All right, I guess I can embellish a bit more than I did in my response.
hi i am curious about how you felt during pregnancy, how your emotions changed, how it felt like to hold your baby in your arms first time ...etc. basically, how did it feel like to become a mother? are you a better woman or a better person now thanks to your experience as a mother?
During both of my pregnancies, I had to adjust quite a bit since both of them were VERY unplanned. I had originally looked at that pregnancy test on both occasions, cried, and then thought about what my options were. Each time, I chose to have the baby with my first husband (they are both his by blood).
After a few weeks, I got used to the idea, and felt ready to face it with my head held high.
With my first pregnancy (son Tyler), I had the WORST nausea I ever experienced. I used to think of women having morning sickness and think to myself, "Oh jeez, what's a little nausea here and there? I throw up, and I've had health problems, so I don't get the drama.".....well, upon getting pregnant, and finding myself camped out by the toilet for four months straight, I apologized to the universe for being such a ninny. That was rough.
When I was pregnant with child #2 (daughter Dana), the morning sickness wasn't there as much. I think I vomited once, and I only felt a little nauseous for a couple of weeks. I wish I wish I WISH I had the secret of why that first trimester was so different than the one I had with Tyler, but I don't. *shrugs* Oh well.
By month 5 with Tyler, I woke up one morning, and felt hungry. No, hungry isn't the right word. I was voracious. When they said there was a craving, they weren't kidding. I wanted a ribeye steak for breakfast, and nobody was going to tell me no - now keep in mind I had been a vegetarian for years before that one pivotal morning. But there I was, wanting animal flesh, and wanting a LOT of it and as much as I could afford.
I got my steak. But I remember contemplating that moment for a while, and knowing that my body and my baby were telling me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't exactly talk my way out of what was a reality, or that I couldn't ignore it, or just laugh it off or shrug it off. I couldn't think my way out of morning sickness. I couldn't think my way out of wanting red meat to consume. I couldn't fight it or negotiate with it or run away from it. It was there, and I had to just accept it if I wanted any semblence of sanity.
So I let my cravings dictate what I wanted. I paid attention to my body and what it wanted instead of the other way around where I withheld food from it for so long and so often to be thin for the stage. I'd go to Hardee's fast food joints and buy 4 extra large orders of french fries when the mood hit me, and I'd eat it all. Or I'd make trays and trays of bruschetta.....just because I remembered how it smelled and wanted a lot of it right at that moment. Of course, then I'd go and throw it all up again, but I stopped caring about how much weight I'd gain, and instead found myself LOVING food again.
The second trimester was my favorite times in both my pregnancies. I had more energy. I had a "glow" about me (I really did). I felt round and sensual and curvy and beautiful. My skin cleared up. Whatever nausea I had felt was all but a memory. My hair became think and luscious. I looked pregnant, and it was exciting.
The third trimester was OK until the 9th month. By that time, I was a beached whale. My stomach would bulge out so far that I could balance plates of food on them (no lie, either, I used to do that at family BBQ's). I couldn't drive around; I was stuck at home most of the time waiting for the baby to come. I would have Braxton-Hicks contractions sometimes so painfully that it was difficult to discern what was real or what was a false alarm. Not to mention that my breasts had grown so large that I couldn't hide them - ever. At all. I went from a perky and perfect dancers size 34B to a gargantuan 38EE. And they seemed to never stop growing. So my curves felt like they were just going out of control, and I would become moodier and moodier because not having ANY say so over what was going on with my body had reached it's boiling point with me. I was tired of giving my body out on loan. I was ready to actually hold my baby.
Both labor and delivery stories were vastly different from each other (go figure, lol), but the first time I ever held each of my kids was........magical. Other-worldly. Bliss. I can't describe it, I felt so loving and protective and grateful to be in such a position. I held my babies for the first time, and I felt like I could move mountains. I never felt so tender toward another human being until I held my babies and looked into their eyes for the first time.
Oh, and breastfeeding was a trip. :yes:
As far as the final question, that's admittedly tough to answer. I can't say that it's made me into a better person since I know that if I had never had children, that no doubt I'd be in a much different place financially and emotionally, but I'm sure I'd still be a bold and Big-Squishy-Hugses-kind-of-woman. However, I can say with certainty that being a mother is more of a fast-track opportunity to selflessness, patience, and generosity. Mind you, I said opportunity, meaning that having kids wasn't a guarantee that I'd learn those traits at all. LOL
Overall, I stand by my original response to the OP, and I feel that my kids - all of them, including the two I didn't give birth to (though Dylan and Garette have their own "birth" stories of how I welcomed them into my arms) - are all a tremendous blessing in my life.
