Help to feel Anger?

[Electra]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I have this problem. With me, it's caused by emotional invalidation. You have to accept your emotions as valid and not bottle them up. I'm currently in DBT therapy for it and it's helped.

 

[Fool]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

you can still love someone and feel anger towards them because they have wronged someone. being disappointed in someone is acceptable; when their behavior is not loving. Love doesn't make a difference between two people, nor is it depraved indifference when a wrong occurs. jesus was angry with the moneylenders and those buying and selling in the outer court.

when anger turns to hatred that is a different matter. hatred is usually a learned behavior.

forgiving is not about forgetting. forgiving is for the person wronged. the person who commits the wrong is still liable for their actions. they must repent, or have their actions curtailed by isolating them, or stopped.

condoning, or ignoring, bad behavior is complicit to a wrong.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

Like nature in the ooen, anger is just a storm of the mind that rises and passes.

There's really nothing to prove or gain other than prolonging the durations if dwelling on the effects persists. Nobody will notice these instances once passed on. When storms are gone they are gone.

 

[Brickjectivity]

There's no one-size-fits-all answer. Imagine if a stranger asked you this question. There are too many personal unknowns. I would not even know whether to advise anything. I just have no idea.

 

[Willamena]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

No, you don't.

 

[Skwim]

[

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

Then you're probably looking to keep either their friendship, love, or approval. So much so that you're bending over backwards to get it.

STOP! ​

You'll appreciate yourself more as will those around you when you stop depending on others for validation. If people do bad things to you then let them know so, and in no uncertain terms. Or else abandon them. And if they don't like it then they're not worth having around. Get strong and stay strong.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

Then let them know they've hurt you and that you're not going to take it anymore. The next step will be theirs, which will let you know how much they want to be connected to you. .

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Don't kid yourself, resentment is quite normal, and nice when there's good reason for it. Why shouldn't you resent people that hurt you? You should. Everybody should.

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

Not talking physical hurt here, but if they're hurt by you standing up for yourself then that's their problem to deal with. You have no obligation to help them get through life at your expense.

.

 

[Terese]

Feeling resentment is awful, why would you stab yourself in the knee by wanting to get angry? That's doubly worse.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

Yes, around when i was 13-15 i was feeling the same thing, that i thought getting angry could potentially solve the bad things people have done to me. Fortunately, i did not go with that plan. I just forgot about the things people did to me and moved on. Now, i would forgive and forget. Using anger as a tool is very unreliable.

 

[Electra]

Feeling resentment is awful, why would you stab yourself in the knee by wanting to get angry? That's doubly worse.


Yes, around when i was 13-15 i was feeling the same thing, that i thought getting angry could potentially solve the bad things people have done to me. Fortunately, i did not go with that plan. I just forgot about the things people did to me and moved on. Now, i would forgive and forget. Using anger as a tool is very unreliable.

Because I am mentally angry but I can not feel it so it is a bit stuck ...

Yea, I guess I will be patient with myself (lesson of my year), until more of the situation is sorted out, I feel some answers will be given soon wich will help validate it all. At the moment I can not share the most of it with anyone so it is hurting me.

 

[BSM1]

Anger never hurts the person it's directed at. Learn to love and respect yourself and you'll find anger and the people who try to make you angry became highly insignificant.

 

[Shiranui117]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

Go work in a grocery store. You'll start feeling angry real quick.

Buuut if you have a better job than that, I would suggest imagining a conversation with the person and tell them exactly what you think of them. It might work. Just don't get stuck in a loop where you just keep picturing that person and all the what-for you would totally give them. That happens to me a LOT, let me tell you.

If you have the luxury of still having these people in your life, I would suggest calling them out next time they do something bad to you, and also bring up your past grievances with them. Be honest with your feelings. If they get all huffy and decide to part ways, then good riddance to them.

If they're no longer a part of your life and you still have this resentment, then express it with finality. Write a letter to them and then burn it, and let the anger burn away in the flames. Or something like that.

 

[Electra]

Go work in a grocery store. You'll start feeling angry real quick.

Buuut if you have a better job than that, I would suggest imagining a conversation with the person and tell them exactly what you think of them. It might work. Just don't get stuck in a loop where you just keep picturing that person and all the what-for you would totally give them. That happens to me a LOT, let me tell you.

If you have the luxury of still having these people in your life, I would suggest calling them out next time they do something bad to you, and also bring up your past grievances with them. Be honest with your feelings. If they get all huffy and decide to part ways, then good riddance to them.

If they're no longer a part of your life and you still have this resentment, then express it with finality. Write a letter to them and then burn it, and let the anger burn away in the flames. Or something like that.

