Fellowship in UU congregations

[Green Gaia]

What does your congregation do for fun?

What do you do just to get together and enjoy each other without having to decide church business or do fundraising?

What does you church not do that you think would be a good idea?

 

[uumckk16]

What does your congregation do for fun?

What do you do just to get together and enjoy each other without having to decide church business or do fundraising?

What does you church not do that you think would be a good idea?

I haven't been in the church long enough to know too many things. But I know there are occasional movie nights and brunches; trips to our partner church in Romania; a retreat at the beginning of summer; and, of course, Coffee Hour!

 

[Green Gaia]

Thanks! A movie night sounds like fun!

 

[hartlandcat]

Before our old minister retired (he'd been with us for about 40 years), we didn't even have tea/coffee/biscuits after the service. But this has started now with our new minister, who is also interested in running discussion groups and courses in evenings... this all sounds rather scary!

 

[BrandonE]

We're starting lots of new stuff in this vein in the coming fall. Our commitee meetings are going to be changed to an "all-committe night" format, meaning we'll have a potluck supper before the meetings, then have all of the different committe meetings at the same time, with childcare provided for those of us with youngin's.

We're also starting "Circle Suppers" which will just be a potluck at someone's house, with the hosting duty rotating through the group monthly, and of course, no one is required to host in order to participate.

We have an active young adults group, and though my wife and I fall in the age range (18-35), we haven't participated yet.

 

[Green Gaia]

We're starting lots of new stuff in this vein in the coming fall. Our commitee meetings are going to be changed to an "all-committe night" format, meaning we'll have a potluck supper before the meetings, then have all of the different committe meetings at the same time, with childcare provided for those of us with youngin's.

Wow, I LOVE that idea!

 

[BrandonE]

Wow, I LOVE that idea!

Yeah, me too. I didn't think of it, but it will make it very easy for my wife and I to attend our separate comittees and still be together for most of the evening. We're a relatively small congregation (just under 100 members, with around 80-100 friends and members for most Sundays), but we're starting to think like a bigger one. Hopefully that will help make it happen.

 

[lilithu]

Our commitee meetings are going to be changed to an "all-committe night" format, meaning we'll have a potluck supper before the meetings, then have all of the different committe meetings at the same time, with childcare provided for those of us with youngin's.

And what about those of us like me who currently sit on six committees? I've already had to be in three places at once a few time (two places at once is a regular occurence). Having all my committee meetings at once would make me go:faint:

 

[Green Gaia]

6 committees?? I thought my 2 committees was too much. :cover: Unfortuantely, I can't currently attend one of my committee's monthly meeting (RE) because I have class that night until 10pm. And the other I'm late for because of class as well. I have that meeting tonight, in fact and I'll be sprinting over to the church after class.

 

[lilithu]

6 committees?? I thought my 2 committees was too much. :cover: Unfortuantely, I can't currently attend one of my committee's monthly meeting (RE) because I have class that night until 10pm. And the other I'm late for because of class as well. I have that meeting tonight, in fact and I'll be sprinting over to the church after class.

Yes, it's true, I have no life.

Chez at the front desk jokes that I must not have cable tv since I am in church more evenings than not; I must come in for the entertainment.

To be honest, I haven't attended a meeting for one of the committees in over 6 months tho I'm still on their roster. And two others are short-term - defined goal and an end in sight. But that still leaves Adult Spiritual Development (adult RE), Building the Beloved Community (racial diversity & multi-culturalism), and Denominational Affairs. All three of which are very frustrating at times but near and dear to my heart. I wouldn't know how to choose between education, multi-culturalism, and helping to grow our denomination.

But don't you teach RE? That must take up a lot of your time.

 

[lilithu]

Before our old minister retired (he'd been with us for about 40 years), we didn't even have tea/coffee/biscuits after the service. But this has started now with our new minister, who is also interested in running discussion groups and courses in evenings... this all sounds rather scary!

Namaste hartlandcat, that does sound like a lot of change after 40 years. But hang in there, change is scary and also sometimes liberating and fun.


Our church is about 800 members with over 1/2 of them having joined in the last few years and it's over 180 years old, so it's chaotic in some ways with lots of change but it's also very well established and set in other ways.

What do we do to socialize that doesn't involve church business or fund-raising? Kinda hard to seperate these things. We try to make fund-raising fun, and we try to make social things profitable.

