Grappling with Christianity.

[Saint Frankenstein]

So I've decided to return to Christianity - or grapple with it once again, as it were. I have to start over with it since It's been years since I was truly devout. I feel like a baby Christian, which is wondrous yet scary. I'm not sure where this road will lead.

I don't know if I will return to the Catholic Church. I do believe that the Sacraments are eternally binding - an unreliable indelible mark on the soul and lean towards the Catholic Church being the one true Church.

However, I do wonder about my chances at finding a home in it by feeling welcomed. I'm a transsexual and that's very misunderstood. I could be committing sacrilege by taking Communion. That's a scary thought. I certmainly don't want to do that. I feel that I can't possibly detransition, either. I'm too far down the road for that. I just can't be a woman, psychologically. So this leaves me in quite the quandary.

I would have to leave behind many other sinful things I've polluted my mind and heart with, as well. That will also be quite the challenge. I will need to become truly born again.

God help me.

 

[Laika]

Satan will miss you.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Satan will miss you.

I know Satan personally. I talk to her quite regularly. Funnily, even Satan's a Buddhist! (Referring to a friend of mine.)

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

I know Satan personally. I talk to her quite regularly. Funnily, even Satan's a Buddhist! (Referring to a friend of mine.)

She told me she was a Noahide!

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

She told me she was a Noahide!

No, that one is just one of Satan's minions.

 

[metis]

With all the crazy experiences (all basically good, mind you) that I have gone though over the last two years in this arena, I've also have reconnected with a limited form of theism that includes the Church. Long story, and I can give it to you, SF, or if anyone else is interested, but I don't have the time to do it today.

However, I do not want to take any attention away from SF and the OP, so I'm a bit leery of bringing myself into this picture. I just want you, SF, to know that you ain't the only one caught up in something that many others may not be able to relate to.

Bottom line: anyone who thought I was absolutely nuts will have their opinion confirmed.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

With all the crazy experiences (all basically good, mind you) that I have gone though over the last two years in this arena, I've also have reconnected with a limited form of theism that includes the Church. Long story, and I can give it to you, SF, or if anyone else is interested, but I don't have the time to do it today.

However, I do not want to take any attention away from SF and the OP, so I'm a bit leery of bringing myself into this picture. I just want you, SF, to know that you ain't the only one caught up in something that many others may not be able to relate to.

Bottom line: anyone who thought I was absolutely nuts will have their opinion confirmed.

Thanks. I'd love to hear your story sometime.

I do feel like I'm crazy at times with this spiritual indecision. I know people judge me for it. But it's something that I have to go through, it seems. I try to find religions that fit my mundane passions, it seems. But I don't end up happy in those. It's Christ I keep running from. I want to stop running but it scares me on some level as to what that would entail. It would be a major transformation in my life. I will have to become more conservative to adhere to the Church.

 

[metis]

Please write me a quick response to this post so I remember tomorrow, please. I got this age thingy going.

 

[Deidre]

I can relate

My heart pulls in Christianity's direction...not the religion itself, because I honestly think religions are man-made, but...Jesus. That's probably where you feel a sense of comfort.

It doesn't matter what others think, or if they judge your ''indecision.'' This is your life, your path, and you will find your way. Not all Christian churches have communion. When I was practicing, I went to a Baptist/non-denominational church, and there was no communion.

Hope you find peace wherever your journey leads.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

So I've decided to return to Christianity - or grapple with it once again, as it were. I have to start over with it since It's been years since I was truly devout. I feel like a baby Christian, which is wondrous yet scary. I'm not sure where this road will lead.

I don't know if I will return to the Catholic Church. I do believe that the Sacraments are eternally binding - an unreliable indelible mark on the soul and lean towards the Catholic Church being the one true Church.

However, I do wonder about my chances at finding a home in it by feeling welcomed. I'm a transsexual and that's very misunderstood. I could be committing sacrilege by taking Communion. That's a scary thought. I certmainly don't want to do that. I feel that I can't possibly detransition, either. I'm too far down the road for that. I just can't be a woman, psychologically. So this leaves me in quite the quandary.

I would have to leave behind many other sinful things I've polluted my mind and heart with, as well. That will also be quite the challenge. I will need to become truly born again.

God help me.

