How important is “romantic” love in romantic relationships?

[an anarchist]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

If the feeling of love is not the priority, then what is?

For me, I believe my relationship is successful and permanent because my boyfriend respects me, and that I love. I love my boyfriend too, don’t get me wrong. But is the feeling infatuation? No, I have come to terms with the fact that those feelings are part of my distant past. What I require and desire now is respect more than the feeling of romantic love.

What about you? I know a lot of people idealize the warm fuzzy feelings in your heart, but is that really the priority when determining your romantic partner?

 

[JustGeorge]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

Well, that's generally temporary. Even in the most loving relationships, that doesn't go on forever.

If the feeling of love is not the priority, then what is?

Can't love feel another way?

For me, I believe my relationship is successful and permanent because my boyfriend respects me, and that I love. I love my boyfriend too, don’t get me wrong. But is the feeling infatuation? No, I have come to terms with the fact that those feelings are part of my distant past. What I require and desire now is respect more than the feeling of romantic love.

What about you? I know a lot of people idealize the warm fuzzy feelings in your heart, but is that really the priority when determining your romantic partner?

What determines my partner may be different than what keeps the relationship going.

 

[ChristineM]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

I think it important for starters though it develops into something deeper.

the feeling of love is not the priority, then what is?

The feeling of love is always important in a relationship, the type of love is what makes the difference

For me, I believe my relationship is successful and permanent because my boyfriend respects me, and that I love. I love my boyfriend too, don’t get me wrong. But is the feeling infatuation? No, I have come to terms with the fact that those feelings are part of my distant past. What I require and desire now is respect more than the feeling of romantic love.

Good on ya.

What about you?

I require joint understanding, compassion, intimacy, understanding.

 

[Alien826]

My experience is that the initial "in love" feeling does go away after a while. Sad, but true. It's my theory that nature needs us to be incentivized to perform what would be seen to be a somewhat bizarre act otherwise, in order to continue the species.

Otherwise, I recommend making no permanent commitments until you have lived with someone for a while. And keep a suitcase packed.

 

[Estro Felino]

I believe sex is supposed to be romantic and beautiful.
I believe it's a priority to idealize love...because Beauty is Truth.

 

[bobhikes]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

If the feeling of love is not the priority, then what is?

For me, I believe my relationship is successful and permanent because my boyfriend respects me, and that I love. I love my boyfriend too, don’t get me wrong. But is the feeling infatuation? No, I have come to terms with the fact that those feelings are part of my distant past. What I require and desire now is respect more than the feeling of romantic love.

What about you? I know a lot of people idealize the warm fuzzy feelings in your heart, but is that really the priority when determining your romantic partner?

Personally, I need romance in my relationship to be happy. This could be a morning kiss, an occasional back massage, a sexy dress up, a dinner by candle light or with soft music and most important sexual romps and she should be receptive to me doing the same for her. Otherwise to me your just friends.

 

[Estro Felino]

I also believe romance consists in the way you say things. In a more idealized way.
So...If I say to my man: if you want to keep me, you gotta love me harder... it means I express a need for love which is both romantic and passionate.

 

[an anarchist]

Well, that's generally temporary

My experience is that the initial "in love" feeling does go away after a while

Well, in my case, this is not so. My heart still belongs to my first relationship. I promised her I’d love her forever and I wasn’t lying when I said that as a young chap. But, she does not have respect for me, and I feel ashamed around her. Even though I still get butterflies and my heart turns to putty after all these years when we occasionally talk, I do not pursue her. The emotion that is so pure and true I must override and disregard. Respect is more important to me.

 

[an anarchist]

I believe sex is supposed to be romantic and beautiful.
I believe it's a priority to idealize love...because Beauty is Truth.

I used to see like you. I was a real romantic ya kno?

 

[Kathryn]

I think there must be romantic love, which can fade but not always. But at some point you have to have romantic love in my opinion.

 

[osgart]

I think romance can never be manufactured, or contrived. With respect, and mutual deservedness romance comes naturally. The in love feeling is like earning it at heart. Putting the romance where it's deserved. Romance is like a deserved attraction that stems from being appreciated, and appreciating in return. Nothing to appreciate and romance isn't going to happen.

Early on when people fall in love they idealize their love and the romance flows naturally. Over time then we get to know the other and reality sets in, and the good and the not so good things are learned.

 

[The Hammer]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

That's not "romantic", that's just lust and infatuation. This may be important in the beginning, but not for a long term romantic sort of love.

 

[Koldo]

How important is the feeling of “romantic” love in romantic relationships? Butterflies in your stomach, heart skipping a beat, infatuated up the wazoo, that kind of love.

Not much. That goes away quite quickly.

If the feeling of love is not the priority, then what is?

Companionship.

 

[Alien826]

Well, in my case, this is not so. My heart still belongs to my first relationship. I promised her I’d love her forever and I wasn’t lying when I said that as a young chap. But, she does not have respect for me, and I feel ashamed around her. Even though I still get butterflies and my heart turns to putty after all these years when we occasionally talk, I do not pursue her. The emotion that is so pure and true I must override and disregard. Respect is more important to me.

In my experience, you have to actually "get" the other person and spend time with them for the romance to fade. Unrequited love can last a long time. Also, if your access to the person is limited, say when conducting and extra-marital affair, it can go on for years. YMMV of course.

I thought has occurred to me. You know the country song "He stopped loving her today"? For those not familiar it describes a man who was "dumped" by a woman years ago. He said he would love her until he died, and yes, you've guessed it, he just died. A real tear jerker, right? Not to me. He basically wasted the rest of his life mooning after a woman that no longer wanted him. Get over her and find someone else, is my advice!