How do you have 'The Conversation'?

[PoetPhilosopher]

.....

Oh, sorry, you meant a different kind of conversation than what Presley was talking about. Sorry about that.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Long story short, I have a friend who is turning 66 in August and I'm already noticing that she is "missing" things, forgets things, repeats herself and does not listen.

Her husband and I have discussed this but he flat out said, "Oh, she will never go to the doctor for this. She knows! (Something is wrong, or not quite right, at the very least). The other night I got a text saying, "I tripped over the dog. Sprained ankle." So, the next day, I was visiting her as she dramatically moved around and at one point I told her, "I am worried about you. You didn't remember the password you used for five years yesterday and got frustrated when you couldn't remember. Hon, you need to see your doctor about this!" Without skipping a beat she said, matter of factly, "Why would I do that, it's just a sprain." I looked at her like she had just arrived from another planet. I said, "I'm not talking about your ankle." Her response is what put my senses reeling. "What are you worried about then? I'm fine."

I said, "I'm sorry I brought it up." and she just looked... confused. Defiant, but clearly not really sure what was going on. It was a very weird experience.

The only reason I bring this up is due to my activities I am in a unique counselling situation where I talk to other men in dire straights talking about very serious problems affecting them. So, I know the communication problem is not on my side of this equation with my friend. Her husband is unresponsive and my fear is that he is just planning to ship her off to "a home" eventually. Do I just stand by and do nothing and watch her brain turn to mush?

There other tell-tale signs are stand out in that she is extremely negative about, well, pretty much anything and everything. She also had this weird affectation in the form of coughing. How to describe. The cough itself is real enough, but mid way, she goes into this theatric exhibition that is literally screaming "Look at me!" So, a real cough, but one that she has learned to milk to the Nth degree. (You would have to see her do it to fully grasp what I am getting at. I've never seen another person do a cough as she does. Not even close. And wait for it... ... there is nothing the doctors can do about it. *sigh*


Any advice would be great, but it did feel good getting this off my chest. The problem is it's not possible to help a person who does not want help. So how do you tell someone that you think they should be checked out for dementia (or summin'). (My thinking is test for dementia and the real culprit will show itself to a trained proffessional in pretty short order.)

Getting some people with mental health issues to see a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist can be no easy task. To me, it sounds more like something the family or husband should do, which they don't seem to be doing.

 

[YmirGF]

Getting some people with mental health issues to see a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist can be no easy task. To me, it sounds more like something the family or husband should do, which they don't seem to be doing.

At times, she recognizes she has a problem, but for the most part, she is in total denial anything is amiss. I don't know if I mentioned above, but she had a minor stroke about 2 years ago and simply has not been the same since. These days, it is not often when she is firing on all cylinders.

 

[YmirGF]

Well, just got back and everything is back to lovey-dovey mode. She said something like, "As soon as I realized you were in a meeting, I understood you didn't mean to be mean." I wasn't in a meeting, and she didn't understand a thing. I just let it slide and was far less combative that I can get. The visit went well enough, but it is quite an experience dealing with a person going through diminishing mental capacity.