Have any of your friendships changed, or ended because you went back to faith...or left it?

[Deidre]

Sadly, there is someone I have in mind who has treated me differently since I've come back to faith. Not in a bad way, but was very interested in the friendship, and then changed as the past few weeks have gone on. Hardly hear from them anymore, and the only thing that has changed is me coming back to Christianity.

My thought is, this person was never a true friend to begin with, so there's always that conclusion. But, it still hurts.

Have you ever been through something like that with a friendship? (over your faith or lack thereof, just basically changing your position, and then the friendship changed?)

 

[Deathbydefault]

I'm not really the type to make friends, but I did have a few before I hit double digits and came out as an atheist.
They stopped hanging out with me more due to their parents biased views than anything else.
Still stung a bit though.

 

[Deidre]

I'm not really the type to make friends, but I did have a few before I hit double digits and came out as an atheist.
They stopped hanging out with me more due to their parents biased views than anything else.
Still stung a bit though.

Yea, it does sting because you realize they never were a true friend to begin with. Oh well...
Thanks for sharing that.

You knew you were an atheist as a kid? That is interesting.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

In high school a few people I hung out with quit hanging out with me when I left Christianity, even going as far to call me "demonically possessed" because I converted to Wicca. When I was a kid my mom made me quit hanging out with one of my friends because he converted to Wicca.

 

[Deidre]

In high school a few people I hung out with quit hanging out with me when I left Christianity, even going as far to call me "demonically possessed" because I converted to Wicca. When I was a kid my mom made me quit hanging out with one of my friends because he converted to Wicca.

Aw, that sucks.

High school is when one would expect some of this to happen, as you're still trying to find yourself, etc. But, now as an adult, someone to change their treatment of me because I went back to faith, is just sadly surprising to me. It happened more so to me when I left Christianity and 'came out' as an atheist for a time.

Why do people care? lol

 

[Deathbydefault]

You knew you were an atheist as a kid? That is interesting.

I was something of an anti-Christian, due to my terrible fundie parents, from around age seven.
At the time Christianity was all that I knew existed.
Then I found the internet, and terms I could define myself as (along with many other religions and science).
I started calling myself an "atheist/apatheist" at age 11, I believe.

Twas an interesting development

 

[Deidre]

I was something of an anti-Christian, due to my terrible fundie parents, from around age seven.
At the time Christianity was all that I knew existed.
Then I found the internet, and terms I could define myself as (along with many other religions and science).
I started calling myself an "atheist/apatheist" at age 11, I believe.

Twas an interesting development

haha Yes, I imagine so

Well, staying true to one's self is good. I think that how we grow up, how religion/faith, etc is presented to us can often times turn us off, cause us to abandon it altogether.

 

[Deathbydefault]

haha Yes, I imagine so

Well, staying true to one's self is good. I think that how we grow up, how religion/faith, etc is presented to us can often times turn us off, cause us to abandon it altogether.

Agreed.

 

[Smart_Guy]

I like you, D. I'd never turn against you just because you changed your faith.

 

[Deathbydefault]

I like you, D. I'd never turn against you just because you changed your faith.

^This ^

 

[DawudTalut]

Sadly, there is someone I have in mind who has treated me differently since I've come back to faith. Not in a bad way, but was very interested in the friendship, and then changed as the past few weeks have gone on. Hardly hear from them anymore, and the only thing that has changed is me coming back to Christianity.

My thought is, this person was never a true friend to begin with, so there's always that conclusion. But, it still hurts.

Have you ever been through something like that with a friendship? (over your faith or lack thereof, just basically changing your position, and then the friendship changed?)

Peace be on you....I know people when they became Ahmadiyya Muslims, they faced lot of troubles with families, but with time, prayers and efforts worked and families too joined in. May real happiness come to you.

 

[Deidre]

I like you, D. I'd never turn against you just because you changed your faith.

That's because you are awesome

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Not with anyone that mattered, no. I still have a ton of Satanists on my FB friends list and more trying to add me all the time. Wtf. Lol.

