Help with Atheist

[Andal]

Vanakkam My Dharma Family,

I am in need of advice. I come from a family of very mixed religious background. In fact we do not have one unifying family tradition. For the most part this has been a blessing in that most of my family has been very accepting of me being Hindu ( at least on my mother's side. My parents have been divorced since I was a young teen and my relationship with my father is tenuous at best.) Anyway, my older brother is a staunch atheist. He is an m.d., which doesn't phase me having gone through a doctoral program myself but tonight we got into a big fight over the existence of God. I pretty much said that I'm not in the converting business and I find a deep meaning in believing in God and having a relationship with Him and I recognize that that is not for everyone and I simply want the peace to go about my life finding fulfillment in Sanatana Dharma. He then went on to tell me it was his moral obligation to change the minds of everyone and make them believe his atheism because that is truth and anything else stops the development of science and society.

Even with my academic background in anthropology he was not willing to accept my view which is fine. I only want to be left in peace to believe and practice as I see fit. His constant onslaught of anti-Hindu/ God beliefs have been very troubling to me. he is my brother and I love him and I am at a loss. I know I can't make him accept my views and I don't want to. I just want to have a relationship with him and be left in peace about my religious views.

I'm hurt with our exchange this evening. In some ways it has really reinforced my faith and yet it hurts to have someone so close being so negative. What's worse is I live with my family and when he is in town he stays in the room with my shrine and I'm worried his negative view is going to energetically impact my shrine. This is especially true since i'm out of town a lot when he's here.

Please any words of wisdom or advice about how to feel or respond to this situation is greatly appreciated! Also I can't move my mandapam right now, is there any way to safe guard it against such negativity?

Thank you and Aum Hari Aum!

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Vanakkam My Dharma Family,

I am in need of advice. I come from a family of very mixed religious background. In fact we do not have one unifying family tradition. For the most part this has been a blessing in that most of my family has been very accepting of me being Hindu ( at least on my mother's side. My parents have been divorced since I was a young teen and my relationship with my father is tenuous at best.) Anyway, my older brother is a staunch atheist. He is an m.d., which doesn't phase me having gone through a doctoral program myself but tonight we got into a big fight over the existence of God. I pretty much said that I'm not in the converting business and I find a deep meaning in believing in God and having a relationship with Him and I recognize that that is not for everyone and I simply want the peace to go about my life finding fulfillment in Sanatana Dharma. He then went on to tell me it was his moral obligation to change the minds of everyone and make them believe his atheism because that is truth and anything else stops the development of science and society.

Even with my academic background in anthropology he was not willing to accept my view which is fine. I only want to be left in peace to believe and practice as I see fit. His constant onslaught of anti-Hindu/ God beliefs have been very troubling to me. he is my brother and I love him and I am at a loss. I know I can't make him accept my views and I don't want to. I just want to have a relationship with him and be left in peace about my religious views.

I'm hurt with our exchange this evening. In some ways it has really reinforced my faith and yet it hurts to have someone so close being so negative. What's worse is I live with my family and when he is in town he stays in the room with my shrine and I'm worried his negative view is going to energetically impact my shrine. This is especially true since i'm out of town a lot when he's here.

Please any words of wisdom or advice about how to feel or respond to this situation is greatly appreciated! Also I can't move my mandapam right now, is there any way to safe guard it against such negativity?

Thank you and Aum Hari Aum!

First, I would say to your Atheist brother what I said to my Atheist family when I emerged from the 'Hindu Closet'....'Hinduism (the practice of), makes me very happy, peaceful and content. I thought you always wanted me to be that way...what, would you like me to go back to chewing your heads off over every little dang thing? I was hoping you'd all be happy for me...alas, I hoped wrong, so what is it they say...you can choose your friends, but not your relatives? You know where I live if you need to talk...bye..'

Now, they leave me alone to do my 'own thing' and never raise the subject, ever!

How did I protect my shrine? with Shiva Kavacham.

