How much tolerance???

[Scuba Pete]

As many of y'all know... I own/run a few boards.

I also have a high tolerance for people who are not like me. Unlike many Christians (or those who claim to be).

We have sections on our board to ask for dive buddies. Well recently we had a post that went like "Looking for gay male dive buddy".

One of my moderators thinks this is openly asking for sex.

While I strongly disagree.

In fact, he has resigned over this and completely left the board. Saying he can't be a hypocrite. Well, niether can I!

What do you think?

 

[Circle_One]

I don't think it's an open request for sex, perhaps he's just looking for someone with the same interests and sexual preference as him. Or perhaps he doesn't know that many people who share his sexual preference and so feels outcasted and merely wishes to know other gay males so as to not feel so alone...?

 

[Feathers in Hair]

I think you picked the 'right' interpretation. If I was wanting to something I enjoyed, like diving (still gotta try that!) and was a bit scared, I might openly ask for a "Straight Female Diving Buddy". Because that person would be of the same gender and sexual orientation as I happen to be, I would know that we could focus our time on learning to dive or simply enjoying it. Or, like Circle One said, they might simply be wanting to be meet other people of their 'type', and not neccessarily for sexual reasons. I've got a lot of gay friends who have gay friends (which may explain why I have so many gay friends) who they're not at all interested in, sexually.

As I've complimented you on many times, you really exemplify that which some Christians only pretend to be, tolerant, caring and warm- hearted. You would only be a hypocrite if you turned around and said that a straight person couldn't post the same thing, or that a straight person could but a gay person couldn't. And if it becomes apparent that all they are looking for is a hook- up, you couldn't have known.

 

[Lightkeeper]

Can you ask the person what he meant? I cringe at the word "tolerance". We had this discussion in another thread. It's not the same as acceptance.

 

[Fluffy]

That is not openly asking for sex. It might be implying this but that is a different matter. Perhaps the idea of innocent until proven guilty should be exercised here. Whether or not it is reasonable to interpret that as asking for sex is irrelevant since it is just the opinion of the person making that interpretation. However, the fact that it could be easily interpreted that way (as demonstrated by your ex-mod) might mean that the person who posted this might get more than they were bargaining for. Asking them is the only way to tell for sure I suppose.

Furthermore, I don't think he should have resigned over this and would suggest that this is more of a reflection upon his personality and thoughts upon gay people than anything else. People see what they want to see. He brought to you a qualm which he had and you overruled him. Its your board so there is nothing he can do about it. It doesn't make him a hypocrite to be part of a community in which he does not have the last say on a matter.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

One of my moderators thinks this is openly asking for sex. While I strongly disagree. ... What do you think?

First and foremost, I think you're to be commended.

As for the add, it seems pretty clear to me that the young man was looking for a dive buddy / potential date, much like some heterosexual counterpart seeking a dive buddy who is a "young, single woman". I'd suggest that both requests be handled identically.

 

[michel]

I don't think it's an open request for sex, perhaps he's just looking for someone with the same interests and sexual preference as him. Or perhaps he doesn't know that many people who share his sexual preference and so feels outcasted and merely wishes to know other gay males so as to not feel so alone...?

Hi Circle_one,

I think you hit the nail on the head; Rich, as far as I am concerned,(If that helps) your attitude was the moral one.

 

[No*s]

As many of y'all know... I own/run a few boards.

I also have a high tolerance for people who are not like me. Unlike many Christians (or those who claim to be).

We have sections on our board to ask for dive buddies. Well recently we had a post that went like "Looking for gay male dive buddy".

One of my moderators thinks this is openly asking for sex.

While I strongly disagree.

In fact, he has resigned over this and completely left the board. Saying he can't be a hypocrite. Well, niether can I!

What do you think?

Like Deut, I think you should be commended for your choice. That isn't asking for sex, and it's a very liberal interpretation that allows it to be such. He's asking for a friend with similar interest, and maybe a date. We need not read the worst into everybody's statements...it says more about the reader than the author.

