-
Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Access to private conversations with other members.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
Forgiveness
- Thread starter +Xausted
- Start date
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
Can you sharpen the question a bit by telling us what you mean by "forgiveness" and "healing"? A hypothetical situation might help, too.
+Xausted
Well-Known Member
Nope.Sorry. I want you to run with it. Then when I believe you have misunderstood, i will interject.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
Nope.Sorry. I want you to run with it. Then when I believe you have misunderstood, i will interject.
You haven't given us anything to run with. That's why I asked you to help us out. But as you wish.
+Xausted
Well-Known Member
ok, jokes aside.
Sharpen the question? As long as you dont go semantical on me.
What I was meaning was, when you forgive a person for some wrong doings they have commited that have affected you, is it within that or something else that one finds the capacity to heal?
Can true healing really occur without forgiving the person that caused the hurt.
I can not give examples as I feel that would send the thread on a definitive trajectory that I feel is unnessessary
Sharpen the question? As long as you dont go semantical on me.
What I was meaning was, when you forgive a person for some wrong doings they have commited that have affected you, is it within that or something else that one finds the capacity to heal?
Can true healing really occur without forgiving the person that caused the hurt.
I can not give examples as I feel that would send the thread on a definitive trajectory that I feel is unnessessary
Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
I don't know, I truly don't. I've been told that forgiving the wrongs done me will help me heal, but I just can't do it. Forgiveness, to me, means "it's ok. I don't blame you." But it's not ok, and I do blame them. I don't see how lying about that is going to do me any good.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
Forgiveness doesn't imply that the other person didn't do wrong; nor does it imply that what they did is okay; and it certainly doesn't imply that the person isn't to blame. Quite the opposite.
Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
What does it imply to you, then?
I guess the problem is that I see forgiveness as an act of compassion, and I can't muster any for this situation.
+Xausted
Well-Known Member
It won't ,as this will not be forgiveness.
We came to it all in our own time, some never do. It can not be forced and we all must lead our own path.
Do others believe that forgiveness means Storms understanding of it?
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
I think that for as long as you bear a grudge you are not whole. So forgiveness is more for oneself than for the offender. But I understand that it's easier said than done.
+Xausted
Well-Known Member
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
Then have compassion for yourself. As long as you hold onto the anger, it's you who suffers.
Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
That's what my therapist keeps saying.
I'm working on it.But how do you let go? I've made my own kind of peace with what happened to me, but every time I think I'm over the anger, it rears its ugly head again.
+Xausted
Well-Known Member
No one can answer that question for you, it is personnal.That's what my therapist keeps saying.
But how do you let go? I've made my own kind of peace with what happened to me, but every time I think I'm over the anger, it rears its ugly head again.
For me I just got so tired. Really really tired. So tired I just could not hold onto the hate anymore. So I let it go....
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
As Jayne said, I can't answer that. But I would suggest that when the anger overcomes you, just remember to have compassion for yourself. Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. Not saying this will make it magically go away. But it might help keep things in perspective.That's what my therapist keeps saying.
But how do you let go? I've made my own kind of peace with what happened to me, but every time I think I'm over the anger, it rears its ugly head again.
Nessa Nenharma
Goddess of my Domain
For me, I feel that forgiving is the first step to healing. I am not saying I forgive right away, or that I don't get angry, or even sometimes even, but eventually I find it in myself to forgive, others as well as myself. I think that while you hold some sort of annimosity or grudge towards someone you aren't completely at peace with yourself.
I would also like to point out that forgiving yourself is just as, if not more, important as forgiving others. We ALL do things that need to be forgiven.
:bb:
Nessa
I would also like to point out that forgiving yourself is just as, if not more, important as forgiving others. We ALL do things that need to be forgiven.
:bb:
Nessa
Yes, and yes.
blackout
Violet.
When your transgressor is still (and ever) in the process of transgressing against you,
well, I can't figure out how forgiveness applies there.
It's like, hey... let me be real nice to you while you use my face as your daily door matt.
Avoid, avert and ignore/disconnect might work better in a case like this?
(ie... try to keep your face clear of the big dirty boot?)
I mean, can you forgive someone for being a jerk?
well, I can't figure out how forgiveness applies there.
It's like, hey... let me be real nice to you while you use my face as your daily door matt.
Avoid, avert and ignore/disconnect might work better in a case like this?
(ie... try to keep your face clear of the big dirty boot?)
I mean, can you forgive someone for being a jerk?