Om Namah Shivay

 

[Rohit Adhikarla]

Vanakkam My Dharma Family,

I am in need of advice. I come from a family of very mixed religious background. In fact we do not have one unifying family tradition. For the most part this has been a blessing in that most of my family has been very accepting of me being Hindu ( at least on my mother's side. My parents have been divorced since I was a young teen and my relationship with my father is tenuous at best.) Anyway, my older brother is a staunch atheist. He is an m.d., which doesn't phase me having gone through a doctoral program myself but tonight we got into a big fight over the existence of God. I pretty much said that I'm not in the converting business and I find a deep meaning in believing in God and having a relationship with Him and I recognize that that is not for everyone and I simply want the peace to go about my life finding fulfillment in Sanatana Dharma. He then went on to tell me it was his moral obligation to change the minds of everyone and make them believe his atheism because that is truth and anything else stops the development of science and society.

Even with my academic background in anthropology he was not willing to accept my view which is fine. I only want to be left in peace to believe and practice as I see fit. His constant onslaught of anti-Hindu/ God beliefs have been very troubling to me. he is my brother and I love him and I am at a loss. I know I can't make him accept my views and I don't want to. I just want to have a relationship with him and be left in peace about my religious views.

I'm hurt with our exchange this evening. In some ways it has really reinforced my faith and yet it hurts to have someone so close being so negative. What's worse is I live with my family and when he is in town he stays in the room with my shrine and I'm worried his negative view is going to energetically impact my shrine. This is especially true since i'm out of town a lot when he's here.

Please any words of wisdom or advice about how to feel or respond to this situation is greatly appreciated! Also I can't move my mandapam right now, is there any way to safe guard it against such negativity?

Thank you and Aum Hari Aum!

Depends on nature of his overall character.Is he is a stubborn dude otherwise.I usually have problem with militant theists and militant atheist.

Ask him to read this:
Beyond atheism and theism: a story told by Maha yogi Satyandar Nath

 

[Andal]

First, I would say to your Atheist brother what I said to my Atheist family when I emerged from the 'Hindu Closet'....'Hinduism (the practice of), makes me very happy, peaceful and content. I thought you always wanted me to be that way...what, would you like me to go back to chewing your heads off over every little dang thing? I was hoping you'd all be happy for me...alas, I hoped wrong, so what is it they say...you can choose your friends, but not your relatives? You know where I live if you need to talk...bye..'

Now, they leave me alone to do my 'own thing' and never raise the subject, ever!

How did I protect my shrine? with Shiva Kavacham.

Om Namah Shivay

Vanakkam!

Thank you so much for the response . I tried to them "it makes me happy and peaceful" approach and was told that it doesn't matter because I'm a part of the problem then.. whatever that is....

Thank you so much for the Kevaacham recommendation. It's one of my favs and will use it!

Aum Hari Aum!

 

[Andal]

Depends on nature of his overall character.Is he is a stubborn dude otherwise.I usually have problem with militant theists and militant atheist.

Ask him to read this:
Beyond atheism and theism: a story told by Maha yogi Satyandar Nath

Vanakkam,

He is militant atheism... like total hard liner. I will read and pass on Thank you!

Aum Hari Aum!

 

[Rohit Adhikarla]

Vanakkam,

He is militant atheism... like total hard liner. I will read and pass on Thank you!

Aum Hari Aum!

Some suggestions.Not sure if it might work.
Don't act like a theist and use dharmic vocabulary in front him.Also don't forcibly involve him in any religious activity.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Vanakkam!

Thank you so much for the response . I tried to them "it makes me happy and peaceful" approach and was told that it doesn't matter because I'm a part of the problem then.. whatever that is....

Thank you so much for the Kevaacham recommendation. It's one of my favs and will use it!

Aum Hari Aum!

The first thing you need to reconcile within yourself, is that there's no the problem, it's only their problem.

I have also and often been told; 'if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem' when I fail to even see what the 'problem' or 'solution' even is.

Even so, one must fully understand the 'solution' before they can see anything that is, in any way, contradictory to it...a.k.a 'problem'.

Sometimes, when one has tried every other approach and failed miserably, nothing beats the good-old 'mind-fog', but the relative has gotta be pretty darn stubborn and annoying for you to even attempt it...it's also a great tests of your powers of humility to be able to say 'yeah, you are right, you know...' but continue on doing whatever it is you are doing anyway.

