Hello everyone,
So I am currently a 21 year old in college and I am on top of my academics, never do drugs/drink and have a great social life. However, I have had a bad habit of masturbating ever since I was in the 9th grade. I can remember definitively that I have always had a guilty consciousness after I did it and have made numerous attempts to stop. I swore to god multiple times saying that I would stop, thinking to myself that, that should enough of an incentive to quit. However, I have failed repeatedly and it's always that.... once that feeling of arousal comes over me especially when I am trying to sleep then it's just like a whole another mind takes over and it becomes very hard to control. Even this past new year, I made a promise to god that I would stop it for good and change any bad things about my self ( I am very religious, read the lord's book and try to implement good habits as much as possible; however, I am not perfect and tend to make mistakes which I want to fix). In exchange, I asked for good grades in my academics, which I received through his grace.
Sadly, I haven't been able to keep up my promise and I am hating myself for it; he does so much for me, and I can't even control this stupid habit. If anyone has any suggestions on how to stop that would be great. My main trouble is at night when I am trying to fall asleep and I get aroused which is almost impossible to stop for me; so if you can tell me what to do in this instance, I would greatly appreciate it.
EDIT--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is different in my eyes.
Thank you
I'll start by saying that masturbating is not a stupid habit! it is NOT something you should ever feel ashamed about regardless of you beliefs.
You are a young male, with a high sexual desire. that great! you shouldn't feel bad about it.
If, however, you really feel you want to at least lower the times you masturbate, you should without a doubt start by lowering the amount of porn you consume.
I know, i know, people here might say it is nonsense, but porn is a very bad thing. not because God said so or because it is a sin, i don't care about such things, porn is bad because it teaches you how
not to lead a good sexual life!
What porn does is basically raise the sexual arousal in your brain very fast, this in turn makes your brain to always want more and more arousal and eventually you might even not be able to arouse yourself without porn.
I would start with teaching yourself to pleasure yourself without the need for porn. use your imagination and not external aids.
Once you will be able to do so, your desire for masturbation will be much more controlled. masturbating is not harmful unless (like any other thing) it is done without control.
So start by learning how to control yourself.
Masturbate only when you really feel you need it and not out of boredom.
Learn to value the feeling you get out of it and not make it a casual thing.
If indeed as you say you really want to avoid masturbation at all, i would suggest taking much caution about it. there is a reason why young people masturbate. it is a great relief (mental besides the obvious physical) and can lead to healthier sex life.
If you are feeling guilty, I suggest talking to a professional (not a religious one) that can help you ease the guilt.
the way to achieve control is not by making promises to god (especially ones you can't really keep), rather learning how to achieve the control level you desire.
BTW, the masturbation it self is not the real issue when it comes to religion and "sin". you will not burn in hell for masturbating. it is simply a question of being able to control your desires and not letting them control you.
Start slow, and change your habits in a gradual way.
Good luck
