I Am Feeling Super Depressed About Something, Help/Advice?

[xkatz]

Hey guys, I have been on these forums a lot lately b/c college is keeping me busy. Hope everyone is doing well

I came here to vent my current emotions.

To be honest, I am feeling extremely depressed and like a total train-wreck. I say this because I am junior in college right now. I am doing okay academically, but it's just that I don't really have a great idea of what I want to do after I graduate (either next spring or something the year after that) and just thinking about it is heart-wrenching to say the very least. I have come up with some ideas already but IDK if they are right for me:

1)Going to graduate school. Not really sure for what yet but IDK if I really want to take on debt for it.
2) Go to rabbinical school; probably the Reconstructionist movement's college. But as with 1 I am not sure if this necessarily right for me but I do enjoy religious study (of course) and find social justice inspiring.
3) Immigrate to Israel and either start from scratch or go to a prestigious university there for grad school. I think it would be neat but it's a very big move and I know I would really miss all my friends and family.
4)Find a job. I really don't know but it's just a thought.

Either way I think it's going to be a painful transition because unlike in my pre-college years I feel like I have really close, dependable friends and a great environment

My major is history, philosophy, and soc of science if that helps with ideas.

So any input?

 

[Slapstick]

Hmm idk. Have you asked what other people plan to do after they graduate? Like those that have the same major as you?

 

[xkatz]

Hmm idk. Have you asked what other people plan to do after they graduate? Like those that have the same major as you?

I have talked to advisors from program but I don't really know anyone in my major ATM (something I should probably do).

On a side-note, could I mod fix the embarrassing grammatical error in my title (should read, "I am")?

 

[lewisnotmiller]

G'day,

Happy to offer my opinions, as long as you take them for what they are worth (ie. approximately a bucket of spit and a banana peel).

1) Be honest with yourself. Are you suggesting options like grad school, rabbinical school or immigration because they are appealing to you in their own right, or because they are a mechanism for postponing the need to get a job, etc. I don't say this from a judgemental point of view. If (for example) rabbinical school is your burning desire, then I'd say go for it. Just be honest with yourself and be certain you're doing it for the right reasons.

2) Whilst you're embarking on an important decision/life juncture, don't OVERemphasise it. I tend to put a lot of weight on decisions, because of my nature. But I'm old enough (38) to look back reflectively and realise that life tends to take you on a journey, no matter how much you convince yourself that you're steering. I was a graduate primary school teacher who regretted not getting into journalism 20 years ago. A lot has happened, and now I'm a self-employed freelance business consultant/PM/prostitute (err...the last is kinda metaphorical) with a couple of kids and a wife I love very much. I've lived in multiple countries in the meantime, and done a whole LOT of stuff that involved no planning whatsoever...despite being generally conservative with decision making.

So, I can't tell you 1,2,3 or 4. I can only suggest to be completely honest with yourself, make the best decision you can, and jump on for the ride. One thing I'm sure of is that you won't end up where you THINK you're going to end up!!

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

On a side-note, could I mod fix the embarrassing grammatical error in my title (should read, "I am")?

Fixed.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

A few thoughts:

- would it be feasible to cover the cost of grad school with scholarships and/or a TA/research assistant position?

- what are you really passionate about? What would you go after if you didn't have any obstacles or limitations?

 

[Thana]

I wouldn't recommend any big moves/big decisions.
I'd stay, Try a few things, Change jobs a few times until you really decide what you want.

 

[emy123]

If you are feeling depressed this would not be the time to make any big changes. I agree with what Thana said, try a few different things to get a feel for what you want. If you jump into something right now...feeling how you are you might be making the decision based on the lower feelings.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Looking at your posts I think it would be a good idea to study divinity, but I think you should do your doctoral thesis on Evangelical Christianity. There are numerous books waiting to be written about it, and I think that it would be interesting to see what you would write. You might actually make some money and do some good for Evangelicals who are at this time in a bad way, some would say doomed. Of course there are many other things you could choose to do instead. Have you thought about signing up for Americorps? Your school debts would be deferred for three years while you worked in charitable businesses at the end of which you could still choose to go back to school or go into the workforce.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Hey guys, I have been on these forums a lot lately b/c college is keeping me busy. Hope everyone is doing well

I came here to vent my current emotions.

To be honest, I am feeling extremely depressed and like a total train-wreck. I say this because I am junior in college right now. I am doing okay academically, but it's just that I don't really have a great idea of what I want to do after I graduate (either next spring or something the year after that) and just thinking about it is heart-wrenching to say the very least. I have come up with some ideas already but IDK if they are right for me:

1)Going to graduate school. Not really sure for what yet but IDK if I really want to take on debt for it.
2) Go to rabbinical school; probably the Reconstructionist movement's college. But as with 1 I am not sure if this necessarily right for me but I do enjoy religious study (of course) and find social justice inspiring.
3) Immigrate to Israel and either start from scratch or go to a prestigious university there for grad school. I think it would be neat but it's a very big move and I know I would really miss all my friends and family.
4)Find a job. I really don't know but it's just a thought.

Either way I think it's going to be a painful transition because unlike in my pre-college years I feel like I have really close, dependable friends and a great environment

My major is history, philosophy, and soc of science if that helps with ideas.

So any input?

Welcome back. :hug:

My thoughts are that right now, the depression (assuming it's situational and not a chemical imbalance) is stemming from a feeling of helplessness. It sounds to me that you're seeing yourself as unable to offer something of value to the world right now. There's a lot of thinking of "Once I get _____, then I can do _____."

I employ recent college graduates who are experiencing much of the same emotions. And it's not very new, when we all go through major life transitions such as making these education/work/residence decisions, we're faced with the question of "what do I have to bring into this string of possibilities?"

If we don't think we have something to bring with us, people tend to either retreat/contract in depression or explode/run-in-circles in anxiety. That feeling of helplessness can literally paralyze us when life and time continues to keep marching unapologetically forward.

The most empowering change of mindset I believe we can offer ourselves is looking at the moment of now. Focusing on taking each step mindfully and focused on simply doing what it takes to take that step. It's a mental exercise that (of course) employs meditation techniques, but I have found it to be a valuable exercise in taking the mind out of "I don't know what to do" and feeling overwhelmed or helpless, and into "Right foot forward, left foot forward..."

It's what has helped me. Best wishes to you.

 

[HonestJoe]

It sounds like you're in a not dissimilar situation that I was in college. I also had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and there was already a big push to apply to Universities. I'm glad I resisted making a decision at that point and instead focused on completing my college courses.

I'll admit that it was a better general economic environment back then but after college I got a basic job, enough to keep me going and give me a bit of breathing room to decide what to do with my life. I got a (mostly to be fair) great life and work experience, actually saved a little money and ended up going to University the next year, in a course I probably wouldn't have considered from college.