How shall we correct this injustice?

[Heyo]

Have a nice day.

May I quote you on this?

 

[Koldo]

Bad analogy. In a city, you are never really "alone". There are other people, or can be, just around the corner.

Fair enough. In what kind of setting were those women (the ones you know) attacked? @IndigoChild5559
I would also like clarification on what constitutes this attack.

 

[BrightShadow]

Seems like you don't understand the psychology of a person who has been raped.

Research the large cases of rape involving insular groups, like religious groups, and perpetrated by family members and realise that surveillance won't make a difference because these things dont happen in plain sight.

I covered solutions for all possible situations and scenarios. Use #6 on them.
Teach them. Educated them. Enlighten them. If that fails - then consider stricter punishment (#1)

You decided to pick one scenario and then decided surveillance won't work in that scenario.
I know - not every problem has a single, perfect solution.

Is that smart to respond like that?
Read my whole post.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

For a short term idea how about we in USA segregate high schools keeping males and females separate and introduce formal protocols for males and females to interact? That may have unpredictable results. Most solutions do.

It's been a long time since I've studied this (I used to teach) so it's possible that new research has come out. But what I remember is this: both boys and girls do much better academically when segregated. But it comes at a price, that being they don't learn how to socialize with each other as ordinary human beings. Getting together for the occasional sock hop just doesn't do the trick.

 

[Revoltingest]

I've never known any woman who has ever been alone in the woods.

Mrs Revolt hikes in National Parks alone regularly.
I asked her about the bear vs man thing.
She said she'd avoid the bear.
No problem with men.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

Fair enough. In what kind of setting were those women (the ones you know) attacked? @IndigoChild5559
I would also like clarification on what constitutes this attack.

Each instance was unique. One friend was drugged by someone she thought was a friend at a bar, and has no idea where she was assaulted, only that she woke up on the street. One friend from junior high went to her friend's house, and the mother left to run an errand. During that time, she was raped by her friend's brother. One friend from high school was walking down the street to babysit, and was abducted by a group of teenage boys and gang raped in a home. One friend was raped by her sergeant in the Army in his office. More than one friend was raped by their boss in his office. One friend was sexually assaulted but not raped (forced fondling and threats of rape) walking to her car from Church choir practice. One friend was raped in the living room of a man when she thought she was just going over to watch movies. I have quite a few friends who were raped by family members, including husbands, in their own homes. Yeah, I know that's a LOT. Like I said, IRL I'm the kind of person others gravitate to to share their secrets.

There are two things that become very apparent on this list:
None of the rapes I know about happened by strangers except the gang rape.
None of the rapes I know about happened on the streets.

Stranger rape DOES happen, but not nearly as often as it happens on TV.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

Can't violence and aggression be sexual stimuli though, like in BDSM?

I'm not an expert. But to the best of my understanding, for people who enjoy BDSM, it's always consensual and has safewords. The kind of violence we've been talking about is NOT consensual. It's an attack.

You are asking some very strange questions. It's kind of creeping me out. I'm sorry if I'm saying things you don't want to hear. But I do find the incredible effort you are making to diminish the violence that happens and trying to put it on par with having sex to be offensive, and (like I said) creepy.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

At least, he can't say that it didn't happen.

And then it is "only" a question if it was consensual. But assault is still assault, even if it is consensual, and the perp has to convince the court that it was.

The POINT is that a woman can be black and blue from head to toes, and it's still a he said, she said, and it seems like only the he said matters.

There is no such thing as an assault that is consensual. People who enjoy BDSM are not assaulting each other.

 

[crossfire]

Can't violence and aggression be sexual stimuli though, like in BDSM?

The submissive one holds all the power in consentual BDSM. An aggressive rapist is the one who holds the power in the case of rape.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

The submissive one holds all the power in consentual BDSM. An aggressive rapist is the one who holds the power in the case of rape.

Thank you.

 

[Samael_Khan]

I covered solutions for all possible situations and scenarios. Use #6 on them.
Teach them. Educated them. Enlighten them. If that fails - then consider stricter punishment (#1)

You decided to pick one scenario and then decided surveillance won't work in that scenario.
I know - not every problem has a single, perfect solution.

Is that smart to respond like that?
Read my whole post.

You didn't cover all solutions at all because you didn't address all the situations.

#1 & #2 doesn't take into account victim psychology. Imagine how you would react after getting raped or study accounts of how people react. Think of things like family reaction, community stigmitization and such. You are a good example of why people won't report, because you seem to jump on the false accusation bandwagon.

#2, #4 & #5 Aren't affective against the situation of family members, priests or other people close to the family or group, who groom and sexually assault people in private. These scenarios are a large part of the situation pool. The fact that your solutions do not account for that shows how ignorant you are of the topic at hand. Not to mention your solutions involve enforcing a police state.