I know I mentioned a lot of advice to you before, so I'll keep it short. Take communion! Don't listen to all of that, *cough*, mess. Go to confession and (in my opinion) talk about your sins ... you don't have to talk about transgender because not everyone will understand it regardless of how much you try to explain it. It's one of those things that all of us-regardless of what letter we are-have to accept.

When you sin, it breaks you away from the body of christ which is the people. So when you confess, you are asking the people/the body to forgive you so you can be right with god again. Communion is the core of that.

So take communion. Jesus is concerned with your faith and heart. Male or woman. Jew or Gentile. (He never said gay or straight though. But that's a different story )

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I know I mentioned a lot of advice to you before, so I'll keep it short. Take communion! Don't listen to all of that, *cough*, mess. Go to confession and (in my opinion) talk about your sins ... you don't have to talk about transgender because not everyone will understand it regardless of how much you try to explain it. It's one of those things that all of us-regardless of what letter we are-have to accept.

When you sin, it breaks you away from the body of christ which is the people. So when you confess, you are asking the people/the body to forgive you so you can be right with god again. Communion is the core of that.

So take communion. Jesus is concerned with your faith and heart. Male or woman. Jew or Gentile. (He never said gay or straight though. But that's a different story )

Thanks. That gives me hope. I just wish I wasn't trans. That would make this easier. But I am and I've transitioned, and that's just something I need to accept and deal with. I hope I have not sinned in it but the Church doesn't seem to know how to deal with it at the moment, anyway.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I can relate

My heart pulls in Christianity's direction...not the religion itself, because I honestly think religions are man-made, but...Jesus. That's probably where you feel a sense of comfort.

It doesn't matter what others think, or if they judge your ''indecision.'' This is your life, your path, and you will find your way. Not all Christian churches have communion. When I was practicing, I went to a Baptist/non-denominational church, and there was no communion.

Hope you find peace wherever your journey leads.

Thanks. You are right that the judgements of others on my indecision doesn't really matter. It does feel a bit embarrassing but that's due to my own inner judgements. Something keeps pulling me towards Christ and I can't help it. I just feel so much shame about my mistakes and wondering away. But that's where repentance comes in. It's just a process that hurts at times.

In Catholicism and Orthodoxy, we have Confession so we have to make our mistakes known to another person. I have a lot of anxiety about that due to shame. But I know that shame is the first step to repentance.

I wish you blessings on your journey.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Thanks. That gives me hope. I just wish I wasn't trans. That would make this easier. But I am and I've transitioned, and that's just something I need to accept and deal with. I hope I have not sinned in it but the Church doesn't seem to know how to deal with it at the moment, anyway.

You're welcome.

I think of it this way. If I believed in god and didn't have issues with Church history and human sacrifice, I'd throw in the towel and say I am a gay Catholic.

Communion is about the people-the body of Christ. You guys don't all have to agree. Many people don't. But people come to the Eucharist from all walks of life, transgender, hunchback, I don't know, black as night, but the point is you coming together as a unit. The thing about the Church is, their written teachings can condemn someone to the grave. They have been there for yeaarrs. But when you have a relationship with the body of christ, saints, and Eucharist, the written stuff goes away.

I mean, I told one priest in my first confession to "don't tell me I have an illness, or i need to be cured, or anything." I said that upfront. (Sorry, not a humble Catholic, lol) and he was fine with that. Shocked but fine nonetheless.

It's the individual people's opinions, not the Church-people in communion.

It's not christ/eucharist. It's just people's sour opinions depending on their age. The Church has gone a long way of not killing people anymore.

But, honestly, the Church isn't about that. It just makes me mad that individual priest would say things that make the body feel they don't belong because of who they are.

But priests are human too.

One question I'd ask is, do you think god cares?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

You're welcome.

I think of it this way. If I believed in god and didn't have issues with Church history and human sacrifice, I'd throw in the towel and say I am a gay Catholic.

Communion is about the people-the body of Christ. You guys don't all have to agree. Many people don't. But people come to the Eucharist from all walks of life, transgender, hunchback, I don't know, black as night, but the point is you coming together as a unit. The thing about the Church is, their written teachings can condemn someone to the grave. They have been there for yeaarrs. But when you have a relationship with the body of christ, saints, and Eucharist, the written stuff goes away.