Well, during the normal year (non-summer) we have lunch after service. $5/person, free for visitors. It raises a small bit of money but it's purpose is mainly social. I think that's the single greatest thing we do to foster community in a church our size. People sitting around after service at tables of 8 or so, talking over food.

On Generosity Sunday in October (when we make our pledges to the church) there's a big, catered lunch to celebrate. Every year in spring we have an auction, which again is a fundraiser, but there's food and drinks and a party atmosphere. (It's really fun!) Every Easter Sunday our Silver Souls (65+ or older) put on an Easter brunch, with the proceeds going to charity. In May we have "Weekend on the Bay," which is a church wide retreat where we drive out to the Maryland seashore and do camp stuff. And in June there is the church picnic with grilled hotdogs and burgers and potato salad, the usual... and frisbee tossing etc.

Both the church retreat and picnic are geared towards promoting interactions between generations. I suppose if there were anything that I think we should do more of, it would be stuff like that. Like maybe one more inter-generational event in late autumn, like around Thanksgiving? Overall I think we do a lot.

Oh actually, the ASD committee has started "Dinner and a movie" once a month on friday nights, where you get dinner and a movie and then a brief discussion about it afterwards, all for $10. (Again, meant to be a fundraiser, educational, and entertainment all in one - we're big on multi-tasking!) And BtBC has started "First Fridays socials" for young adults, with live music and a cash bar (yes, beer and wine in a church, and not for communion), specifically to provide a place for African American young adults to socialize within the church. We're also doing identity-based potlucks.... like I said, it's hard to separate out church business from our socializing.

 

[hartlandcat]

Very interesting, lilithu! Wow, 800 members... could that perhaps be the largest Unitarian congregation in the world? How many are there on an average Sunday? We have about 40 members, which usually translates to about 20 people on an average Sunday — my overall impression within the denomination is that this is about average for British Unitarian congregations in general.

 

[lilithu]

Very interesting, lilithu! Wow, 800 members... could that perhaps be the largest Unitarian congregation in the world? How many are there on an average Sunday? We have about 40 members, which usually translates to about 20 people on an average Sunday — my overall impression within the denomination is that this is about average for British Unitarian congregations in general.

Nah, we're not even the largest UU congregation in our area.

I say 800 because that's how many people we have on our roster - people who have signed the book and who we know have not died or moved away. But the official number as recognized by the UUA is somewhere between 550-600 members. That's how many people in our congregation who have pledged some amount of financial support to the church in the last year. (It can be as little as a dollar; it just has to be official.) On any given Sunday we get around 500 worshippers. More for Christmas and much more Easter.

When I look at the numbers reported for other UU congregations I'm sure those are the "official" numbers and the actual number of people affiliated with the congregation is higher. The Arlington church, just down the road from us in Virgina has 1,025 official members. And the First Unitarian Society in Madison, Wisconsin, which holds the record for being the largest UU congregation has I think over 2,000 members. Their building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, who was a congregant there. It's gorgeous. Those lucky dogs!

Ours is modeled after St. Martin in the Fields, and it's beautiful. I love it. But it is a very classically Protestant architecture. Whereas the church in Madison looks like a UU church - egalitarian and organic.

But I digress... Our church is considered large. I don't want to give you the impression that we're all that big. Many are around the size of yours, maybe slightly bigger. Do you have the impression that Unitarianism is growing in Britain, dying, or staying about the same? Maybe it's just me since I'm so immersed I may have lost perspective but it seems that UU is growing here in the U.S.

Here's something else that may surprise you. I'd say that at least a third of our congregation is under 30 years old, not counting the kids.

 

[Green Gaia]

My church is about 220 official members. 800 or 1000 members boggles my mind. Good for you guys though.

 

[hartlandcat]

Do you have the impression that Unitarianism is growing in Britain, dying, or staying about the same?

Dying, unfortunately. 40 years ago, there were apparently about 15,000 Unitarians in Britain. Today, it is estimated that there are only about 6,000 of us.

Having said that, I went to GA a few months ago and 'numerical growth' was very much on the agenda. It was agreed that, if we were to survive as a movement, we would have to make 'numerical growth' a priority — which we have, at least on paper.

My view is that, if we are to grow, we need to take a closer look at the causes of this rather alarming rate of decline, otherwise we won't exist in 40 years time. We're not the only ones though — it's often been suggested that there won't be any Methodists left in Britain in 100 years either, if not sooner.

