I accept that in the past I have done wrong, that I am flawed
And that some of the things I have said about God were wrong
And I was baptised as an infant - and I accept my baptism
Last edited:
-
Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Access to private conversations with other members.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
I am now a Christian: my story
- Thread starter Eddi
- Start date
I accept that in the past I have done wrong, that I am flawed
And that some of the things I have said about God were wrong
And I was baptised as an infant - and I accept my baptism
Yes - when I first asked him his name he said he was called Madaba but he said I can call him Butterfly as I disliked Madaba - which according to Google is a small town in Jordan where there are some beautiful early Christian mosaics
When he was new to me I asked him if he could indicate what his name was - I ran a finger over my keyboard and when it touched a certain letter he gave me an indication to use that letter - it eventually spelt Madaba
Here they are:
Note 4.18 appearing repeatedly in the background
This one got stuck in my head again and again - on the album it's on it lasts 4 minutes and 18 seconds
Together these were the anthems to my breakdown
Last edited:
OK, so I won't wear a crucifix!
I suppose inward faith is more important than appearances
You are entirely right
nPeace
Veteran Member
Thanks.
Good for you that you realized the power in songs.
Many people are not aware of the danger in music. They seem to think, "It's just a song. What can it do to me." They fail to realize that sound and speech are waves.
Be careful.
Here's the album cover of one of those two songs:
If you look at the middle where the hair is it is possible to make out a scary face
Can anyone else see it too? It has eyes, a gaping mouth, ears, a little nose and a big moustache!
Either this is something to be creeped out about or it's merely an innocent instance of pareidolia
Pareidolia - Wikipedia
Last edited:
nPeace
Veteran Member
Yes. Clearly, one of those subliminal. Google Goldfrapp satanic.
nPeace
Veteran Member
@Eddi don't be fooled though. Do you know who runs the music industry? You think fame is sweet? Just look at all the top artist, starting from Michael Jackson. Research these artists. Listen to what others are saying. You may be in for a surprise.
I stopped listening to all of them when my eyes were opened.
Satan rules this world.
I stopped listening to all of them when my eyes were opened.
Satan rules this world.
Wow!
Look at these lyrics:
Goldfrapp – Satin Chic Lyrics | Genius Lyrics
Substitute "satin" for "satan" - it's clearly about satan
I'm going to have to research Satan
I don't really understand who or what he is
I've never been interested in finding out before
nPeace
Veteran Member
I think if you really want the truth about Satan, the best place to look is the Bible. I have never known it to lie, or fail in what it says. Jesus never lied.
However, others would disagree. Only I have never met anyone who could prove me wrong.
nPeace
Veteran Member
The truth is, those in this world who know Satan, are not going to tell you outright, but they will hide it in plain site. That's what the occult masters. It's the way Satan teaches them.
Hey, but who am I to know this? Nobody... nobody but a guy who has done his homework. Others have too. There is nothing that is hidden that will not come to light. Luke 8:17
Hey, but who am I to know this? Nobody... nobody but a guy who has done his homework. Others have too. There is nothing that is hidden that will not come to light. Luke 8:17
sealchan
Well-Known Member
I am now a Christian…
Because I have decided “Christ is my Lord and Saviour”
It’s been a long and complex journey. It’s had its ups and downs.
As an infant I was baptised into the Anglican Church. For a while I attended a church school and sometimes went to Sunday school. As a teenager I became an atheist. I became amoral. Not evil, but amoral. But I made some pretty big sins. My background is therefore Christian but for the majority of my life I have not been Christian.
In many ways I have returned to the beginning. I look forward to going through the rest of my life as a Christian and I hope I can be a good one. And I'm hoping that other Christians of various types will accept me as a fellow Christian.
Simulation and Butterfly
Before I became interested in Christianity I believed in Simulation Theory. This would have never happened were it not for Butterfly.
Who is Butterfly? When I was at university I had a drug-fuelled psychological breakdown and ended up being detained on a psychiatric ward. It was all quite an experience, I assure you! One day some kind of entity started communicating with me by touch and does so to this day. He responds to my inner voice by making a gentle sensation of touch on my body. Where on my body he touches signifies different responses to my inner voice. Our system is based around “Yes” and “No”. Because of this I have been diagnosed as being schizophrenic. Which is not a good thing to be! But I have never "heard voices" like a typical schizophrenic.