Eventually they will realise they are only 'wasting their time' and will leave you alone anyway...

I wrote the book on getting people to leave me alone...

Om Namah Shivaya

 

[Sb1995]

Lol just slap him and tell him to not discuss religion with you

 

[Rohit Adhikarla]

Lol just slap him and tell him to not discuss religion with you

Just don't bother him.why slap like a kid.

 

[Aupmanyav]

He then went on to tell me it was his moral obligation to change the minds of everyone and make them believe his atheism because that is truth and anything else stops the development of science and society.

What else is his 'moral obligation'? To beat people who are not atheists or to kill them? Yes, it is important not to stop the development of science and society, but how does theism is supposed to do that? Theism should not be equated with other superstitions. Most of our scientists are theists. A militant atheist, at times I was that, but I learnt better later. Perhaps your brother also will learn it one day.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Lol just slap him and tell him to not discuss religion with you

He is the elder brother. Bharata or Lakshmana look only at the feet of their elder brother.

 

[Sb1995]

He is the elder brother. Bharata or Lakshmana look only at the feet of their elder brother.

Vaha Bhagawan mem visvasa nahim karate to aike thuper marana vaise bhi

 

[Aupmanyav]

I am an atheist, but I have not severed my links with Hindu philosophy, mythology, or culture. They are important to me, they are my guides. I am an atheist Advaitist Hindu.

 

[Sb1995]

I am an atheist, but I have not severed my links with Hindu philosophy, mythology, or culture. They are important to me, they are my guides. I am an atheist Advaitist Hindu.

Ap Hindi nahim bola sakate haim?

-Also regarding the original post, If I were you I'd definitely be concerned having someone with such negative thoughts living in the room where my shrine is. I wouldn't want any bad vibes spreading to the alter so I'd be very cautious if it was me. Could you move it to where you sleep or switch rooms for the meanwhile?

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram andal ji :namaste

Vanakkam My Dharma Family,

I am in need of advice. I come from a family of very mixed religious background. In fact we do not have one unifying family tradition. For the most part this has been a blessing in that most of my family has been very accepting of me being Hindu ......
..... He then went on to tell me it was his moral obligation to change the minds of everyone and make them believe his atheism because that is truth and anything else stops the development of science and society.

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing such difficulties ...

from what you say you are dealing with a man who has great inteligence in his feild ...yet as this is his chosen feild within the material sphere he has become expert in this one feild only and has neglected to develop his humanity ....

... firstly it is not his fault , it is the way the material world encourages its adherents towards arogance ....

if I had to deal with this , ..I think my choice would be to treat him with great kindness and firmness , ....

first I would accknowledge that I accept and appreciate he is a very learned man in his feild but then I would use polite but firm speach to remind him that this behavior is bullying and that bullying is not an acceptable form of behavior , especialy from an inteligent man .

further more it it is unfair on ones parents to bring this kind of argument into the family home ..

Even with my academic background in anthropology he was not willing to accept my view which is fine. I only want to be left in peace to believe and practice as I see fit. His constant onslaught of anti-Hindu/ God beliefs have been very troubling to me. he is my brother and I love him and I am at a loss. I know I can't make him accept my views and I don't want to. I just want to have a relationship with him and be left in peace about my religious views.

dont get drawn into discussion on the issue , it sounds as if it is a no win situation . and unfortunately disscuss it will just exacerbate the situation .

I'm hurt with our exchange this evening. In some ways it has really reinforced my faith and yet it hurts to have someone so close being so negative. What's worse is I live with my family and when he is in town he stays in the room with my shrine and I'm worried his negative view is going to energetically impact my shrine. This is especially true since i'm out of town a lot when he's here.

