Hedonism is based in the unconscious mind and deals with the games of seduction and intimidations. You may not realize that is how you are steering through your life because it is not conscious
Stoicism is based in the conscious mind, and utilizes healthy communication strategies. This way of living is potent and supports win/win negotiations in all areas of life
my question is how do you find balance between these two concepts?
Well according to my understanding
hedonism is pleasure seeking
stoicism is quality or behavior of a person who accepts what happens without complaining or showing emotion (one defintion include the term pain)
I was thinking of how most people will say something along the lines that: to understand love you must go thru pain. would you agree?
Just about all philosophies seek pleasure, but they seek it in different ways. There are various things that one can do or think to influence the brain to produce positive states of mind. In the end, I think it's all hedonism to some degree or another.
Stoicism is more complicated than just accepting whatever happens. For example, the Stoics are some of the biggest proponents of suicide in cases where life is intolerable for one reason or another, both in theory and in practice. They did not fear death, and so in the case where a person could no longer live a virtuous or meaningful or joyful life, suicide was considered a rational solution by the Stoics. They did not dispassionately accept all life circumstances, or see a reason to.
The founder of Stoicism, Zeno, was written to have committed suicide by supposedly holding his breath after falling and breaking his toe.
His pupil and the second Stoic leader Cleanthes had a dangerous ulcer, so he decided to fast himself to death due to reasoning that he was close to it already.
Cato the Roman Stoic killed himself by stabbing himself and then ripping his bowels out, because he concluded it was intolerable to live in a world where Julius was Caesar.
Epictetus, who wrote most of the surviving Stoic writings, was a proponent of suicide in the above-described cases where life is viewed as intolerable.
Seneca, who was known as a rather hedonist Stoic, killed himself because emperor Nero ordered him to due to belief of a conspiracy. So Seneca cut his own veins, but bled out slowly due to poor blood circulation, so he bathed in warm water to quicken his death and reduce his suffering.
Marcus Aurelius the Stoic Emperor didn't kill himself but instead just did a lot of opium.