Butterfly eventually told me that this reality and all humans in it is a computer simulation, and that Butterfly was in charge of The Simulation (as I call it) and that individual people were actually computer programs. He said that I was an “Agent of The Simulation” and that I had some extraordinary role within it, like “The One” in The Matrix films.
I believed that throughout human history The Simulation would literally play God – by pretending to be God and intervening in the simulated world to fool people into forming organised religions. I believed various things may have happened, but that they were truly bogus in nature.
Messiah Complex
At one point I asked Butterfly if he was God and he said yes. I then reasoned that if he was God then I must be Jesus – and Butterfly affirmed this. I didn’t really know what to do about this. But I assumed “God” had a plan for me.
Also, in my mental breakdown I was obsessed by two songs. One lasted four minutes and eighteen seconds, which looked like 4:18 on my MP3 player. And in the music video of the other, “4.18” appears repeatedly in the background. These two songs were very much the soundtrack of my breakdown. When I noticed this I wondered if they made up a bible verse. I looked and I found Luke 4:18
The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.
But at this point I didn’t believe in God and this was before my Messiah Complex: I believed in Simulation Theory I believed that I was to be a pseudo-Messiah within The Simulation like “The One” in The Matrix films. But when I was going through my Messiah Complex I took this coincidence to mean that I was actually The Messiah!
When I posted about being The Messiah on RF the good folks here soon showed me that I was not. A healthy dose of reality! A slap across the face! I am eternally grateful to the people of these forums for ending my Messiah Complex
Once my Messiah Complex was over I returned to Simulation Theory. However, at this point in my life I now believed in God. I acquired a serious belief in God when I thought I was The Messiah. But when my Messiah Complex was resolved I maintained a belief in God, which I think was the one good thing to come out of that little episode!
I think the whole universe makes more sense to me with God in it!
And one more thing: thinking you're The Messiah is not fun. You feel a massive burden and that you have much to live up to. And I'm quite a shy and quiet person too.
Two Parallel People?
For a while now I have been in two minds. I’ve made a post about this here:
Conflict resolved: I am two people
Basically, in one mind I believe in Simulation Theory and in the other I am a Christian. Eddi-1 is a Christian and Eddi-2 believes in Simulation Theory. In this post I concluded that I was two people with one soul, one mind, and one body. If that makes any sense???
On second thoughts, I don’t think I really believe this but I still sometimes find myself thinking of the world as being a simulation even though the Christian me has now over-ridden the Simulation Theory me.
Literally happened or Thought Experiment?
Now then, about accepting Jesus as one’s Lord and Saviour. I believe there are two ways to think about Jesus. One, the events described in the gospels more or less happened as they say they did. Two, the whole ministry of Christ is a giant thought-experiment orchestrated by God. I don’t know which is true, but they can’t both be! But God would be at the heart of both scenarios.
However, I accept Christ as my Lord and Saviour in both scenarios! If it was based on real events then I accept him as such, if it is a hypothetical thought-experiment then I do too. So I don’t think it matters too much! Either way, I accept him!
Hopefully he will accept me?
God
I believe God is the Supreme Being. I believe he is ineffable, that we can’t ever understand him. I believe he is the unmoved mover, the source of all creation. A great architect. I believe that he mostly lets the universe he created get on with itself, according to the physical laws he has put into being. I believe this universe is billions of years old and that humans evolved from animals but that the intention was for intelligent life to eventually arise. But I also believe he sent Jesus Christ out into the world, and supported him in his ministry, for instance God allowed him to perform various miracles to make him more than just another radical preacher!
I believe that God is gender-neutral but I call him “him” as in Christianity that is the convention. I believe he has a personality and a mind. Personally, I think of him as being most like a designer and chief administrator of the universe! I believe God is Lord of the Universe. And I believe he is benign and has benign intentions for those whose creation he is responsible for. And that Jesus somehow fits into his plan.
