JadeAngel
New Member
I am a Christian Believer and have been most of my life. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but my family claimed the Baptist faith. I grew up going to a Baptist church off and on most of my life, beginning with my grandparents. We all rode on a church bus which came through our neigborhood to pick up kids mainly. My grandparents never drove a car so they rode the bus to.
Me and my family have always been kinda like an outcast family, nobody wanted us in their neighborhoods, nobody wanted us playing with their children. So at church it was kinda different, and we were accepted in with the Afican American kids. My grandpa was a dark man, whom nobody ever knew or questioned him about his exact race, so we never got to know. Our grandpa wasn't the nice and gentle kinda man, he was mean and never wanted kids anywhere near him to bother him at all. Out grandma, who was Scots/Irish never went against our grandpa and always tried to make us kids be quiet and not disterb grandpa.
We grew up in this way. Our mom was very abusive, and our dad was alcaholic and detached from us. So I, who was the oldest, ran away from home a lot, starting when I was 11, till about 14. Then my parents just let me go on and do whatever I wanted to so I wouldn't run away. My mom cheated on my dad for the second time and they had their second divorce. I stayed with mom cause she seemed to be the one who truely didn't care what I did.
I messed up my life totally, chose the wrong men, did drugs, forced myself to drink alcohal to try and fit in with the men I chose to be with. I wasn't the Christian at all that I had always desired to be, and desperatey longed to be. Then I got married in 1990 and I was able to calmn down into a kinda normal life and got to go to church and take my three daughter to church. Church has always been the most peaceful place on earth for me.
I feel like God was around me a lot as a child. I feel like he was there for me a lot when I ran away. I have felt His presence in my life too much not to believe in Him. I am not sure about the Bible totally, I am suspicious of the versions of the Bible that have been written over the centries.
Also, I have joined in with a Messianic group lately and find them to be a place where I can find some comfort. Although I am a very shy person, and am struggling to fit in. I am no good in social situations at all. I feel that I have been lead by God (Whom they call YahWah), to these people though. They are the kind of people who stick closely to Jewish traditions, only they believe in the Messiah (Whom they call Yeshua/Yahshua).
I am still looking for a forum where I can fit in. I have been to lots of forums, serching for somewhere I can be comfortable. I have liked a lot of places where I have felt I liked the posters on the site, but the site was just not where I belong. I like a few forums where athiest visit a lot, and kinda got comfortable with athiest, but kept my belief anyway. I have been confussed by the athiest though. So I knew I needed to continue to look for another place as well.
Sorry for the long intro!
Charla
Me and my family have always been kinda like an outcast family, nobody wanted us in their neighborhoods, nobody wanted us playing with their children. So at church it was kinda different, and we were accepted in with the Afican American kids. My grandpa was a dark man, whom nobody ever knew or questioned him about his exact race, so we never got to know. Our grandpa wasn't the nice and gentle kinda man, he was mean and never wanted kids anywhere near him to bother him at all. Out grandma, who was Scots/Irish never went against our grandpa and always tried to make us kids be quiet and not disterb grandpa.
We grew up in this way. Our mom was very abusive, and our dad was alcaholic and detached from us. So I, who was the oldest, ran away from home a lot, starting when I was 11, till about 14. Then my parents just let me go on and do whatever I wanted to so I wouldn't run away. My mom cheated on my dad for the second time and they had their second divorce. I stayed with mom cause she seemed to be the one who truely didn't care what I did.
I messed up my life totally, chose the wrong men, did drugs, forced myself to drink alcohal to try and fit in with the men I chose to be with. I wasn't the Christian at all that I had always desired to be, and desperatey longed to be. Then I got married in 1990 and I was able to calmn down into a kinda normal life and got to go to church and take my three daughter to church. Church has always been the most peaceful place on earth for me.
I feel like God was around me a lot as a child. I feel like he was there for me a lot when I ran away. I have felt His presence in my life too much not to believe in Him. I am not sure about the Bible totally, I am suspicious of the versions of the Bible that have been written over the centries.
Also, I have joined in with a Messianic group lately and find them to be a place where I can find some comfort. Although I am a very shy person, and am struggling to fit in. I am no good in social situations at all. I feel that I have been lead by God (Whom they call YahWah), to these people though. They are the kind of people who stick closely to Jewish traditions, only they believe in the Messiah (Whom they call Yeshua/Yahshua).
I am still looking for a forum where I can fit in. I have been to lots of forums, serching for somewhere I can be comfortable. I have liked a lot of places where I have felt I liked the posters on the site, but the site was just not where I belong. I like a few forums where athiest visit a lot, and kinda got comfortable with athiest, but kept my belief anyway. I have been confussed by the athiest though. So I knew I needed to continue to look for another place as well.
Sorry for the long intro!
Charla
