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I am 33 next week. I don't want to live.

Treasure Hunter

Treasure Hunter

Well-Known Member
Think of yourself as a company with an owner, a manager, and workers. Your company has accumulated a lot of debt and the manager has been fired. The part of you that doesn’t want to live anymore is the fired manager. This fired manager points the finger at everyone else and constantly laments his misfortune. Further, he still assumes the position of manager and bosses the workers around as if he hasn’t been fired.

As the owner of the company, it is your duty to step in and confront the fired manager. Simply tell him that he can continue to be around, but he is no longer allowed to manage or interact with the workers in any way.

Your workers deserve better than to go down on the sinking ship the fired manager is in. Think about all they contributed in your martial arts career and in your schooling. It is your responsibility as an owner to care for them and the company as a whole by installing a new manager who can handle the problems of the company.

You must be diligent because the fired manager will habitually attempt to step back into the managerial position. Each time you must confront him. Over and over.
 
ronki23

ronki23

Well-Known Member
Jayhawker Soule said:
@ronki23 :

@Revoltingest and I have been sparring here for years and I don't recall him ever giving me an order. When he says



I'd listen if I were you.
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Brickjectivity said:
Things are probably better here economically, however I do have some similar experience minus the depression drugs.

Being out of work and not progressing forward makes us feel bad and rejected, as if we are ashamed. Irrational shame is a killer of young men, and shame is I think an evolutionary pressure to kill us if we become weak or ill. Its like having an intelligence that is against you, but its actually part of yourself. It causes us to feel immobilized, disinterested, kind of depressed like you mention. So watch out for shame and fight the irrationality of it. You are fighting nature to stay alive.

Just as nature weeds us out in reproductive efforts and selects us to reproduce or not it also tries to kill us if we experience problems. This is its method: temptation to die. We always judge ourselves harshly as we get older. There is a strong judgmental power inside that is always attempting to prosecute and find us unworthy, but it is not powered by rationality. It is simply a normal part of our thoughts, and it is always looking for a way to break us down. I don't know why or how this is, but I conclude it is an evolutionary pressure to cull us. Many do not survive this, and you can always find statistics of men giving up their lives for this reason.

There are anchors that men use to hold we can shake ourselves to action and start to move forward. For a short time anything can be an anchor, such as fun; but there are better anchors. Some men are visionaries and can imagine things getting better. Some have children. Some are focused on some long term thing such as a building. Some chase sexual encounters. Some hunt. Some men go to sea (like in Moby Dick). It is all to escape the irrational judgment in our heads telling us we don't matter.

My anchor was the fear that I would cause my father to have a heart attack. Believe it or not this kept me alive during many years of not wanting to live.

Irrational shame is part of being a man when things go wrong...like the village has been attacked; and the men unable to defend their village will lose their will for a while. It also strikes when we go through a mental transition such as at middle age. Its nature's evil way of killing us when we are weakened, an 'evolutionary pressure'. A man who has sense of pride will recover from illness, will be willing to do projects and will try things. He can go endlessly through opposition, argue with people, fill out forms and feel his way through the dark. This is the battle you are fighting right now, and you must avoid the cycle of irrational shame and get back your strength for the sake of all of the opportunities you are missing. They are passing by, but there will new ones.

I am sorry that you are in darkness right now.
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zacariah88 said:
praying for you know we all have promblems but ask God to help ya
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Treasure Hunter said:
Think of yourself as a company with an owner, a manager, and workers. Your company has accumulated a lot of debt and the manager has been fired. The part of you that doesn’t want to live anymore is the fired manager. This fired manager points the finger at everyone else and constantly laments his misfortune. Further, he still assumes the position of manager and bosses the workers around as if he hasn’t been fired.

As the owner of the company, it is your duty to step in and confront the fired manager. Simply tell him that he can continue to be around, but he is no longer allowed to manage or interact with the workers in any way.

Your workers deserve better than to go down on the sinking ship the fired manager is in. Think about all they contributed in your martial arts career and in your schooling. It is your responsibility as an owner to care for them and the company as a whole by installing a new manager who can handle the problems of the company.

You must be diligent because the fired manager will habitually attempt to step back into the managerial position. Each time you must confront him. Over and over.
Click to expand...

If it makes a difference my Dad has 7 siblings, 3 of them plus Dad himself died ages ago.

The surviving siblings try to take money from us and the siblings Dad got along with. They are parasites who still harass us.

Modern day Kauravas
 
ronki23

ronki23

Well-Known Member
JustGeorge said:
Happy birthday. :)

I hope 33 is a good one, despite any worries about it.
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I forgot to say that in April I got Covid-19 on purpose by sniffing the outside of my mask.

I have had 3 vaccinations: I was eligible for my 4th last October but refused it
 
ronki23

ronki23

Well-Known Member
JustGeorge said:
I guess Kauravas will be Kauravas...

What are they doing to you?
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3 of the siblings are trying to take money / inheritance from the other 3 siblings (2 of the Panadavas died ages ago but were denied their inheritance). 8 siblings in total
 
JustGeorge

JustGeorge

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Ah, that's crappy. Its sad when families let money and want of junk 'n things tear them apart. It happens, though.
 
ronki23

ronki23

Well-Known Member
JustGeorge said:
Ah, that's crappy. Its sad when families let money and want of junk 'n things tear them apart. It happens, though.
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The Kauravas ALREADY have the inheritance: they are trying to take even MORE from us.

That's why I don't want to live
 
JustGeorge

JustGeorge

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
ronki23 said:
The Kauravas ALREADY have the inheritance: they are trying to take even MORE from us.

That's why I don't want to live
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How are you and the other Pandavas handling it? Has this been an ongoing legal battle?
 
JustGeorge

JustGeorge

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
ronki23 said:
Yes. For the past 3 years. It was stepped up further this year.
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When Arjuna didn't want to live because he had to fight his family, Krishna gave us the Gita.

Still, I can't imagine the pain to literally be in such a situation.
 
OnlQQker

OnlQQker

Member
I had never been out of Europe until I had a mad moment and ended up in Meerut, India.

With absolutely no cultural sense, I travelled in a white Nike tracksuit and sleeveless tee shirt. I just imagined it was going to be really hot there.
With the mp3 player around my neck, a baseball cap on my head, and some sunglasses wedged up over the top of that, well I'm sure that they must of thought I was Eminem as I walked through the absolutely rammed airport in New Delhi!

I'm sorry to hear about your friend btw, and hope your birthday last June was ok!

Did you manage to get to the far east?
If so how did it go?

Sorry I'm late to this thread, I only joined the site a couple of days ago!
 
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