My name is Michel, I am 55 years old, married with two sons. Due to severe depression and stress related problems, I had to retire from my bank job 10 years ago, having worked there for 24 years; at least I was retired on medical grounds, so I do get a pension!
I am very confused by religion; every time I have tried to go to church, I have found that everyone seems to accept whatever faith in its entirety, without question; what seems sad is the way a lot of these people dont seem to be very genuine - example; I joined the choir at our local church of England church; most of the choristers seemed to spend more time '*****ing' about each other than anything else. I was really disallusioned.
I dont really have any friends, and my wife and sons do not seem to think much about religion - that's ok by me, that's their choice. The only thing is that the only person I have to talk to is me, and that's pretty boring, 'cos I always know what I'm going to say!
I have read a little about various faiths, but my concentration is so poor that I can only read a very small amount at a time.
From what I've seen and heard, pretty much any religion sounds ok, and I guess I've picked out the bits I like from them all, to finish with 'my religion' - whatever that is!
My religion means that There is right and wrong; unfortunately I'm not very good at being 'good', and spend a lot of my life chastising myself for things I have done in the past, and am doing now.
I always 'talk to God' (I say prayers) when out in the forest near where I live; it seems so serene and unspoilt by man. What I feel guilty about is that I I feel as if I have to hide this(if I meet someone, I have to 'shut up', and wait until they're out of sight before resuming; isn't that 'letting God down'? I even feel guilty about that.
When I do a good deed, then I feel as if I ruin the deed by the vain thought that I have done something good; I guess this sounds stupid, but it is how I feel, and I can't give up what I believe in; it feels like I'm the worst sinner in the world - that part of The Lord's prayer 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us' always makes me feel bad; I feel as if everyone else can be forgiven by me, but I cant forgive myself; I cant justify asking for forgiveness for myself. It is as if others can be forgiven for not 'knowing better', but I can't because my own rules for me are so strict.
Does this ring a bell with anyone, or am I just an idiot?
I am very confused by religion; every time I have tried to go to church, I have found that everyone seems to accept whatever faith in its entirety, without question; what seems sad is the way a lot of these people dont seem to be very genuine - example; I joined the choir at our local church of England church; most of the choristers seemed to spend more time '*****ing' about each other than anything else. I was really disallusioned.
I dont really have any friends, and my wife and sons do not seem to think much about religion - that's ok by me, that's their choice. The only thing is that the only person I have to talk to is me, and that's pretty boring, 'cos I always know what I'm going to say!
I have read a little about various faiths, but my concentration is so poor that I can only read a very small amount at a time.
From what I've seen and heard, pretty much any religion sounds ok, and I guess I've picked out the bits I like from them all, to finish with 'my religion' - whatever that is!
My religion means that There is right and wrong; unfortunately I'm not very good at being 'good', and spend a lot of my life chastising myself for things I have done in the past, and am doing now.
I always 'talk to God' (I say prayers) when out in the forest near where I live; it seems so serene and unspoilt by man. What I feel guilty about is that I I feel as if I have to hide this(if I meet someone, I have to 'shut up', and wait until they're out of sight before resuming; isn't that 'letting God down'? I even feel guilty about that.
When I do a good deed, then I feel as if I ruin the deed by the vain thought that I have done something good; I guess this sounds stupid, but it is how I feel, and I can't give up what I believe in; it feels like I'm the worst sinner in the world - that part of The Lord's prayer 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us' always makes me feel bad; I feel as if everyone else can be forgiven by me, but I cant forgive myself; I cant justify asking for forgiveness for myself. It is as if others can be forgiven for not 'knowing better', but I can't because my own rules for me are so strict.
Does this ring a bell with anyone, or am I just an idiot?
I hope you find the answers you are looking for and maybe we can help.
