I told you that my sexual problems were from unholy influence... I was right!

[whereismynotecard]

Wait. So wouldn't that make it invisible? Is that actually beneficial?

That's probably why it looked like he didn't have a penis at all. There was probably another ring, and Smeagol wore it on his penis, making both the ring and the penis invisible. That would explain a lot.

 

[Vile Atheist]

Tolkien, that S.O.B, hiding that little factoid in there!

 

[whereismynotecard]

Tolkien, that S.O.B, hiding that little factoid in there!

Well... We figured it out. We should publish a LOTR Companion Book, which will say the following:

"In addition to everything else in the books, Smeagol also had a pencil dick hidden by another 'one ring,' so there were actually two rings. One ring the first, and one ring the second. One ring the second is the one Gollum wears on his pencil dick. Also, Frodo Baggins later had a beautiful chocolate puppy named after him, but Smeagol didn't, because no one likes a pencil dick."

 

[Vile Atheist]

I've never been more intrigued in Lord of the Rings.

 

[whereismynotecard]

I've never been more intrigued in Lord of the Rings.

Are you going to re-read it now? You can make notes in the margins about where mention of Smeagol's pencil dick should be added.

 

[Vile Atheist]

If only I had the time lol

 

[whereismynotecard]

I'm going to check out every copy of LOTR from the library and add it in. People deserve to know.

 

[Vile Atheist]

You are a service to the world, good sir!

 

[T-Dawg]

I was refering to the scene in the movie where Smeagol was talking to his alternate personality, Gollum, and ordered it to go away...

 

[Vile Atheist]

Yeah. No kidding. He was masturbating. I wouldn't want people watching, either.

 

[captainjeph]

Yeah. No kidding. He was masturbating. I wouldn't want people watching, either.

I don't know it's always fun when my alternate personality's watch me.

 

[captainjeph]

now on a serious note masturbation is not evil, it's a natural way of releasing your sexual urges. Monkeys do it all the time in the wild.

 

[T-Dawg]

Why do people keep necroing my old topics?

Anyways, on topic, I still masturbate, but The Evil is having a harder time using sexuality as a weapon against me.

 

[Vile Atheist]

Whenever you get the urge, just picture yourself being born.

 

[T-Dawg]

Whenever you get the urge, just picture yourself being born.

Hmm, I see me being shoved through a vagina... not exactly a turn off .

 

[Vile Atheist]

You realize it's your MOTHER'S vagina lol?

 

[DarkSun]

Is the OP serious? I can't tell.

 

[T-Dawg]

You realize it's your MOTHER'S vagina lol?

Your point?

Is the OP serious? I can't tell.

... How the heck could you possibly think I was joking?!?

 

[DarkSun]

Your point?

Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Panda]

How the heck could you possibly think I was joking?!?

Wait, that was serious! I thought it was a joke also.