I mean, I told one priest in my first confession to "don't tell me I have an illness, or i need to be cured, or anything." I said that upfront. (Sorry, not a humble Catholic, lol) and he was fine with that. Shocked but fine nonetheless.

It's the individual people's opinions, not the Church-people in communion.

It's not christ/eucharist. It's just people's sour opinions depending on their age. The Church has gone a long way of not killing people anymore.

But, honestly, the Church isn't about that. It just makes me mad that individual priest would say things that make the body feel they don't belong because of who they are.

But priests are human too.

One question I'd ask is, do you think god cares?

Do I think God cares about me being a transsexual? No. I think He made me a man but I was born with a sort of birth defect. If it was a sin, He would've provided a way out of it. I don't think God wants His children to suffer. He's not sadistic. But there's no proof that people who are actually transsexual can just magically start to identify with their bodies. The only treatment that's known to work is to transition (hormones and/or surgery and social transition). It's not like with sexual issues where you can be celibate. People keep conflating being trans with being homosexual and they're not the same. I view being a transsexual as a medical issue (not a psychological or psychiatric one).

I don't even want to be trans. If I could choose, I'd just be a woman and not transition. But that's not my reality. You can't cure it with therapy, praying, psychiatric meds, shock therapy, etc. I think medicine is a good thing given to us by God to help us and that religion should stop ignoring that.

I like your attitude with the priest. Haha. Sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself. It is often people who block the progress of others towards God. That's what happens to me a lot. I let people get in the way of my relationship with God. But I have to keep in mind to forgive them. They are only human, after all.

 

[sun rise]

You will presumably be interested in this story Nun ministering to transgender women gets thumbs-up from Pope

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

You will presumably be interested in this story Nun ministering to transgender women gets thumbs-up from Pope

Thanks for sharing. It's people like that who give me hope. I hope I can meet kind souls like that in the Church.

 

[sun rise]

Here's another story from further back. If the Catholic Church truly followed the example of Pope Francis, it would be a wonderful thing.

Francis: Sexual morality determined case-by-case, even for transgender

 

[DavidFirth]

So I've decided to return to Christianity - or grapple with it once again, as it were. I have to start over with it since It's been years since I was truly devout. I feel like a baby Christian, which is wondrous yet scary. I'm not sure where this road will lead.

I don't know if I will return to the Catholic Church. I do believe that the Sacraments are eternally binding - an unreliable indelible mark on the soul and lean towards the Catholic Church being the one true Church.

However, I do wonder about my chances at finding a home in it by feeling welcomed. I'm a transsexual and that's very misunderstood. I could be committing sacrilege by taking Communion. That's a scary thought. I certmainly don't want to do that. I feel that I can't possibly detransition, either. I'm too far down the road for that. I just can't be a woman, psychologically. So this leaves me in quite the quandary.

I would have to leave behind many other sinful things I've polluted my mind and heart with, as well. That will also be quite the challenge. I will need to become truly born again.

God help me.

Angels are praising God in heaven! I'm so glad to hear this! Praise the Lord!

We all wonder away at one time or another. I know I have. But God is faithful even when I'm not.

 

[SomeRandom]

I hope your path brings you fulfillment in all things. Whatever makes you happiest, go there.

I don't mean to be rude, nor am I passing judgement, but there seems to be two facets of your personality that are drawn to very different things. Which is understandable. We are all complex human beings, with different parts of our personality all intertwined inside us. I have very different pulls myself.
These different parts of your personality might be why you're "indecisive." (Again, no judgement from me, I'm quite indecisive.)

I hope you can satisfy all facets of your being, in whatever path you choose.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I hope your path brings you fulfillment in all things. Whatever makes you happiest, go there.

I don't mean to be rude, nor am I passing judgement, but there seems to be two facets of your personality that are drawn to very different things. Which is understandable. We are all complex human beings, with different parts of our personality all intertwined inside us. I have very different pulls myself.
These different parts of your personality might be why you're "indecisive." (Again, no judgement from me, I'm quite indecisive.)

I hope you can satisfy all facets of your being, in whatever path you choose.

Thanks.

Yeah, I'm certainly a man of contradictions. I confuse myself. It might have to do with my Borderline Personality Disorder traits. One of the traits of it is not knowing who you are, as in your values. I often feel confused over what my core values are. I also have an addictive personality. There's a lot of mental health issues factoring in this.