It seems the be the same people on RF talking about how awful feminism is, so not much has changed in that respect since I've been away. Same jokers different day.
I'm starting to change my view on whether or not cis men can call themselves feminists since they don't experience misogyny. They can be feminist allies and certainly allies to individual feminist causes. But people who experience misogyny are the ones who should be directing feminist philosophy. What we need and what feminism is, should be a discussion amongst the people whom feminism should be prioritising. Cis men can use their privilege to educate other men but they shouldn't direct or define what feminism should be about.
The bold parts I agree with 100%. As I stated in my signature, of course I give a damn what men think, but if giving a damn to them means I must also let go of my experiences, my history, the internalized rhetoric from everyday cliches about women that I fight, then I draw the line before that. I give a damn, but not if it means I give my perspective and mind away for somebody else to decide if it's worthy.
The problem with the Emma Watson's speech isn't so much that it was extremely simplistic about defining feminism and it isn't so much that she could have spoken about more important issues than someone calling her "bossy", the problem is that she basically implied men don't have privilege. She's clearly not knowledgeable on feminist philosophy or she just didn't imply that knowledge when she was writing that speech.
I have a different take on it. She's one of the "lean in" speakers/writers that does what she can to connect with an audience who might feel alienated. I really don't think feminism must be about her speech, as she is one woman giving her perspective. She gets support, but she doesn't define feminism IMO.
Feminism shouldn't be about making men feel better about themselves, they can get therapy for that. Feminism should be challenging to men. For example a lot of men are going to realise they have sexually assaulted or sexually harassed a woman and that's going to be awfully uncomfortable for them, but that's up to them to face it or not.
At the most. I think overall feminism puts a mirror up to everyone's faces, including men, to show how all of us have thought and stated anti-woman sexist tropes. Feminism is challenging, still, to me. It challenges the societal internalized misogyny that can seep through the cracks in my own foundations.
Earlier this week our dance studio had a photo shoot for the dancers. In spite of the acknowledgement that I tell the dancers NOT to count calories to keep their weight low, but only if they're feeding their bodies enough nutrients to get through the rigorous athleticism I and my staff put on them....during pictures they were still checking their legs for cellulite, fretting over not having a flat enough stomach, and talking about how fat or ugly they look. These are girls as young as 8 saying some of this. We all reassure them how strong and radiant they look...and the self-loathing comments continue.
The system is overwhelmingly stacked in favor of it's own survival.
I am confident that feminism makes men uncomfortable because it challenges their own sexist conditioning as well, though with different flavor and perspective. I tend to see red flags go up when a straight white man walks into our meetings and talks incessantly about how he has never seen color, never thinks anything sexist, that he doesn't think in terms of gay/straight. It becomes more about how awesome they are because they think equality, and not about acknowledging that sexism still exists....well okay, but just never in him or in his actions.
THAT is a problem. It goes beyond mere defensiveness at that point, and becomes a concern over possible predatory behavior. If he denies any sexism is possible on his part, then it shuts down any conversation if he says something that feels aggressive and harassing to other women around him.