Maybe it's just me since I'm so immersed I may have lost perspective but it seems that UU is growing here in the U.S.

That's good — what do you think might be the causes of this apparent growth?

Here's something else that may surprise you. I'd say that at least a third of our congregation is under 30 years old, not counting the kids.

Wow! Well, I'm 17 and, apart from one or two very young children who sometimes come, I'm the youngest there by about 30 years. Except for the minister, who's about 28, it's mainly elderly ladies.

 

[lilithu]

My church is about 220 official members. 800 or 1000 members boggles my mind. Good for you guys though.

It boggles my mind too. :areyoucra

Actually, I'd rather have more UU churches with a healthy number of people spread out across the country than a few humongous (sp?) churches in these "UU hotspots." 220 seems like a good number. Perhaps I'd prefer a little bigger but not much more. My church is actually too big for my tastes but I love it for other reasons.

The thing is that as congregations grow the number of people who actively volunteer doesn't grow at the same rate. The congregation changes in flavor from one in which most members are actively engaged together in community to one in which most people are kinda "consumers" - they come on Sundays and other events to be a specatator and then leave with no real connection to the church, and they may give money, but that still leaves more work proportionately for those of us who volunteer. I would prefer a smaller church. But big enough so that there's a variety of things going on.

 

[Green Gaia]

I've noticed that even within our 220, it's usually the same people volunteering. Although we do have a leadership development committee which works on matching people and their talents to jobs and roles within the church.

I've had the growth and are now working on providing a variety of things to do. That transition from a pastoral church to a program church, and going through some (understandably) growing pains because of it. We're finding out that things that worked in the past may not be the best way to go about doing things now. Which should seem obvious to UUs, but even we can get stuck in our ways.

 

[lilithu]

I've noticed that even within our 220, it's usually the same people volunteering. Although we do have a leadership development committee which works on matching people and their talents to jobs and roles within the church.

I've had the growth and are now working on providing a variety of things to do. That transition from a pastoral church to a program church, and going through some (understandably) growing pains because of it. We're finding out that things that worked in the past may not be the best way to go about doing things now. Which should seem obvious to UUs, but even we can get stuck in our ways.

Yeah, but we have gone from a pastoral church to a program church our pastoral care now kinda sucks. It's ok for me because I'm so plugged in that if I need to talk to a minister I just say so and they will find the time for me. But for somone who is new or shy, and who may never have even exchanged a word with either minister... It's not like the ministers don't care, they do, but with 800 members it's impossible for them to know everyone even superficially. We've gotten a lot of complaints and rightly so. How do you provide pastoral care for that many members?

 

[uumckk16]

I say 800 because that's how many people we have on our roster - people who have signed the book and who we know have not died or moved away. But the official number as recognized by the UUA is somewhere between 550-600 members. That's how many people in our congregation who have pledged some amount of financial support to the church in the last year. (It can be as little as a dollar; it just has to be official.) On any given Sunday we get around 500 worshippers. More for Christmas and much more Easter.

Wow. You go to All Souls in D.C., right? I would really love to go there some Sunday... (I live relatively close by.) I'll have to work on that.

But I digress... Our church is considered large. I don't want to give you the impression that we're all that big. Many are around the size of yours, maybe slightly bigger.

According to the UUA website All Souls is 636, Arlington is 993. Mine is 370, but I definitely wouldn't say there are that many people there each Sunday. I'm not good at guessing numbers so I can't really approximate, but we are generally relatively full.

Here's something else that may surprise you. I'd say that at least a third of our congregation is under 30 years old, not counting the kids.

That's wonderful!

 

[lilithu]

Wow. You go to All Souls in D.C., right? I would really love to go there some Sunday... (I live relatively close by.) I'll have to work on that.


According to the UUA website All Souls is 636, Arlington is 993. Mine is 370, but I definitely wouldn't say there are that many people there each Sunday. I'm not good at guessing numbers so I can't really approximate, but we are generally relatively full.

Sure, come by and visit any time! We go back to normal (non-summer hours) this coming Sunday. Tho I won't be there for Homecoming Sunday. I'll be at a retreat in MD. And I would love to meet you if and when you visit. If you can come on the 24th, you'll see what it's like when we really rock the house.

Close by, huh? I've visited the Rockville church and this past weekend I was at the Silver Spring church, both in MD. Haven't made it to River Road or Arlington or Davies Memorial yet, tho I want to.