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How does your God measure up?

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
It strikes me that some of the conversations of late have amounted to little more than pissing contests, whereby some of our esteemed members have taken to telling others how their God is correct/morally true/the One. Incidentally, this applies to atheists, who are telling people how their non-God is clearly better. And agnostics? I'm not giving you a free pass. I can see you thinking that the only thing we know is that we can't know, and that both atheists and theists, pagans and animists alike are kidding themselves.

So I figured there were a couple of rational responses to this. One is to humbly request that people use their ears as much as their mouths. Some are awesome at this, some are...err...ear-challenged, I guess. My Dad would possibly ask whether people had their ears painted on.

The second is to simply make a place for people to make their ridiculous 'My God is better than your God assertions' in the area where such things belong. The Jokes section.

So, in classical Australian toilet-humour fashion, let's have a nice open pissing contest. Start your post with something like 'My God(s)/non-God(s)/whatever is bigger than your God's because...xyz'

And for God's sake (quite literally) keep your sense of humour intact, or bugger off out of my thread.

The right tenet would be something like the one taken by Stephen Colbert in his book 'I am America and so Can You' where he proves the Catholic God is the best by scoring various battles through history in a tongue in cheek fashion.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
All right, so I'm an atheist, might as well have a crack at this.
Let's see how the atheist non-God measures up.

*eases zipper open, and checks the package*

:eek:
Hmmm...that's not great. I can't see anything there. Not a damn thing. Even having a bit of a fumble around isn't bringing me any joy.
I'm not sure if it's hiding, or if you can only see it if you believe in it, but there just seems to be...well...nothing!
I suspect I should switch to a religion with an elephant God, or something, at this point.
 

Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
Also, because I know someone is going to yell "BUT I NEEDZ PROOF" here is your proof!

'

Okay, this isn't really proof. But it's a cool science video.
 
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lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Also, because I know someone is going to yell "BUT I NEEDZ PROOF" here is your proof!

...

Okay, this isn't really proof. But it's a cool science video.

If there's one thing I know BEYOND ALL DOUBT, it's that this thread is not about proof...lol
Nice vid, btw.

I have to question you, though. In the long tradition of ****-measuring, I don't think it's even been acceptable to respond with 'Look at my giant balls of fire'.
 

JiSe

Member
Drunken finn here.. I was approached by elderly lady who wanted my D... So my non-gods peewee is infinitelyly long noodly "appendage" is by definition infinite on its volyme, therefore its largest. And holds most per.
 

George-ananda

Advaita Vedanta, Theosophy, Spiritualism
Premium Member
'My God(s)/non-God(s)/whatever is bigger than your God's because...Brahman kicks butt because not only is He God but the entire universe is Him....take that you puny-armed Thor
 
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Nietzsche

The Last Prussian
Premium Member
Our skalds shall sing the praises of the Thunderer!


May the Mighty-Mjoelnir, nail the bleeding-naked Nazarene upon the pagan-planks! Pound in the painful nails, and hang him high & dry!
 

StarryNightshade

Spiritually confused Jew
Premium Member
Obviously Sri Narasimha is the best. He busted through a pillar and ripped apart a demon king.

narasimha-avatar-DM76_l.jpg

Makes Simba look like a little *****. :p
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
*boggles at Sri Narasimha*

Okay, so I'm not standing next to HIM at the urinal. I would get stage fright for sure...
 

The Neo Nerd

Well-Known Member
My non-god has a bigger *ahem* rod than yours.

And since my god does not actually exist i am quite justified in saying that you have to have faith in that fact.
 

Storm

ThrUU the Looking Glass
'My God(s)/non-God(s)/whatever is bigger than your God's because...Brahman kicks butt because not only is He God but the entire universe is Him....take that you puny-armed Thor
My God is bigger than all of yours, because not only is the entire universe merely a manifestation, so are ALL the Gods.

Also all the clits.

I win. :p :D
 
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