• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

How do I get my 11 year old to tone down the attitude?

Marie75

Marie75

Liberal
Thank you all for the responses! I will take all into consideration and perhaps apply these methods...etc.:)
 
Sand Dancer

Sand Dancer

Crazy Cat Lady
I have one of those. He's ten. When he argues, we make him be silent for 15 minutes. Any peep adds five minutes. When he name calls, he gets a dab of shampoo on his tongue. If he does any of the above behaviors a second time in a day, he gets a 15 minute time out in the bathroom. That and a therapist we see every so often for advice doesn't hurt. Good luck!
 
Revoltingest

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Marie75 said:
Any suggestions? She's argumentative, talks back, doesn't listen...sometimes I want to pull my hair out!:eek:

Btw, she'll be 11 next month.
Click to expand...
Wait 8, 9 or 10 years.
Problem solved!

Oddly, my daughter skipped that phase.
She had her difficulties, but we've always been the best of friends.
My son, however...(shudder)...try to find it in you to find the path to rational discourse.
 
Last edited:
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Marie75 said:
Any suggestions? She's argumentative, talks back, doesn't listen...sometimes I want to pull my hair out!:eek:

Btw, she'll be 11 next month.
Click to expand...

Specifics are necessary.

I have always been terribly wary with the "talk back" (in my childhood experience "contesta" ) line.

Of course she does. I remember how I thought then and is not dfferent to how I think now. You can feed her and all, but you dont own her (I am not telling you you think you own her, but I remember what I thought then, maybe is what she thinks now)

Riverwolf said:
My suggestion (and do take it with a grain of salt since, though I've taken child psychology classes including one that focused on teenagers and I have supervised kids of various age groups, I have no children of my own) is to allow yourself into her world. Learn about whatever subculture she's most interested in. Show interest in what she's interested in. Listen to the music she listens to (and DON'T censor it; that'll just drive an unnecessary wedge between you two), and try to learn about it.

Of course, unless she welcomes you in, don't actively try to join her circle of friends. Keep it between the two of you.

In terms of discipline, NEVER raise your voice, and keep the consequences of what she does logical. Draw a line, and stick to it no matter what priceless treasure she throws across the house. Make sure there's no ambiguity, but pick battles wisely. If she thinks she got away with playing on a computer 'till the wee hours of the morning before class, let her think you don't know, and let her learn on her own what happens when you do that.

Remember that grain of salt.
Click to expand...

That sounds reasonable advice to me, grain of salt and all.
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Revoltingest said:
Wait 8, 9 or 10 years.
Problem solved!

Oddly, my daughter skipped that phase.
She had her difficulties, but we've always been the best of friends.
My son, however...(shudder)...try to find it in you to find the path to rational discourse.
Click to expand...

She mst have had an inverse period, or passed it to the son.

(I am so going to hell)
 
N

NIX

Daughter of Chaos
I find that speaking in terms of hopes- my hopes for them, and also my hopes for myself -- instead of expectations- what I expect from them -- fosters love and deeper understanding.

The whole ' you will do as I say- or else' thing sets you up as opposing forces by default.

The more energy you put into helping your child become who he or she wants to be the more they will respect you as a mentor. The more they will consider what you say, and come to you for assistance and advice.

Try to make them into who YOU want them to be- and they will avoid you, sneak, and lash out.
You know, so they can go off somewhere else and attempt to be who they actually are.
 
MysticSang'ha

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
NIX said:
I find that speaking in terms of hopes- my hopes for them, and also my hopes for myself -- instead of expectations- what I expect from them -- fosters love and deeper understanding.

The whole ' you will do as I say- or else' thing sets you up as opposing forces by default.

The more energy you put into helping your child become who he or she wants to be the more they will respect you as a mentor. The more they will consider what you say, and come to you for assistance and advice.

Try to make them into who YOU want them to be- and they will avoid you, sneak, and lash out.
You know, so they can go off somewhere else and attempt to be who they actually are.
Click to expand...


This. 1000%. From experience, this is so true. :yes:
 
ChristineES

ChristineES

Tiggerism
Premium Member
As good natured as my daughter is, she can really get an attitude on occasion. I was told that it should die down by the time she stops being a teenager. That's 5 years for me, as my daughter is 15.
 
Revoltingest

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
ChristineES said:
As good natured as my daughter is, she can really get an attitude on occasion. I was told that it should die down by the time she stops being a teenager. That's 5 years for me, as my daughter is 15.
Click to expand...
Obviously, you're making this all up.
We can clearly see that she's an angel.
 
Marie75

Marie75

Liberal
NIX said:
I find that speaking in terms of hopes- my hopes for them, and also my hopes for myself -- instead of expectations- what I expect from them -- fosters love and deeper understanding.

The whole ' you will do as I say- or else' thing sets you up as opposing forces by default.

The more energy you put into helping your child become who he or she wants to be the more they will respect you as a mentor. The more they will consider what you say, and come to you for assistance and advice.

Try to make them into who YOU want them to be- and they will avoid you, sneak, and lash out.
You know, so they can go off somewhere else and attempt to be who they actually are.
Click to expand...

This is exactly what I do already! :) Generally she's a good kid, but has a side to her that I can't explain and I feel that it needs to be worked on, subtlety. I appreciate all of you in your participation.:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top