Well, the easy workaround is invite a homeless individual round the local area/house for a BBQ?
To provide the dinner or be the dinner?
OK, now I'm primed...
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Two cannibals finish dinner. One belches and farts and says to the other "you know, my mother-in-law never did agree with me".
Two cannibals are eating dinner. One cannibal says, you don't know how much I hate my sister. The other cannibal says, "so just eat the potatoes".
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
A cannibal king in a remote jungle territory had a particular taste for missionaries. Somehow their meat always tasted sweeter. And the king was an expert on food, for there was nothing he enjoyed more than sitting down to a sumptuous banquet.
On one particular evening he was tucking in heartily to the huge platter of thinly sliced missionary before him. It was easy to see why he weighed in at over twenty-five stone. Whilst his people were happy to see the king enjoying himself - he had a ferocious temper when things did not meet with his approval - they were fervently hoping that there would be a few scraps left over for them. For whereas the king was decidedly rotund, his subjects were thin from near starvation. So with each slice of meat that he devoured, their hearts sank a little further. It was beginning to look as if there would be nothing left.
The natives began to mutter among themselves. "It doesn't look good," said the cannibal who had felled the missionary with a poison dart. "He is going to eat the lot! It's always the same when we bring him back one of these religious types."
"He certainly has a liking for these men of God," agreed a fellow subject. "There's obviously something about their delicate skin."
"Well, it's simply not good enough," said the first native, becoming increasingly irate. "It's about time we followed the example of the Watumbabibi tribe down river and refused to hunt until the king shows us more consideration and allows us a fair helping of his missionary meals."
"You mean," queried his fellow cannibal, "That we should ask him to implement some kind of Prophet-sharing scheme?"
