may be able to navigate through these challenges and find meaning and fulfilment in your life.
Massimo2002
Active Member
That's all great but If that all fails then I am screwed.
Massimo2002
Active Member
I could try it but I would rather just have guys as friends and women for sexual needs.
Why?
Massimo2002
Active Member
Because as I said before I am hyper sexual.
I had a roommate that was hypersexual, but she had a lot of male friends(some of whom she had sex with, and some of whom she did not). I'm not sure why being hypersexual would prevent a person from befriending a person.
Elliott
Member
It would appear your friend didn't have it as bad as Massimo2002. As you said, your former-roommate had friends. Massimo2002 is struggling with friendships. You will also find that there are many guys who do have a hard time being friends with women. I think that is a common occurrence.