I did once and I loved it, exept trying to pull ciggies, I can not recall the alphabet so was relying on photo memory, or doing my abc from the start, but that was more frustration at myself baha

I can not talk to them about what happened as I am living with the main two that have defiled me and that would make life harder, there is a lot more people in the game but I hold them responsible mostly (which I can see is un reasonably now).

yes, I have been thinking about burning something soon, I shall do this. I shall do some gibberish meditation.

& I guess I felt the Anger deserves to be expressed. I can really see how these issues has benefited my life path. Maybe I can get past this sticky spot by working on loosing the resentment & in future when I can sort it all out, the anger will come ...

patience. I just wanna be balanced... *humf*

 

[Electra]

Thank you everyone. It is nice to be able to air out some words in the open, rather then mulling it to myself.

<3<3

 

[Electra]

Anger never hurts the person it's directed at. Learn to love and respect yourself and you'll find anger and the people who try to make you angry became highly insignificant.

So true!

 

[Corvus]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

Why forgive them? If someone deliberately and willfully causes me serious harm, I simply never speak to them again.They are dead to me.

 

[SabahTheLoner]

Certain people have done very bad things to me, but I end up forgiving them and love them just as they did nothing.

I feel that I need to express my Anger in some way?

As I am feeling resentment, which is not nice.

Has anyone had this issue before? any tips?

I think part of me doesn't want to feel it because I am scared I will not be able to control it/hurt someone,

I just make art and put my emotion in it. Sometimes it's just literally streaks of paint with fingerprints in it.

Also try apathy. I've had people done really rude, pathetically unjustified things to me and I had to learn to decide that I just don't care about them anymore. Besides hate and love are both obsessions, in a way. Instead of being the opposite form of obsession, just don't be obsessed. Focus on other things and the anger will seem insignificant, maybe even silly.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Your problem isn't anger, it's fear. Being angry won't help that. You need to figure out a way to stop letting fear make all your decisions.

 

[The Holy Bottom Burp]

I'm not going to give you advice, as you've had plenty already! I try to control my anger, and if someone has made me angry then I'll let them know that, but not by screaming and shouting at them. If they don't care that they have made me angry then I'll have little or nothing to do with that person in the future. Why hang around with d*ck heads?

I would say that release of emotion is a good and healthy thing, the worst thing is to let it dwell inside, it eats you up and makes you mad otherwise. I like to go to the gym to let out any anger or frustration, very therapeutic I find, and on the other side I find yoga gives me a chance for quiet and peaceful reflection. In today's world I find I rarely stop for quiet reflection, so yoga is great for that and has made me a more peaceful person.

 

[Brickjectivity]

I did once and I loved it, exept trying to pull ciggies, I can not recall the alphabet so was relying on photo memory, or doing my abc from the start, but that was more frustration at myself baha

I can not talk to them about what happened as I am living with the main two that have defiled me and that would make life harder, there is a lot more people in the game but I hold them responsible mostly (which I can see is un reasonably now).

yes, I have been thinking about burning something soon, I shall do this. I shall do some gibberish meditation.

& I guess I felt the Anger deserves to be expressed. I can really see how these issues has benefited my life path. Maybe I can get past this sticky spot by working on loosing the resentment & in future when I can sort it all out, the anger will come ...

patience. I just wanna be balanced... *humf*

Its possible you have imagined the offenses against you as you have not openly dealt with them. This happens *All the time*, and real or imagined such 'Defilements' are unacceptable and not easy (or perhaps impossible) to forgive. I wouldn't know if they are forgiveable, but you may find that they are. There are mental issues that you may have, but I am not a doctor. See a trained, peer reviewed, clinical psychologist. Lots of people imagine things that have not happened, so what am I supposed to advise you to do except go see a doctor to make sure you aren't having mental problems.

Try to get out of your situation, I guess. Real or imagined its not healthy to live with people who are hurting you, nor is it healthy to be a living punching bag, nor do I believe you can forgive endlessly.

Here's a useful video about integrating the Shadow Self and why its important not to ignore your own resentment. This is not medical advice. Its just a fellow making a point about human nature which I happen to agree with:

 

[Brickjectivity]

Another thing you can do is to contact the authorities. Depending upon what country or state you live in, there will be some agency or charitable institution that provides sanctuary for you if you feel you are in danger, which you apparently do. Where I live, you could call the police and ask for information about who to talk to or a licensed social worker or the Red Cross. The Red Cross is generally a good place to get information about all kinds of needs, and the fact is you have a need. You sound like you need sanctuary and to get away from this...whatever it is.

I have heard that you can walk into a church and ask for santuary, too; and many ministers are licensed and trained to be able to handle circumstances and provide you with information. Sorry I cannot confirm this.