Hobbies

[VoidCat]

So I've found out something about myself. It's hard to have hobbies. And hard to do stuff just for fun. I'm having to relearn that. As a kid hobbies and interests were often punished or criticized because God help us the autistic person gets too interested in something. Because then they are no longer interested they are obsessed. It's now considered pathological.

And I also seemed growing up to be constantly criticized if something was too messy or if i got too loud from excitement etc.

Not to mention the hours of not being able to do anything. Where I'd be told to stand in the corner for days on end.

I also had issues with my folks seeing interests done for fun as not being productive.

And then there was the issue of interests being used as punishments...



Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

 

[John53]

So I've found out something about myself. It's hard to have hobbies. And hard to do stuff just for fun. I'm having to relearn that. As a kid hobbies and interests were often punished or criticized because God help us the autistic person gets too interested in something. Because then they are no longer interested they are obsessed. It's now considered pathological.

And I also seemed growing up to be constantly criticized if something was too messy or if i got too loud from excitement etc.

Not to mention the hours of not being able to do anything. Where I'd be told to stand in the corner for days on end.

I also had issues with my folks seeing interests done for fun as not being productive.

And then there was the issue of interests being used as punishments...



Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

Interesting post. I think we have all been criticised for our interests as children and even as adults. Perhaps some of us can cope with criticism better than others? My main hobby is bird watching, it's not considered very manly and I've copped my fair share of criticism but I don't really care what other people think. I'm not sure if it's possible to change how we react to other peoples criticisms, it's probably the way we were born.

 

[Revoltingest]

Enjoy doing what calls to you.
Cope with criticism from others.

 

[Kathryn]

I love interior design. So I constantly am doing something in my house. I love it and it seems productive too. Maybe it's not but if not, I don't care, I am a grown woman and can do what I want when I want.

I just replaced all the knobs in my house. There are a lot of knobs! I was worn out but in a good way if that makes sense.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

So I've found out something about myself. It's hard to have hobbies. And hard to do stuff just for fun. I'm having to relearn that. As a kid hobbies and interests were often punished or criticized because God help us the autistic person gets too interested in something. Because then they are no longer interested they are obsessed. It's now considered pathological.

And I also seemed growing up to be constantly criticized if something was too messy or if i got too loud from excitement etc.

Not to mention the hours of not being able to do anything. Where I'd be told to stand in the corner for days on end.

I also had issues with my folks seeing interests done for fun as not being productive.

And then there was the issue of interests being used as punishments...



Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

I’m sorry to read how you were treated and punished for being yourself.
I love it when I find out someone has an obsessive hobby- I find it endearing. A work colleague told me in a previous job one of her colleagues collected whistles and he liked to hear the differences in the sound when he blew them and she thought it was weird in a bad way, but I thought it was the cutest thing ever!
In terms of how one finds “good hobbies” you just have to try different things until something sticks and over time you may become more relaxed and confident in enjoying it.

 

[ChristineM]

So I've found out something about myself. It's hard to have hobbies. And hard to do stuff just for fun. I'm having to relearn that. As a kid hobbies and interests were often punished or criticized because God help us the autistic person gets too interested in something. Because then they are no longer interested they are obsessed. It's now considered pathological.

And I also seemed growing up to be constantly criticized if something was too messy or if i got too loud from excitement etc.

Not to mention the hours of not being able to do anything. Where I'd be told to stand in the corner for days on end.

I also had issues with my folks seeing interests done for fun as not being productive.

And then there was the issue of interests being used as punishments...



Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

Every time i learn something new about the mistreatment you received as a child the more it upsets me. I just glad you turned out ok despite what you went through.

And that's some of the problem you are now facing. You don't need to learn, it just happens when you find something that interests you. I know you like to learn, i guess that's one of your hobbies but because of your childhood you don't see it as a hobby. And writing poetry, your furry activities, even your text friends are hobbies.
There are probably quite a few things that you do that other people would consider to be hobbies.

It's not a point of you finding hobbies etc, i think it's more re-evaluating what you already do.

 

[Revoltingest]

I love interior design. So I constantly am doing something in my house. I love it and it seems productive too. Maybe it's not but if not, I don't care, I am a grown woman and can do what I want when I want.

I just replaced all the knobs in my house. There are a lot of knobs! I was worn out but in a good way if that makes sense.

Please people!
No one make any jokes about "knob jobs".
This is a family friendly forum, & the poster
is a paragon of virtue & propriety.

 

[Revoltingest]

Every time i learn something new about the mistreatment you received as a child the more it upsets me. I just glad you turned out ok despite what you went through.