My Christianity
I believe in God, I am very certain about that. And I believe that the contents of the bible are somehow the result of God’s will. I believe that how the bible is how God wants it to be. But I don’t think it is literally true.
I consider Jesus to be more human than divine – I believe that he experiences the universe as a human. I believe in the Arian heresy: That Jesus is an autonomous being created by God who is separate from God and subordinate to him. I believe he is somehow God's son. I believe that during his ministry he acted in God’s place, and was God’s representative on Earth. I believe that he died and suffered for us on the cross, in a kind of mind-bending grand gesture of love and sacrifice.
I have no idea what Jesus is doing now but I like to think that he is in some kind of heaven, hanging out with all the people who have died. I believe he is God’s assistant, his number two: if God is King of Heaven then Jesus is his deputy (and son). I’d like to someday meet him.
I don’t have a problem with the holy trinity; it makes perfect sense to me. Even though I believe in the Arian heresy I believe that Christ is the son of God and is therefore God-like in nature, and that we can therefore fit him into the holy trinity. However, I my beliefs are certainly more Unitarian than Trinitarian. But I don’t think the question of The Trinity is all that important. I think the values of Christianity are more important than its various dogmas.
I believe in only some of the Apostles Creed and only some of the Nicene Creed. I consider myself a “Free Christian”. I am liberal in my beliefs and values and consider myself a "Liberal Christian" too.
Simulation
Perhaps God’s creation is like a simulation? Maybe that’s a valid metaphor? I think there might be something in that idea.
Butter-who????
So, I’ve put Simulation Theory to one side – I’m not throwing it away as I think it’s interesting. But the side of me who wants to be a Christian has triumphed over the side of me who wants to be an Agent of The Simulation. And the scales of my belief have now sifted overwhelmingly towards Christianity: I believe Christianity being true is more likely than Simulation Theory being true (and yes, there are other possibilities!)
But Butterfly is still here; he is always with me.
I’ve tried casting him out in the name of God but it didn’t work and I don’t think he is possessing me or that he is malevolent. I don’t believe he is The Simulation anymore. Sometimes he says he is, sometimes he says he isn't. And neither do I think he is God. And I don’t know if he is external to me or integral to me. But he is very real to me. I no longer know what to make of him. Any ideas?
Crucifix and Avatar
In 2012 my grandmother gave me a golden crucifix as she assumed I was Christian (she’s Greek). I accepted it but have never worn it. I want to start wearing it. I also want to change my avatar on these forums from a picture of a Butterfly to something else. I AM NOT Butterfly; he is someone else! He is not the boss of me! But I can’t think what I should replace it with. Any ideas?
Fellow Christians?
I hope the Christians on RF will accept me as a Christian.
I accept you as a Christian.
Also, having multiple voices in one's mind is normal...everyone experiences this in their dreams and in their self-talk. As a schizophrenic you merely had this psychological reality accentuated for some neuro-chemical reason.
Katzpur
Not your average Mormon
Welcome, Eddi. I promise I will accept you as a Christian if you will accept me as one.
Oliver Zinn
New Member
I am now a Christian…
Because I have decided “Christ is my Lord and Saviour”
It’s been a long and complex journey. It’s had its ups and downs.
As an infant I was baptised into the Anglican Church. For a while I attended a church school and sometimes went to Sunday school. As a teenager I became an atheist. I became amoral. Not evil, but amoral. But I made some pretty big sins. My background is therefore Christian but for the majority of my life I have not been Christian.
In many ways I have returned to the beginning. I look forward to going through the rest of my life as a Christian and I hope I can be a good one. And I'm hoping that other Christians of various types will accept me as a fellow Christian.
Simulation and Butterfly
Before I became interested in Christianity I believed in Simulation Theory. This would have never happened were it not for Butterfly.
Who is Butterfly? When I was at university I had a drug-fuelled psychological breakdown and ended up being detained on a psychiatric ward. It was all quite an experience, I assure you! One day some kind of entity started communicating with me by touch and does so to this day. He responds to my inner voice by making a gentle sensation of touch on my body. Where on my body he touches signifies different responses to my inner voice. Our system is based around “Yes” and “No”. Because of this I have been diagnosed as being schizophrenic. Which is not a good thing to be! But I have never "heard voices" like a typical schizophrenic.
