Have I done the right thing?

[3.14]

wel as it seems to me he is displaying the same behavior as a child (clamping on to those who give him attention, expecting others to take care of him)

and you seem to be falling into the maternal role (wanting to take care of him, feeling like a "bad mother/friend" for not being able to help him)

though it is obvius that you should not get to deeply involved i would recommend checking in one's a while, just to put your own mind at ease

 

[Truth_Faith13]

wel as it seems to me he is displaying the same behavior as a child (clamping on to those who give him attention, expecting others to take care of him)

and you seem to be falling into the maternal role (wanting to take care of him, feeling like a "bad mother/friend" for not being able to help him)

though it is obvius that you should not get to deeply involved i would recommend checking in one's a while, just to put your own mind at ease

I have decided to back off....I am deeply concerned for his safety, but I cant take it anymore. I spoke to my Bishop last night...of which I am very grateful for him meeting me so late at the chapel. At least other people are now aware of the struggles!

The text I recieved off him yesterday was the last straw. I had spent a couple of hours prior explaining to him about how everyone is lonely, try to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, dont jump at every girl you see etc etc. He knows I am not (and have never been) interested in a relationship...yet what does he do, after all that?

There is no point me even wasting my time speaking to him anymore...he doesnt listen...maybe its his disability affecting his cognitive ability or maybe its him just being stupid, I dont know, I cant tell...

The one thing I do know is that I have had enough!

 

[themadhair]

Have you contacted his doctor?

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Have you contacted his doctor?

I dont know who his Doctor is..

One of the members mentioned getting social services involved maybe!

 

[themadhair]

One of the members mentioned getting social services involved maybe!

Do that.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Do that.

Im not doing anything anymore...I am backing off....its up to him and them...

Ill check back in on him though, I am not that mean..

I do feel bad for backing off for a bit, but I need to...and I think its best for him as well as he has become too attached to me.

 

[themadhair]

I don’t want to be blunt about this, but your friend needs a professional trained in psychology and social care. Theological counselling really shouldn’t be the first priority here.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

I don’t want to be blunt about this, but your friend needs a professional trained in psychology and social care. Theological counselling really shouldn’t be the first priority here.

I agree with you...but the other members of the church are just as capable to get social services involved as I am and they understand that it isnt theological support he needs at the moment, it is actual social support.

 

[FFH]

I agree with you...but the other members of the church are just as capable to get social services involved as I am and they understand that it isnt theological support he needs at the moment, it is actual social support.

I just had a dream last night, there was this guy in one of my past wards who had a muscular disease, he was in a wheelchair, could not speak very well/fast, could not walk, could not use his arms and hands very well at all.

He was getting worse and worse.

I decided to talk to him, befriend him, he started to improve. I left that ward years ago.

just last night in a dream I saw that he was able to talk normally, move normally, he was still in a wheelchair but was IMPROVING, BECOMING NORMAL.

The key was that I had just talked to him, befriended him, that's what helped him improve.

Society wants to turn such people over to state care, that will only set them into a further spiral down hill progression.

Don't ever let that happen to your friend.

Remember it's JESUS that we are ministering too, when we visit the sick and afflicted.

This is PURE religion. Forget about church for now, minister to your friend, then bring him to church with you.

Show your ward what REAL religion is all about.

 

[lunamoth]

Hi DA,

I think you are doing the right thing backing off from this situation for now. I hate to say it but it sounds like your friend is trying to manipulate you. It is probably not even intentional on his part, but he is trying to make his problems your problems...and they are not.

He definitely needs to be put into contact with Public Services/Human Services/Social Services. That in itself can be a quagmire, and it is up to him to take responsibility himself. Unfortunately in our societies today it is very hard to help people who do not want help, or are unable to choose it for themselves (such as due to mental illnesses). If he does not agree to get public assistance when he has no food in the house, then it is his choice. Not your fault.

Best wishes,
luna