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I hate myself

Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
SalixIncendium said:
A few.

What compelled you to share this tidbit?

What is it you expect to gain by sharing it?

What, if anything, do you hope to do about it to affect change?

What do you need from us?
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It was 4am and I felt disgusted by myself, I had to do something.

Nothing. Oh, except temporary relief of saying out oud something that is true.

Idk

Nothing.
 
stvdv

stvdv

Veteran Member
Srivijaya said:
The correlation is like a smoking gun. Evidence, but not so 'obvious' at first glance.

It's normal to dislike certain individuals who behave badly towards us but when this expands to become a general misanthropy and disdain of everyone, it's evidence of an internal process which usually goes unnoticed.

There are two key poisons which arise from unknowing; desire and aversion. Most people cultivate a blend of the two but in extreme cases, an individual maxes-out on one. Aversion is a catch-all phrase which encompasses a full range of negative emotions from depression, feelings of superiority, animosity, disdain, anger etc all the way up to raging hatred.

Like desire, it's a nutriment - something the ego-mind feeds on and defines itself by. It's a poison because it spreads and infects the whole system and those it comes into contact with. Of course there are always unique and different 'justifications' for each and every instance of aversion, (it's all part of the game) but the process becomes a familiar one. Shifting aversion from one object to another becomes habitual and very difficult to break out of.
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Speaking from my own experience. I used to be a pleaser [NO was not in my vacabulary]. Attracting narcissists, abusing my goodness, created hate in me. Then I learned selfrespect. Aversion towards narcissisists is a good first step. Kicking all N's out. Now I love narcissisists like I love tigres; preferably behind bars from a distance. Aversion is gone, because I give only 1 warning now [N. never changes + I owe my Self good company]. I am realistic "quite a few humans decide to be mean and I decide to avoid those". If sorry is said, he gets 1 more chance [good way to avoid "negative emotions" + develop selfless (not stupid) love]. Works perfect. Leaves only good company.
 
A Vestigial Mote

A Vestigial Mote

Well-Known Member
Axe Elf said:
Do you mean in the Biblical sense of "to love less"? If so, then I guess you've achieved what we are all encouraged to do!

Congratulations!

I always hate when people say that you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. No, really, you need to hate yourself first (in the Biblical sense, anyway) before you can truly love anyone else.
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There is absolutely no need to "hate" yourself. "Love yourself less" in a particular sense I can see... but "hating" yourself is a complete contradiction to nature. Meaning that I don't believe one can find a balanced state of mind/being/emotion while "hating" oneself. Even if only because it cuts against the grain of our animal self-preservation instinct.

Do you think a dog, cat, cow, sheep, pig, bear, etc. EVER "hate" themselves? They don't even have the concept available to them... that's how unnatural something like that is.
 
stvdv

stvdv

Veteran Member
Axe Elf said:
No, really, you need to hate yourself first (in the Biblical sense, anyway) before you can truly love anyone else
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I think you mean we have to transcend our lower self, before we can truly LOVE the Higher Self.
"Love my feeling", also "my hate feeling" was needed, before hate could be transformed into Love
 
Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
allfoak said:
No. I think what you said is clear. What is there to argue about?
Should I tell you that you shouldn't do something that you have every right to do?
I just don't see the point to the thread.
Perhaps it is just a way to get attention?
Idk
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Yes. Every post and thread I write here is really nothing but whoring around for attention. It would be ridiculous to type at all if you only wish to be ignored.
 
Jumi

Jumi

Well-Known Member
Shushersbedamned said:
It sucks. I tried for years to go against my intuition and my beliefs and kept myself open to the people around me, but with their ignorance and arrogance they can easily defeat me without even trying.
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So you're competitive because you think you're being defeated or that you are defeating others? To me it sounds like you don't challenge yourself enough.

Shushersbedamned said:
Because it's no obstacle for them that they are not smarter. Only I - and some others - feel the weight of it. So for the sake of my well being I keep the crowd at a distance and only let few and chosen to get in touch with the real me so to speak.
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You believe you are above others?

Shushersbedamned said:
Whether this is good, smart or right I do not know. I do it bc it feels like a nesessity. Saves energy for things I have real interest in.
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Well what are you interested in?
 
Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Jumi said:
So you're competitive because you think you're being defeated or that you are defeating others? To me it sounds like you don't challenge yourself enough.


You believe you are above others?


Well what are you interested in?
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Lol.
Well no
All sorts of things.
 
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