I am a little worried that this behavior is wearing you down , but you say that it also helps depen your faith which is good , but do not worry about your shrine his energy is nothing that your deities canot deal with , ...one suggestion which may be completely impractical , ..is either to put your deitys to rest when he comes , prehaps take them to your room , or even offer him your room when he comes to stay ? ..even if none of these are practical do not worry ....his being in the presence of your shrine canot create any lasting negative energy , the real affect of his negativity is on you , so here you must be strong and just not accept it .

silently forgive his actions , but do not take it on , the less you discuss it with him the better , be sure of your self and be firm (firm with loving kindness)

If the worst comes to the worst and he persists , please remind him that this is the family home and he should not bring disschord to it for the sake of your parents .

all blessings to you , but do not worry Krsna will carry you through ...

Aum Hari Aum!

jai jai , aum hari aum :namaste

 

[Aupmanyav]

Ap Hindi nahim bola sakate haim?

- Also regarding the original post, If I were you I'd definitely be concerned having someone with such negative thoughts living in the room where my shrine is. I wouldn't want any bad vibes spreading to the alter so I'd be very cautious if it was me. Could you move it to where you sleep or switch rooms for the meanwhile?

Ji, Hindi achhi janata hun, Urdu ko pyar karta hun. What negative thoughts have you observed in my posts?

 

[Sb1995]

Ji, Hindi achhi janata hun, Urdu ko pyar karta hun. What negative thoughts have you observed in my posts?

Urdu? aap pakistani haim? bakavas banda karo yaar. The negative thoughts part was for the creator of this thread

 

[Vinayaka]

Andal, I have an atheist brother as well. He has no clue about Hinduism, and judges me on the basis of his interactions with people of other faiths who proseletyse incessantly at him. He's concluded wrongly that I will too, if given the chance, so he goes after me before I even get the chance to speak.

so.... for all intents and purposes, out relationship as brother/brother is over. He's just another acquaintance. Not sure if that would work for you. My take is that no arguing is better than arguing.

But looking deeper, at the root of the problem, he's afraid. He's afraid something might take him out of his safety zone, his security blanket, his ego, his comfort ... atheism.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Urdu? aap pakistani haim? bakavas banda karo yaar. The negative thoughts part was for the creator of this thread

1. Do only Pakistanis love Urdu? It is a beautiful language, rich in poetry. It is very civil. There are many Urdu poets in India. It is one of the national languages of India. There are millions of speakers of Urdu in India. India, perhaps has more speakers of Urdu than in Pakistan.
2. It is not civil to use the word 'bakwas' (trash) for what someone says. First get to know what he/she means. 'Aap ka yeh kehna shayad theek nahin hai' (Perhaps what you said is not correct). This is a more civil response.
3. To close - Band - in normal romanization of Hindi into English does not need an 'a' at the end, since 'banda' means a person in Urdu and Punjabi. There was an 'a' problem in your previous post also.

'nahim bola sakate' - 'm' is a typo. It should have been 'nahin'. The two colored 'a' are not correct.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Andal, I have an atheist brother as well. He has no clue about Hinduism, and judges me on the basis of his interactions with people of other faiths who proseletyse incessantly at him. He's concluded wrongly that I will too, if given the chance, so he goes after me before I even get the chance to speak.

so.... for all intents and purposes, out relationship as brother/brother is over. He's just another acquaintance. Not sure if that would work for you. My take is that no arguing is better than arguing.

But looking deeper, at the root of the problem, he's afraid. He's afraid something might take him out of his safety zone, his security blanket, his ego, his comfort ... atheism.

Precisely!

Love my family as much as I do, Siva will always come first and they must understand that.

I had a similar circumstance with my eldest daughter...she couldn't accept me for 'who I am'....always wanting to 'change me'. I was prepared to compromise out of love, but when does that mean losing who I am just to become somebody I am not just to please another? Where does the selfishness end and the selflessness begin?

In the end, lesson or not, I decided it was too much for her to insist anyway. We haven't spoken in a few years now, but I will not be 'held to ransom' for my beliefs either...it's just not fair.

In the end, Atheism itself becomes their 'God' and you just have to say 'to each his own' and agree to disagree like brothers and shake on it. You have done everything possible to politely extricate yourself from the situation.

If he still wants to be a jerk about it, I would seriously be reconsidering my relationship with him. Sometimes, painful cuts need to be made if they are interferring with your spiritual progress....sacrifices must be made, no matter how deep.

Om Namah Shivay