I can't understand why my dad is miserable ?

[SalixIncendium]

He said he is not depressed.

How have you determined he's depressed?

 

[Massimo2002]

How have you determined he's depressed?

Because he comes home and most of the time complains and yells about something. No happy person does that.

 

[SalixIncendium]

That's probably it my dad is a workaholic and I can tell that it's definitely bringing him down.

I, too, am a workaholic. Mention work; I get drunk.

 

[Revoltingest]

There is nothing wrong physically with my dad so it has to be mental but I wonder what it is Perhaps OCD Or Depression Or Both ? What really sucks is just like my mom he won't tell me if he has any mental illnesses.

Advise him to seek counseling.
It should help.

 

[JustGeorge]

Because he comes home and most of the time complains and yells about something. No happy person does that.

I agree, happy people don't tend to do that.

I've noticed some people go about complaining for so long, they don't know how to communicate if they're not complaining.

Might he have developed this habit?

 

[Massimo2002]

I agree, happy people don't tend to do that. I've noticed some people go about complaining for so long, they don't know how to communicate if they're not complaining. Might he have developed this habit?

from what you described it sounds like my dad has this habit but I have no idea where he got it from.

 

[JustGeorge]

from what you described it sounds like my dad has this habit but I have no idea where he got it from.

Has he always been like that?

 

[Quagmire]

A lot of people are miserable because they like being miserable, crazy as that sounds.

For a lot of people, anger and self-pity are a lot like alcohol is for an alcoholic: it makes you feel good at first, but it's hard to stop indulging even after it doesn't feel good anymore.

One key thing to remember is that it isn't about you. If he's coming home looking for things to get angry about he's going to find them no matter what you do.

He's angry at life, not you.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

My dad is so miserable and depressed but yet he doesn't even have much to be miserable and depressed about in the first place perhaps he is one of those narcissistic people that projects there unhappiness and frustration onto everyone else ?

I beg your pardon? Depression is not usually connected with narcissism. Most depressed people tend to withdraw from others rather than seek attention, and even with those who are attention seekers, they are simply trying to get some very real needs met.

Depression can either be a response to life being especially bad, or it can be a delayed response to trauma, or, in some circumstances, it can simply be biological bad luck messing with a person's brain wiring. Sometimes its due to medical conditions such as hypothyroidism, or can be a side effect from medication. Sometimes depression is the result of alcohol or drug abuse. Chronic lack of sleep can trigger depression.

I asked ChatGPT to give me a list of the most common reasons for depression among older adults such as your father, and this is what it offered me:

1. Biological Factors: Changes in brain chemistry and hormonal imbalances can contribute to depression in older adults.
2. Genetic Predisposition: A family history of depression or mental illness can increase the risk.
3. Chronic Health Conditions: Physical ailments like chronic pain, heart disease, diabetes, or cancer can exacerbate feelings of depression.
4. Medication Side Effects: Certain medications used to treat common age-related conditions may have side effects that contribute to depression.
5. Loss and Grief: Experiencing the death of loved ones, friends, or pets, as well as retirement, loss of independence, or social isolation, can trigger depression.
6. Loneliness and Social Isolation: Older adults may experience a decrease in social interactions due to factors like retirement, mobility issues, or the loss of friends and family members, leading to feelings of loneliness and depression.
7. Financial Strain: Economic instability, particularly in retirement, can contribute to stress and depression.
8. Life Transitions: Adjusting to major life changes such as moving to a nursing home, assisted living facility, or a new environment can be emotionally challenging.
9. Cognitive Decline: Cognitive impairment or dementia can lead to feelings of frustration, confusion, and depression.
10. Substance Abuse: Misuse of alcohol, prescription medications, or other substances can exacerbate or trigger depression.
11. Lack of Purpose: Retiring from a career or losing a sense of purpose can lead to feelings of worthlessness or depression.
12. Sleep Issues: Insomnia or disruptions in sleep patterns are common among older adults and can contribute to depression.
13. Stress: Coping with multiple stressors such as caregiving responsibilities or financial worries can increase the risk of depression.