How to not worry about People's Opinion of you

[Spice]

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Hello I was wanting some advice on how to not worry about how other people see you and what they think about you. I think this is part of my social anxiety.

I would like to add another perspective: anxiety is natural and healthy in certain degrees. Instead of not worrying what people think of you, you could embrace that worrying is okay but work to lessen how much you worry about that (e.g. you can worry about it and try to learn from it, which is healthy amount of worrying. or you can worry about it so much you avoid people for days, which is an unhealthy amount of worrying) and target which specific things you want to worry about (e.g. I worry that I may have been rude to this person is a healthy target, but I worry that I look ugly to this person is an unhealthy target)

 

[Niatero]

Hello I was wanting some advice on how to not worry about how other people see you and what they think about you. I think this is part of my social anxiety.

Wow. What a good question. I need to think about this. I'm sure that any way of doing it will take a lot of time and practice. Wow. What a wonderful question!

(later) I'm not sure, but maybe, spend more time with people who appreciate you.

That reminds me, I like your avatar.

(later) I might post more ideas as they come to me, before I forget them. Here's a trick I use sometimes: I welcome all my feelings as friends trying to help me, even if they get it wrong sometimes. So for a feeling like anger for example, I look at it and say "hello little friend, thanks so much for trying to help me." Then I give it a little hug, and sometimes that's enough for it to be satisfied and turn around and run away.

Here's another one: Sometime when you're comfortable and have time to think about it, ask yourself "Well, what if people do see me that and think that way about me, what would I want to do about it? Then practice and rehearse that.

Here's another one: Practice thinking about the good in you. You know there is some, don't deny it. Then when you're feeling anxious about how other people see you and what they think of you. I'm not sure that would work with those feelings, but it does wonder for me when I want to lash back at somebody who Done Me Wrong. I think about the best in me, and that's how I want to be, and it all just melts away.

Here's another one: Stop having bad thoughts about other people. Sometimes those bad thought coming from other people are your own bad thoughts about people coming back at you. But that's a big project in itself.

 

[Niatero]

Hello I was wanting some advice on how to not worry about how other people see you and what they think about you. I think this is part of my social anxiety.

Some more thoughts. This is very vague and hazy. Think about different things that could be happening if people are thinking bad thoughts about you. It could be their immaturity, it could be some faults which you already know about and are trying to improve, it could that they're confusing you with someone else., you could be misreading their face and body language, etc. etc.. I guess this would go along with the time for reflection that I suggested. Just go through all the possibilities and say to yourself "Well, what do I think about that? What do I want to do about that?"

 

[Niatero]

Hello I was wanting some advice on how to not worry about how other people see you and what they think about you. I think this is part of my social anxiety.

Here's another one. This one was a big one for me. One time when I was thinking about welcoming all my feelings, including anger and other stigmatized feelings, even despair for example, the thought came to me that I can welcome other people's feelings including their bad feelings towards me. Even if it's all in my imagination, it still works the same way.

 

[Vinayaka]

The other day I figured out (flash of insight?) an affirmation type question to ask yourself when you're thinking a lot about another person. It's a variation on the affirmation, "I'm all right right now." The quest I ask is, "Is ___________ here with me now?" And the answer is 'No', but by thinking about him/her, you're inviting them into your mind, which is close to being physically present.

 

[Ignatius A]

The other day I figured out (flash of insight?) an affirmation type question to ask yourself when you're thinking a lot about another person. It's a variation on the affirmation, "I'm all right right now." The quest I ask is, "Is ___________ here with me now?" And the answer is 'No', but by thinking about him/her, you're inviting them into your mind, which is close to being physically present.

There are only 5 people whose opinion of me I care about and focus on. I care about lots of other peoples opinions of me but I don't focus on them because I'm not responsible for them. Have you ever known someone you bent over backwards to try and make them happy or like you but they still weren't happy or liked you? Of course we all have fun across people like that. That's the futility of living life for other people other than the few whose opinion of you should matter to you.

 

[osgart]

I myself detach from worry and ask myself if I did something wrong or is it that I'm conjuring up things without being reasonable with myself.

If I desire to be fair, then it's important to be fair with myself as well.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Hello I was wanting some advice on how to not worry about how other people see you and what they think about you. I think this is part of my social anxiety.

By not projecting your thoughts on other people. Chances they are not spending significant amounts , if any at all, of time focused specifically on you which is arguably nilly to none.

It's also recommended to apply oneself in kind as well with that assessment, and continue on with life and enjoy things and let the ghosts of thoughts and actions be just that. Ghosts.