Honesty

[Spirit of Light]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

 

[SalixIncendium]

If one is being honest without the intent of harming another, who is it that is doing the "hurting?"

 

[stvdv]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

Silence is the language of the wise...no active hurting there

 

[stvdv]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

First perfecting oneself being honest oneself takes care of that

 

[Nimos]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

Perfect honesty ought not to be something to aim for, it is true that honesty in general is considered good. But its about balance, lying in certain cases can be preferable. Its a judgement one have to do in each situation.

I think a good rule of thumb is that if being honest doesn't hurt anyone then that should be preferred, but if one's honesty could harm others, a lie might be right option. But again, making sure what correctly judge the situation is the most important. If the goal is to avoid harming someone or one self.

 

[RestlessSoul]

This above all; To thine own self be true,
And it must follow as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

 

[stvdv]

This above all; To thine own self be true,
And it must follow as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Which means

"thine own self" = "Thine neighbor's own self"

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

Perfect honesty ought not to be something to aim for, it is true that honesty in general is considered good. But its about balance, lying in certain cases can be preferable. Its a judgement one have to do in each situation.

I think a good rule of thumb is that if being honest doesn't hurt anyone then that should be preferred, but if one's honesty could harm others, a lie might be right option. But again, making sure what correctly judge the situation is the most important. If the goal is to avoid harming someone or one self.

Some people lie because they think the one being lied to can't handle the truth.
Then, when the one being lied to finds out the other was lying, they end up being hurt and lose faith in that person.

 

[RestlessSoul]

Which means

"thine own self" = "Thine neighbor's own self"

I think it means, if you are honest with yourself you will not be dishonest in your dealings others.

Being honest, however, does not necessitate being unkind; some things are better left unsaid.

 

[stvdv]

Perfect honesty ought not to be something to aim for, it is true that honesty in general is considered good. But its about balance, lying in certain cases can be preferable. Its a judgement one have to do in each situation.

I think a good rule of thumb is that if being honest doesn't hurt anyone then that should be preferred, but if one's honesty could harm others, a lie might be right option. But again, making sure what correctly judge the situation is the most important. If the goal is to avoid harming someone or one self.

Lying is not preferable, at best it's more convenient short term

BUT

Silence is a solution when Speaking Truth will cause hurt

OR

Just reply smart, NOT lying NOR speaking unnuanced truth

 

[PureX]

I think it's very rare that our being honest would cause anyone harm.

Also, I don't see honesty as being the requirement to express every thought we have, or share every experience. It's simply the habit of being forthright with others, and truthful with ourselves. Mainly, the avoidance of deception. It's not really that difficult.

 

[stvdv]

I think it means, if you are honest with yourself you will not be dishonest in your dealings others.

From dualistic (world as reality) POV i agree with what you say

My previous reply was from non-dualistic (Spiritual as the reality, we are all God's Children, Divine incarnations, Atma) Advaitic POV

 

[stvdv]

Being honest, however, does not necessitate being unkind; some things are better left unsaid.

I can not always oblige, but I can always speak obligingly

 

[Mock Turtle]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

One perhaps needs to be stricter as to education, since apparently toddlers learn to lie from about age two. Beat it out of them obviously.

 

[Revoltingest]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

The secret to honesty is tactical silence.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

I've ever been a fan of the quote:
“Honesty without Kindness is Brutality. Kindness without Honesty is Manipulation.”

I don't have much respect for people who proudly describe themselves as brutally honest. Lack of tact is a lack of essential social skill. And the mentality surrounding preserving that lack of skillset comes with a lot of selfishness and lack of compassion.

But I also don't have much respect for the opposite extreme, where people are so primed for best outcome social interaction that you can never trust they say what they mean. Only what they think you want to hear.

 

[JustGeorge]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

It depends on what the situation is.

Nothing earth shattering is going to happen if you tell your sister her new hair style looks great when really you think it looks like she stuck her finger in an electrical outlet. Honesty here is probably unimportant. If it really means a lot to you to be honest for the sake of being honest, you could always shrug it off, avoid commenting, or simply say she always looks beautiful, but the hairstyle she had three months ago was your favorite.

It is a big deal if your friend thinks her spouse is being unfaithful, and you reassure her he's not, even though you saw him with another woman at a bar a few days ago. That is dishonesty because you don't want to deal with emotional fallout, even though the information is really important for your friend to have.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

I don't think complete honesty has to imply tactlessness. Tactlessness is what can be hurtful, not truthfulness so much.

I think there are very few truths that can't be presented in a non-hurtful way. It just takes presenting them with empathy.

Also, being "fully honest" doesn't mean telling everyone every true thing that crosses your mind. We can all practice discernment. Me not telling the people around me random trivia about etymology doesn't make me less than "fully honest;" likewise when we refrain from saying things that, while true, could be seen as insulting. It's okay not to be irrelevant to the conversation.

 

[Nakosis]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

Generally, I keep my mouth shut as long as it doesn't become too burdensome.

 

[sun rise]

To fully honest all the time may be a goal for some people, but honesty can also hurt from time to time.

How to deal with being honest, without hurting others?

I wrote of this in another thread. To me complete honesty includes being loving. If what someone says does not include love, they are not being fully honest with their innermost nature.

We're not in a court of law. We don't have to say everything on our mind and especially not in a blunt manner. We can even be honest to mislead people.

There's a story I've read in multiple versions with different people so it's clearly a teaching story that goes something like this:

A man noted for his honesty was sitting on a rock when a young woman ran up to him. "Oh sir, please help me. There are rapists trying to catch and abuse me", she said. He said, "go hide in this cave behind me and you'll be safe". The honest man then got up and moved to a different rock where he sat as if he'd been there for a while. The rapists ran up and demanded to know if he had seen a young girl. The honest man replied "I've seen no one since I've been sitting here."

The moral is naturally that we be honest but not in a way that is destructive.

Of course it's not always easy especially when something comes up unexpectedly and we learn by trial-and-error.