How we choose to have children.

[michel]

This was something that never occurred to me until I heard some mention on the radio/T.V (can't remember).
The premise of the discussion was the motive behind any couple deciding to have children; was it a selfish need?( as the programme implied that it was so in most cases) or was it a deliberate act to bring life to a soul?

I must admit, as far as Marie and I were concerned, it was just 'the accepted norm', and we both liked the idea. Has that thought ever crossed the minds of RF parents?

 

[huajiro]

I believe I had my first child for unselfish reasons. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't too old to play with him.....and that he would enjoy me in his life longer (same reason I quit smoking/drinking/eating meat).

The baby we are having now is a blessing as well. I don't know if I am being selfish. I know that I can take good care of him/her from my experience with my first child.

Regardless, once a child comes out.....things are different than anything you expect. I don't see how someone could think about anyone but the child. They deserve so much love.

 

[cardero]

Another perspective would be "how is it that we chose to have the parents we have now?"

 

[Scuba Pete]

We were decieved. If we had known all the work, tears, money and heartache involved, well I am SURE that we would still do it all over again. Same stinking kids too.

 

[Ardhanariswar]

hahah! I guess thats the point of life, as species to reproduce and reproduce.

 

[croak]

We want to have famous kids.

 

[Lightkeeper]

We want to have famous kids.

Be careful what you wish for, Ted Bundy was famous.

 

[jewscout]

because i want to create a family with my wife....or future wife as it were..

 

[jewscout]

We want to have famous kids.

hmmmm Hitler was someone's famous kid

 

[Lycan]

Mine were birthcontrol babies, both of them...
My little wonderful accidents...
They were unexpected, even tried to avoid them, but they really wanted to exist!
I wouldn't trade those little piece of my soul for anything.

 

[michel]

Hey Lycan,

Gifts from God?

 

[anders]

There have been periods in my life when I would have found the thread title an evil joke. I have with some previous partners tried to get a child, but in spite of rather intense efforts involving specialist clinics (not cost free even in Sweden), success was nil, despite the fact that no doctor ever found a medical problem with anyone of us. During those periods, I felt depressed whenever I saw a baby, so it never was a matter of choice.

I must admit that I never gave the question "Why?" very much thought, perhaps in the same way that I never questioned my, then, Christian belief very much. I was probably influenced by all the happy families among my closest relatives, and hoped for a similar life for me and my partner.

Now, I'm reconciled with my fate, and even think that I'm lucky in having no child, no house, no pets, only myself to care for. But arriving at that insight has not been an easy route. I can still be slightly envious when I see my two sisters' children, 5 in all. They're just wonderful in every way. On the other hand, I am also aware that there is no guarantee that the partners in question and me would have been as successful as parents. Moreover, the combination of my best and their best traits would have made marvellous children, talented in so many ways, but I have to realize that the combination of our worst characteristics would have yielded total failures, no good in just as many ways.

 

[Lycan]

Hey Lycan,

Gifts from God?

Which god? I would like to thank him/her/it/them...

 

[michel]

Which god? I would like to thank him/her/it/them...

Hey Lycan,
How about 'your God'? - there is no mention of your belief or disbelief anywhere; sorry If I 'took it for granted'; are you totally 'without affiliation' so to speak (I couldn't find the right word; I hope you understood what I meant)

 

[Lycan]

Hey Lycan,
How about 'your God'? - there is no mention of your belief or disbelief anywhere; sorry If I 'took it for granted'; are you totally 'without affiliation' so to speak (I couldn't find the right word; I hope you understood what I meant)

It keeps me in neural standing...

Actually I am agnostic, I believe there is "divine something" I am just not sure what.

 

[michel]

I hope you find find out what your 'divine something' is; after all there is plenty of choice on this forum!!!!!

 

[Lycan]

I hope you find find out what your 'divine something' is; after all there is plenty of choice on this forum!!!!!

And this is my main reason for debate, to help me in my quest...

 

[cfer]

because i want to create a family with my wife....or future wife as it were..

My fiance and I want to increase the joy and love in this world. What better way to create more love than to create more souls for which to love? :jiggy:

 

[johnnys4life]

I had to have a little girl. I prayed and prayed for a little girl. And I got one! Nearly all my life I have been a mother to a little girl. First to my little sister, then the girls in pre-school where I taught, then my friend's daughter, then suddenly there were no little ones for me to care for and I was so sad. Maybe it was selfish, but I don't think so.

I've got reproductive organs, why not use em? I also have a husband, a home, a lot of love, and live in one of the richest nations in the world, why not share it! The more the merrier. I hope to have at least five so I can name my fifth child Quinn or Quinton, which means "the fifth".

You guys will all thank me when my kids are paying your social security!

My thinking is, there are a lot of people in the world, but not enough really good, kind people, so why not try and counteract the bad uns by raising a few good kids?

 

[Ardhanariswar]

"I've got reproductive organs, why not use em? I also have a husband, a home, a lot of love, and live in one of the richest nations in the world, why not share it! The more the merrier. I hope to have at least five so I can name my fifth child Quinn or Quinton, which means "the fifth". "

good point, but there are some people out there who shouldnt be parents at all. the way they treat thier kids and abuse, its just horrendous. to have children is a privelage, not a right, thats how i see it.