In elementary school back in the stone age, a classmate
was obsessed with dinosaurs. So the teacher made a
special effort to teach everyone about them.
That's how it's done....or should be done.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Enjoy doing what calls to you.
Cope with criticism from others.

It's different when you're a child amd those things are.discouraged.

 

[Revoltingest]

It's different when you're a child amd those things are.discouraged.

They're no longer a child though.
My advice is for them in the here & now.

 

[Kathryn]

Please people!
No one make any jokes about "knob jobs".
This is a family friendly forum, & the poster
is a paragon of virtue & propriety.

Pervert.

 

[Revoltingest]

Pervert.

No.
I'll stick with "paragon of virtue & propriety".

 

[Nimos]

Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

Learn to not care about what others think about you, they probably also have interests that are equally as "silly" or whatever to call it as some hobbists have.

Anyone that cares about what famous people do, like who is dating who etc. is that any better than enjoying model trains or fishing or whatever?

The most important thing is that you do it for yourself because you enjoy it and not to satisfy someone else.

 

[PureX]

I don't know that we can unlearn things. Seems to me that once something has been introduced into our consciousness, it stays. But I do think we can learn new ways of sorting the information out, and of responding to it. We can 'de-legitimize' it in our minds by consciously taking a moment to consider that what we are thinking and feeling is just an echo left from some lie we were told in our past. We may not have been able to see that it was a lie, then, but ow we can. So that every time that 'echo' comes back into our mind, we can stop and de-legitimize it.

Myself, I don't really have any hobbies, per say, but I do enjoy having 'projects' to complete. I like planning them out and then working through them a little bit more each day, until they are realized. I find that designing, building, and then using something to be very satisfying. I like working things out. Problem solving. I guess that's my 'hobby'. But I think of it more like it's just in my nature.

 

[bobhikes]

So I've found out something about myself. It's hard to have hobbies. And hard to do stuff just for fun. I'm having to relearn that. As a kid hobbies and interests were often punished or criticized because God help us the autistic person gets too interested in something. Because then they are no longer interested they are obsessed. It's now considered pathological.

And I also seemed growing up to be constantly criticized if something was too messy or if i got too loud from excitement etc.

Not to mention the hours of not being able to do anything. Where I'd be told to stand in the corner for days on end.

I also had issues with my folks seeing interests done for fun as not being productive.

And then there was the issue of interests being used as punishments...



Basically what I'm saying is how does one unlearn things unhealthy attitudes towards hobbies? How does one find good hobbies and figure out what actually interests them and feel ok doing things just for fun? How does one learn to relax and enjoy just being enjoying a hobby? How does one learn it's OK to just have fun for the sake of fun?

I agree with @Revoltingest, my only problem with my hobbies is balancing the costs with raising my family.

 

[JustGeorge]

I agree with @Revoltingest, my only problem with my hobbies is balancing the costs with raising my family.

Yeah, I relate there.

 

[Revoltingest]

Yeah, I relate there.

Same here.
I gots limitations galore.

 

[JustGeorge]

Same here.
I gots limitations galore.

You also have expensive hobbies!

I took up cross stitch. Knitting was unaffordable.

 

[Quintessence]

I'm so sorry this is something you are dealing with - I can't imagine what it's like. To have others sabotaging the flow of Awen in your life is just gross.

On the plus side, it's pretty much impossible to stop the flow of Awen. It's the very stuff of life and life experience. Just by existing and living, the inspiration (Awen) will flow inevitably.

Cultivating an attitude of openness to inspiration can be the tricky bit sometimes especially in a culture that likes to try and starve itself of this flow. We are told to have "reasons" for things all the time, and to be "rational" about everything and "think" about everything. The sort of inspiration (Awen) that leads to hobbies doesn't come from "reasons" it comes from feelings. Stop looking for reasons to do things, stop trying to be rational all the time, and just be and do and feel and experience. That's what play is. Doing things without a reason, doing it just because you feel like it. Understanding that feelings are not only okay, but an essential part of being human. This isn't to say the incessant, nagging, over-intellectualizing of life can't play a role in the flow of Awen. It can and it does, but when you're having a creative block? Telling that "I gotta have reasons" voice to shut up is necessary.

A useful tool for getting control over your own thoughts is definitely various forms of meditation. Like any skill it takes practice, but it clears the space to let things flow. The techniques you might develop for yourself will be an extension of your own traditions and lifeways. Some take to dancing meditation and the flow of their physical bodies. Some take to sitting lotus in a quiet room with drifting incense. Some take to standing outdoors and drinking the radiance of the sun. Whatever works.

 

[Revoltingest]

You also have expensive hobbies!

I took up cross stitch. Knitting was unaffordable.

One's grasp can always exceed one's reach.
And I have very long arms.