How Often have You Solved a Conflict by....

[Sunstone]

My aggressive side is occasionally, well, overzealous. I am always more than happy to escalate any arguement, and I am not adverse to seeing if I can drop kick someone's skull over the nearest 7-11. It's a genuine curse. Throw a bad temper on top of it, and you get me. I do my best to control it, but every now and then that little evil genie-in-a-bottle pops out and I flip my lid. And I always claim the moral high ground, even when I'm punching an old lady in the mall. Seriously. Dropped her husband, too.

In my experience, I feel and behave that way if I am not genuinely serious about finding a solution to some issue. Of course, given my nature, that's more often than it probably should be, but when I really am serious about finding a solution -- such as in a conflict with my main client -- I tend to stay very focused on results.

 

[Father Heathen]

Things are rarely black and white, but rather varying shades of grey. Of course, finding common ground and mutual goals is ideal, but once you have emotion, ego, and identity tied into it, forget it.

 

[Wirey]

Things are rarely black and white, but rather varying shades of grey. Of course, finding common ground and mutual goals is ideal, but once you have emotion, ego, and identity tied into it, forget it.

Says you!

 

[idav]

Last, and most importantly, if none of those methods is your preferred means to solving conflicts, please describe what are your preferred means.

Similar to calling the other side evil. To solve conflict you point out how the other side is obviously sympathetic to Nazi Hitlerism.

If that doesn't work I play John Lennons "Imagine".

 

[columbus]

My aggressive side is occasionally, well, overzealous. I am always more than happy to escalate any arguement, and I am not adverse to seeing if I can drop kick someone's skull over the nearest 7-11. It's a genuine curse. Throw a bad temper on top of it, and you get me. I do my best to control it, but every now and then that little evil genie-in-a-bottle pops out and I flip my lid. And I always claim the moral high ground, even when I'm punching an old lady in the mall. Seriously. Dropped her husband, too.

Wasn't it you who inspired ISIS with the crystal clarity of:

"SHOOT'EM ALL, LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT!"

TOM

 

[LuisDantas]

How often have you solved a conflict -- say, a conflict with your spouse, boss, co-worker, or neighbor -- by accusing one side of being evil while claiming the other side is good?

What about solving a conflict by accusing one side of being entirely immoral while praising the other side as completely moral?

Or, how often do you solve conflicts by focusing on which side is more to blame, and which side is less to blame?

Again, if any of those methods are your preferred method for solving conflicts, do you view yourself as a effective and efficient problem-solver?

All of that is true, as long as the disapproved parties grant me the courtesy of vanishing from existence without leaving any memory.

No, it does not usually happen. I have seen people try with a lot of insistence, nonetheless.

Last, and most importantly, if none of those methods is your preferred means to solving conflicts, please describe what are your preferred means.

I usually attempt to make clear statements of boundaries, goals and acceptable exchanges as a first step.

Not too few conflicts are more about fears than about actual differences. It is often useful to clarify what the differences are. If nothing else, that allows both parties to consider whether it could be worth simply keeping a distance from each other or choosing different goals if it is not too much trouble.

 

[natsy]

How often have you solved a conflict -- say, a conflict with your spouse, boss, co-worker, or neighbor -- by accusing one side of being evil while claiming the other side is good?

What about solving a conflict by accusing one side of being entirely immoral while praising the other side as completely moral?

Or, how often do you solve conflicts by focusing on which side is more to blame, and which side is less to blame?

Again, if any of those methods are your preferred method for solving conflicts, do you view yourself as a effective and efficient problem-solver?

Last, and most importantly, if none of those methods is your preferred means to solving conflicts, please describe what are your preferred means.

the way i solve a conflict and have done innocently all my life is to let the truth tell its self and stay silent,,, good wins, truth wins, positive wins all day long baby, ,,,, ha i love my self!!!