 

[Mackerni]

Nobody quite has any understanding of what I believe in. I've gotten into physical and verbal fights with multiple people over what I believe. You could call me stubborn. All I know is that ever since I've believed in pan-apotheosis I see what reality is without going into nihilism.

 

[picnic]

I've been irreligious and agnostic most of my adult life, but a few years ago I began to believe in Christianity and attend church and pray. As a result, I lost one of my best friends who I had known for 20 years from college days. I don't know for certain that this is why our friendship withered, but I did make a few timid attempts to mention that I believed in Christianity now. I think he must have decided that I was getting too weird. It hurt my feelings, but I also did not want to be a pest if he no longer felt a connection. He was a good friend for many years and I respect his right to move on without me.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Sadly, there is someone I have in mind who has treated me differently since I've come back to faith. Not in a bad way, but was very interested in the friendship, and then changed as the past few weeks have gone on. Hardly hear from them anymore, and the only thing that has changed is me coming back to Christianity.

My thought is, this person was never a true friend to begin with, so there's always that conclusion. But, it still hurts.

Have you ever been through something like that with a friendship? (over your faith or lack thereof, just basically changing your position, and then the friendship changed?)

I have the opposite. I dont know which would hurt most, though. I have a best friend with whom I told her I have pagan values and practice witchcraft which she is totally against, and yet still is my friend. She completely disagrees (to the extent of insulting me rather than mutual disagreement) with my sexual orientation saying that (as she is Catholic), I should be single... she called my "lifestyle" a problem coming from family rather than something we are born with. Her family dislikes me. Yet, she says she is my friend. I dont know if its superficial or not, sometimes. I mean, I disagree with a lot of what Catholicim teaches gradually, but I never insult her and her faith to her.

If she left me as a friend, I would be hurt and I find that may be the best for her if she decides to as that is her mindset. I dont agree with leaving friendships because of anything, religion included. Only if not abusive.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Sadly, there is someone I have in mind who has treated me differently since I've come back to faith. Not in a bad way, but was very interested in the friendship, and then changed as the past few weeks have gone on. Hardly hear from them anymore, and the only thing that has changed is me coming back to Christianity.

My thought is, this person was never a true friend to begin with, so there's always that conclusion. But, it still hurts.

Have you ever been through something like that with a friendship? (over your faith or lack thereof, just basically changing your position, and then the friendship changed?)

When I got married for the first time, I considered myself an agnostic. I wasn't religious myself, but open to exploring religion. My then-wife was Catholic.

She wanted me to become Catholic myself, so I started exploring the religion to see if it was something I could accept.

My exploration ended up pushing me away from Catholicism instead of bringing me closer to it. When I realized that I had to stop going to Mass to honour my promise (since going to Mass was pushing me further and further away from the Church), I also realized that there wasn't any realistic hope of me ever becoming Catholic.

That was a major factor in our divorce. Not the only one to be sure, but definitely significant.

 

[Quintessence]

Nope. I've got nothing. Nobody seems to care (or cared) that I went Pagan. I neither hide that fact, nor do I shove it in people's faces. Mostly, I think people interpret the more obvious signs of my religiosity simply as environmentalism and as a sign of my interest in biology and the natural world in general. Heh.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Why do people care? lol

Because religion matters to people?

Personally, when someone makes a big, public declaration of their conversion to a new religion, I take this as their way of saying not just "I'm a _____", but also "being a _____ is so important to me as a person that I couldn't bear to not be and identify as a ______ any longer." I expect that this sort of religion will be expressed through a person's attitudes and actions.

What that expression entails will depend on the specifics of the person's belief, but if your internal change is significant - and if your new religion is important and meaningful, why wouldn't it be? - then I think it's expected that people will respond differently to you.

 

[StarryNightshade]

I actually risk alienating one of my closest friends of 7 years if I come out as religious. We agree on many things, but religion isn't one of them. He equates everything with Southern Baptist Christianity.

So many people say "If he was your friend, he wouldn't care" or "you shouldn't care if he dumps you because of your faith". Those are easier said than done, as we've both invested so much time into our friendship and it's actually hard for me to develop close relationships with anyone.