#6 follows is a laughable solution because a large amount of sexual abuse is caused by so called holy men. Take Ravi Zacharias as an example, a guy who followers loved and then it turned out that he was sexually abusing women in his spar. Or take the example of Christianities track record in general when it comes to sexual abuse. A whole lot of cover ups.

You should understand why people report late or not at all if you understand the psychology of victims and the social stigma they get if reporting abuse.

Your solutions are a near total failure.

 

[Heyo]

The submissive one holds all the power in consentual BDSM.

And there has to be a great deal of trust on both sides. The dom has to trust that the sub won't accuse them of assault/rape. It helps when both parties and an independent third party know what is going to happen. A rapist may try to claim that it was consensual, but they are less likely to be believed when there was no documented trust building.

 

[Estro Felino]

And there has to be a great deal of trust on both sides. The dom has to trust that the sub won't accuse them of assault/rape. It helps when both parties and an independent third party know what is going to happen. A rapist may try to claim that it was consensual, but they are less likely to be believed when there was no documented trust building.

Rapists are sick people. With serious psychiatric issues.
They are not sex-starved. If they were, they would search for nymphos online...women who would sleep with literally anyone.

Most of the times it deals with psychos and sadists who enjoy causing harm. So having sex with a nympho does not satisfy their sadism. They search for frigid, almost asexual women.

 

[Samael_Khan]

Have a nice day.

You have nothing to say?

 

[TagliatelliMonster]

I disagree. Yes, this is how many men do talk amongst themselves. But many men also don't. I'm one of them, and I have called out that sort of talk.

What is there to "call out"?

 

[TagliatelliMonster]

Thank you. Surely humanity can be higher than that.

"higher" then jokingly admiring the female form?

 

[Koldo]

The submissive one holds all the power in consentual BDSM. An aggressive rapist is the one who holds the power in the case of rape.

Ok, but how does one feel when they are the agressive one in BSDM? I have zilch experience on that, but while sparring I felt powerful while landing hits. I can only imagine that the agressive one is going to feel the same in BSDM.

One way or another it doesn't matter much. It seems that violence in both cases is serving as a sexual stimulus.

 

[Koldo]

I'm not an expert. But to the best of my understanding, for people who enjoy BDSM, it's always consensual and has safewords. The kind of violence we've been talking about is NOT consensual. It's an attack.

I know that. I am just saying that it is possible to experience sexual stimuli from many different things, including violence.

You are asking some very strange questions. It's kind of creeping me out. I'm sorry if I'm saying things you don't want to hear. But I do find the incredible effort you are making to diminish the violence that happens and trying to put it on par with having sex to be offensive, and (like I said) creepy.

I am not dimishing the violence experienced by the victims at all. It is among one of the worst things that someone can make someone else go through. Period.

I wouldn't ever put rape (which is a word that can encompass both non-consensual sexual intercourse and non-consensual penetration) on par with consensual sex.

I just don't agree with the statement that rape is never about sex. Non-consensual sexual intercourse is, sadly, way too common of an occurence for that to make sense. I wonder how this misconception started.

 

[Revoltingest]

I just don't agree with the statement that rape is never about sex. Non-consensual sexual intercourse is, sadly, way too common of an occurence for that to make sense. I wonder how this misconception started.

I speculate that if it's admitted that many rapes
are about sex, there's a fear that this might
suggest the victim is responsible to some extent.

 

[BrightShadow]

You didn't cover all solutions at all because you didn't address all the situations.

#1 & #2 doesn't take into account victim psychology. Imagine how you would react after getting raped or study accounts of how people react. Think of things like family reaction, community stigmitization and such. You are a good example of why people won't report, because you seem to jump on the false accusation bandwagon.

#2, #4 & #5 Aren't affective against the situation of family members, priests or other people close to the family or group, who groom and sexually assault people in private. These scenarios are a large part of the situation pool. The fact that your solutions do not account for that shows how ignorant you are of the topic at hand. Not to mention your solutions involve enforcing a police state.

#6 follows is a laughable solution because a large amount of sexual abuse is caused by so called holy men. Take Ravi Zacharias as an example, a guy who followers loved and then it turned out that he was sexually abusing women in his spar. Or take the example of Christianities track record in general when it comes to sexual abuse. A whole lot of cover ups.

You should understand why people report late or not at all if you understand the psychology of victims and the social stigma they get if reporting abuse.

Your solutions are a near total failure.

Stricter (severe) punishment will take care of everything.
Stricter punishment with education (4 all) from the other side (that includes what a victim should do - seek therapy etc.) = fewer predators /assailants.

No perpetrators = no victims.

Happy ending!
No?

Your solutions are a near total failure.

It seems you are looking for a golden solution. A magic potion that works on all.
Do everything - do more - and then some!