Butterfly eventually told me that this reality and all humans in it is a computer simulation, and that Butterfly was in charge of The Simulation (as I call it) and that individual people were actually computer programs. He said that I was an “Agent of The Simulation” and that I had some extraordinary role within it, like “The One” in The Matrix films.
I believed that throughout human history The Simulation would literally play God – by pretending to be God and intervening in the simulated world to fool people into forming organised religions. I believed various things may have happened, but that they were truly bogus in nature.
Messiah Complex
At one point I asked Butterfly if he was God and he said yes. I then reasoned that if he was God then I must be Jesus – and Butterfly affirmed this. I didn’t really know what to do about this. But I assumed “God” had a plan for me.
Also, in my mental breakdown I was obsessed by two songs. One lasted four minutes and eighteen seconds, which looked like 4:18 on my MP3 player. And in the music video of the other, “4.18” appears repeatedly in the background. These two songs were very much the soundtrack of my breakdown. When I noticed this I wondered if they made up a bible verse. I looked and I found Luke 4:18
The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.
But at this point I didn’t believe in God and this was before my Messiah Complex: I believed in Simulation Theory I believed that I was to be a pseudo-Messiah within The Simulation like “The One” in The Matrix films. But when I was going through my Messiah Complex I took this coincidence to mean that I was actually The Messiah!
When I posted about being The Messiah on RF the good folks here soon showed me that I was not. A healthy dose of reality! A slap across the face! I am eternally grateful to the people of these forums for ending my Messiah Complex
Once my Messiah Complex was over I returned to Simulation Theory. However, at this point in my life I now believed in God. I acquired a serious belief in God when I thought I was The Messiah. But when my Messiah Complex was resolved I maintained a belief in God, which I think was the one good thing to come out of that little episode!
I think the whole universe makes more sense to me with God in it!
And one more thing: thinking you're The Messiah is not fun. You feel a massive burden and that you have much to live up to. And I'm quite a shy and quiet person too.
Two Parallel People?
For a while now I have been in two minds. I’ve made a post about this here:
Conflict resolved: I am two people
Basically, in one mind I believe in Simulation Theory and in the other I am a Christian. Eddi-1 is a Christian and Eddi-2 believes in Simulation Theory. In this post I concluded that I was two people with one soul, one mind, and one body. If that makes any sense???
On second thoughts, I don’t think I really believe this but I still sometimes find myself thinking of the world as being a simulation even though the Christian me has now over-ridden the Simulation Theory me.
Literally happened or Thought Experiment?
Now then, about accepting Jesus as one’s Lord and Saviour. I believe there are two ways to think about Jesus. One, the events described in the gospels more or less happened as they say they did. Two, the whole ministry of Christ is a giant thought-experiment orchestrated by God. I don’t know which is true, but they can’t both be! But God would be at the heart of both scenarios.
However, I accept Christ as my Lord and Saviour in both scenarios! If it was based on real events then I accept him as such, if it is a hypothetical thought-experiment then I do too. So I don’t think it matters too much! Either way, I accept him!
Hopefully he will accept me?
God
I believe God is the Supreme Being. I believe he is ineffable, that we can’t ever understand him. I believe he is the unmoved mover, the source of all creation. A great architect. I believe that he mostly lets the universe he created get on with itself, according to the physical laws he has put into being. I believe this universe is billions of years old and that humans evolved from animals but that the intention was for intelligent life to eventually arise. But I also believe he sent Jesus Christ out into the world, and supported him in his ministry, for instance God allowed him to perform various miracles to make him more than just another radical preacher!
I believe that God is gender-neutral but I call him “him” as in Christianity that is the convention. I believe he has a personality and a mind. Personally, I think of him as being most like a designer and chief administrator of the universe! I believe God is Lord of the Universe. And I believe he is benign and has benign intentions for those whose creation he is responsible for. And that Jesus somehow fits into his plan.
