Lately I'm not all that sexual, but when I was, there was something that I used to wonder about and recently did again.
How do two people who are possibly attracted to each other decide, really, to go further with sexual exploration? I get that talking about it is the obvious answer. I actually used to do that often, but at times I found it could 'kill the mood.' Not always, and regardless of 'killing the mood' I think it is generally wise to talk first than assume. Can even be erotic just to explore it in conversation before action.
But I'm thinking if two people lean into kiss each other, that is likely welcomed on both ends. Everything after that, which may occur between two consenting adults in an evening, are what I wonder about as being truly consensual. Such that if two people (let's say I'm one of them) kiss each other and during that action, I place my hands anywhere on the other person, is that "truly welcomed" or am I just being bold, caught up in the moment?
Lots of little scenarios along same lines as above inquiry, but I'm curious what others have to say as to what makes such actions, in your mind, as 'perfectly okay?'
Also wondering how far others might go when 'moving things along?' Hmm, not terribly interested in the end points (i.e. feeling a person up under their shirt) but in making the determination in spur of the moment that this will surely be okay.
I think this side of the forum tends to attract us (sexual) people who have explored sexuality a bit more than others. I dunno how accurate that is, but I'm stating that because in my mind sometimes during a kiss were thoughts that would not be rated PG-13 or under. And sometimes, I'd find myself in the situation where that same day (or night), I'd be engaging in what I anticipated could happen. Sometimes, not always, it was a very brief discussing (thus verbal invitation) as to how we got there. Other times, no discussion and just two people exploring the depths of each other's sexual liberation.
So, for me, sexuality routinely comes off as experimenting, but far more so when it is with someone new or early in a relationship. The more I knew someone and their boundaries (or they understood mine), the more it became a routine to satisfy urges and hopefully build strong intimacy.
That experimenting still fascinates me, even while I'm not all that sexually active. The bold advances that I, and I assume countless others, make is essentially what I'm inquiring about. Thinking about it, rather than being in the moment, routinely makes me think there is a fine line between 'perfectly okay' and 'completely unacceptable.'
How do two people who are possibly attracted to each other decide, really, to go further with sexual exploration? I get that talking about it is the obvious answer. I actually used to do that often, but at times I found it could 'kill the mood.' Not always, and regardless of 'killing the mood' I think it is generally wise to talk first than assume. Can even be erotic just to explore it in conversation before action.
But I'm thinking if two people lean into kiss each other, that is likely welcomed on both ends. Everything after that, which may occur between two consenting adults in an evening, are what I wonder about as being truly consensual. Such that if two people (let's say I'm one of them) kiss each other and during that action, I place my hands anywhere on the other person, is that "truly welcomed" or am I just being bold, caught up in the moment?
Lots of little scenarios along same lines as above inquiry, but I'm curious what others have to say as to what makes such actions, in your mind, as 'perfectly okay?'
Also wondering how far others might go when 'moving things along?' Hmm, not terribly interested in the end points (i.e. feeling a person up under their shirt) but in making the determination in spur of the moment that this will surely be okay.
I think this side of the forum tends to attract us (sexual) people who have explored sexuality a bit more than others. I dunno how accurate that is, but I'm stating that because in my mind sometimes during a kiss were thoughts that would not be rated PG-13 or under. And sometimes, I'd find myself in the situation where that same day (or night), I'd be engaging in what I anticipated could happen. Sometimes, not always, it was a very brief discussing (thus verbal invitation) as to how we got there. Other times, no discussion and just two people exploring the depths of each other's sexual liberation.
So, for me, sexuality routinely comes off as experimenting, but far more so when it is with someone new or early in a relationship. The more I knew someone and their boundaries (or they understood mine), the more it became a routine to satisfy urges and hopefully build strong intimacy.
That experimenting still fascinates me, even while I'm not all that sexually active. The bold advances that I, and I assume countless others, make is essentially what I'm inquiring about. Thinking about it, rather than being in the moment, routinely makes me think there is a fine line between 'perfectly okay' and 'completely unacceptable.'
