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Can i say you Congratulations! ? that for you came to know this truth about yourself today.I think I am deist because I don't really believe in the my religions' scriptures nor it's institutionalization (if that makes sense) and I believe god can be proven through reason. So I am a deist?
Pretend?If life is just to pretend than we can not criticise the Christians for pretending Jesus is god. In fact we have no room to argue anything. I can not be satisfied with pretense. The truth, even if it is contrary to your beliefs, especially if it is contrary to your beliefs, is worth pursuing. The unexaimed life is not worth living (Socrates). I understand and respect your position but it is not enough for me.