My Christianity
I believe in God, I am very certain about that. And I believe that the contents of the bible are somehow the result of God’s will. I believe that how the bible is how God wants it to be. But I don’t think it is literally true.
I consider Jesus to be more human than divine – I believe that he experiences the universe as a human. I believe in the Arian heresy: That Jesus is an autonomous being created by God who is separate from God and subordinate to him. I believe he is somehow God's son. I believe that during his ministry he acted in God’s place, and was God’s representative on Earth. I believe that he died and suffered for us on the cross, in a kind of mind-bending grand gesture of love and sacrifice.
I have no idea what Jesus is doing now but I like to think that he is in some kind of heaven, hanging out with all the people who have died. I believe he is God’s assistant, his number two: if God is King of Heaven then Jesus is his deputy (and son). I’d like to someday meet him.
I don’t have a problem with the holy trinity; it makes perfect sense to me. Even though I believe in the Arian heresy I believe that Christ is the son of God and is therefore God-like in nature, and that we can therefore fit him into the holy trinity. However, I my beliefs are certainly more Unitarian than Trinitarian. But I don’t think the question of The Trinity is all that important. I think the values of Christianity are more important than its various dogmas.
I believe in only some of the Apostles Creed and only some of the Nicene Creed. I consider myself a “Free Christian”. I am liberal in my beliefs and values and consider myself a "Liberal Christian" too.
Simulation
Perhaps God’s creation is like a simulation? Maybe that’s a valid metaphor? I think there might be something in that idea.
Butter-who????
So, I’ve put Simulation Theory to one side – I’m not throwing it away as I think it’s interesting. But the side of me who wants to be a Christian has triumphed over the side of me who wants to be an Agent of The Simulation. And the scales of my belief have now sifted overwhelmingly towards Christianity: I believe Christianity being true is more likely than Simulation Theory being true (and yes, there are other possibilities!)
But Butterfly is still here; he is always with me.
I’ve tried casting him out in the name of God but it didn’t work and I don’t think he is possessing me or that he is malevolent. I don’t believe he is The Simulation anymore. Sometimes he says he is, sometimes he says he isn't. And neither do I think he is God. And I don’t know if he is external to me or integral to me. But he is very real to me. I no longer know what to make of him. Any ideas?
Crucifix and Avatar
In 2012 my grandmother gave me a golden crucifix as she assumed I was Christian (she’s Greek). I accepted it but have never worn it. I want to start wearing it. I also want to change my avatar on these forums from a picture of a Butterfly to something else. I AM NOT Butterfly; he is someone else! He is not the boss of me! But I can’t think what I should replace it with. Any ideas?
Fellow Christians?
I hope the Christians on RF will accept me as a Christian.
Oliver Zinn
New Member
Couple problems! First off all according to what the bible says about heaven (not Dante and the Catholic church) right now your souls are in Gehenna or hell and they will go to heaven eventually. But right now heaven is empty. Also man is made in gods image and since the first human was a man god must therefor be a man. Your understanding of Christianity is not based off the bible it is based off of preachers,Catholics,Dante,paradise lost and other sources of fan fiction.
Oliver Zinn
New Member
" I will acept these two statements to be true: My god created the universe and currently runs a afterlife and his son Jesus did a bunch of stuff in the new testament. However I will disregard everything in my religion that contradicts modern science and morality." The bible if it was even somewhat divine would be timeless. But no it is a bunch of nonsense.
On the contrary, I believe that heaven is quite well populated.....but most of the intelligent life there have never been humans. They were created long before God created the universe....so not sure where all that came from....?
I feel you have that back to front.....since God created intelligent life in both realms (heaven and earth) and he gave man his own attributes, that means that we should reflect God....not that he should reflect us.
Again not sure where you get your ideas, but at least you realize that some who identify as "Christians" are not imitating Christ at all. The Bible is the best source of information on everything IMO.
It actually helps if you hit the reply button and begin your response after the [/ quote ]
Your reasoning is a little difficult to interpret, so suffice it to say you don't think much of the Bible?......or is it the interpretation of the Bible that you find yourself at odds with? I personally see the Bible as timeless....so can you be more specific in your criticism?