In fact, the only complaint I could have with you, is that you assumed that awful spelling of "yall" with an apostrophe. I mean, imagine, the possessive "y'all's." It just looks nasty. Repent

 

[Scorn]

Definitely the right choice. As others have repeatedly pointed out there is no ulterior meaning implied nor should it be read as such.

 

[Rex]

First and foremost, I think you're to be commended.

As for the add, it seems pretty clear to me that the young man was looking for a dive buddy / potential date, much like some heterosexual counterpart seeking a dive buddy who is a "young, single woman". I'd suggest that both requests be handled identically.

I totally agree. Great work Pete. I hope it wasn't Ted!

 

[Scott1]

I agree with your decision Pete..... but wonder if your response would have been different if the member was "Looking for a WHITE ONLY dive partner"?

 

[Mr Spinkles]

I agree with your decision Pete..... but wonder if your response would have been different if the member was "Looking for a WHITE ONLY dive partner"?

Hmm, an interesting question. Should we tolerate intolerance?

I think that, as much as I disagree with it, I would allow people to request WHITE ONLY dive partners. Then again....I dunno. I'll have to think about this one.

 

[Rex]

I agree with your decision Pete..... but wonder if your response would have been different if the member was "Looking for a WHITE ONLY dive partner"?

I don't see a problem with this. Personal Ads already say SWF or BBW. And that would denote what they are looking for, well maybe not that kinda says who they are. HMM. Now I don't know.. hehe

Ugh.

 

[Scott1]

I don't see a problem with this. Personal Ads already say SWF or BBW. And that would denote what they are looking for, well maybe not that kinda says who they are. HMM. Now I don't know.. hehe

Ugh.

I get ya Rex.... but everything has its place..... we would not allow a "Whites Only Forum" here on this site, now would we?

 

[Scuba Pete]

I agree with your decision Pete..... but wonder if your response would have been different if the member was "Looking for a WHITE ONLY dive partner"?

Well, he didn't use the word "only", but sure... why not? Even if he was looking for a SWF as a dive buddy, I would not have a problem with that. Many do.

 

[Scuba Pete]

I hope it wasn't Ted!

No, Ted and I fully agree on most everything... especially this.

 

[Hope]

In fact, the only complaint I could have with you, is that you assumed that awful spelling of "yall" with an apostrophe. I mean, imagine, the possessive "y'all's." It just looks nasty. Repent

Not to get too off-the-subject here, but where are you from, No*s? Being a Southerner, as NetDoc is, I've always spelled y'all with the apostrophe. After all, it is a contraction, just like can't, don't, won't, etc. Contracted form of you all. So I don't think he has anything to 'repent' of!! It is proper usage of Southern vocabulary! ( Whether it looks nice or not! )

 

[No*s]

Not to get too off-the-subject here, but where are you from, No*s? Being a Southerner, as NetDoc is, I've always spelled y'all with the apostrophe. After all, it is a contraction, just like can't, don't, won't, etc. Contracted form of you all. So I don't think he has anything to 'repent' of!! It is proper usage of Southern vocabulary! ( Whether it looks nice or not! )

Texas, though I'm in exile in OK, away from the Promised Land.

"Yall" is a contraction, but it is also a pronoun and functions regularly as one . After all, it's long since lost its association with "you all" directly. I'd never say "all you all" lol. I do say "all yall" on occasion, and all possessive pronouns lack an apostrophe (thus making it so awful in its possessive form).

Besides, keeping it a contraction denies it its proper role, with that unvainglorious look in the possessive, will hinder its divine destiny: to become a standard 2nd person plural pronoun .

 

[robtex]

Netdoc seems that Deut pegged it well...but lets say he was looking for some kinky underwater sex....so what? He kept the details off the boards. I gotta ask...did the incident get to you and if so why?

 

[Hope]

Hmmmm...well, you got me there! I can see how in the possessive it would look funny. But, honestly, I've only ever seen it spelled with the apostrophe, at least when it's not possessive. To me, it looks strange without it!