"I Will Pray for You"

[Quintessence]

When someone says "I'll pray for you", there are two possibilities. One is that you're sick or something, and a caring person wants to pray for you. This is wonderful, and I would fully accept the prayers. The second, and much more common possibility, as that "I'll pray for you" essentially equates to "you're a lost cause/evil/stupid/etc and only god can help you". There's nothing friendly about that.

I can't say I've ever had anyone use this supposedly "common" possibility, nor can I think of anyone I know who has.

 

[Draka]

When someone says "I'll pray for you", there are two possibilities. One is that you're sick or something, and a caring person wants to pray for you. This is wonderful, and I would fully accept the prayers. The second, and much more common possibility, as that "I'll pray for you" essentially equates to "you're a lost cause/evil/stupid/etc and only god can help you". There's nothing friendly about that.

I simply don't see it as the "much more common" possibility. I see people saying that they will pray for others a lot, and just about every single time it has to do with some kind of hardship. The disdainful one is usually in the minority when it comes to it being said. Yes, it can be said how you describe, and it is insulting, it just isn't the norm by far.

 

[Senseless]

It does evoke an emotional reaction if it said by a believer of my former denomination, but I'm aware of it and can differentiate between someone's sincere concern, which I do appreciate, and a mere mental association with the people who have actually done harm, personally. I'd agree that more often than not it is an expression of genuine good will.

 

[1137]

You guys have had some lucky experiences, then!

 

[Draka]

You guys have had some lucky experiences, then!

I don't think it is we having lucky experiences at all, but normal ones. Perhaps it is you that have just been unlucky. Perhaps it has more to do with what you put off to people that makes them react so?

 

[1137]

I don't think it is we having lucky experiences at all, but normal ones. Perhaps it is you that have just been unlucky. Perhaps it has more to do with what you put off to people that makes them react so?

Quite possibly. People like me certainly don't tend to be popular amongst the folks who generally pray.

 

[dust1n]

I accept such prayer, and then prayer the exact opposite of their prayers, and then put the onus on God.

 

[4consideration]

In my experience, it is most common, that when people tell me they'll pray for me, it's a welcome and appreciated expression of care/concern/love/goodwill.

I do have to say, though, that I have experienced the rare occasion, when I felt the expression of "I'll pray for you" was meant actually expressing this, "You're going to hell for not believe/doing like me. I'll pray for you, because you are so wrong."

 

[Revoltingest]

In my experience, it is most common, that when people tell me they'll pray for me, it's a welcome and appreciated expression of care/concern/love/goodwill.

I do have to say, though, that I have experienced the rare occasion, when I felt the expression of "I'll pray for you" was meant actually expressing this, "You're going to hell for not believe/doing like me. I'll pray for you, because you are so wrong."

I can always tell the intention of a prayer offering.
If it's followed by an offer of a sammich, then it's sincere.

 

[4consideration]

I can always tell the intention of a prayer offering.
If it's followed by an offer of a sammich, then it's sincere.

I'll pray for you -- that you'll get that sammich.

 

[YmirGF]

Perhaps if people performed more concrete meaningful actions they would not feel a need to pray for things.

 

[Augustus]

Sometimes I get people asking me to pray for them, as in "I've got a job interview tomorrow, pray for me ya".

This always confuses me, I'm not sure if I should say "of course", or "I wish you the best of luck".

It should probably be the former, but I usually go with the latter.

 

[freethinker44]

To me it's only offensive if someone knows I'm an atheist. And the degree of offense taken would depend on how religious they are. For example, I might post about a problem on Facebook (I would actually never do that), and my casually religious family would offer prayers even though they all know I'm an atheist. Not really offensive, more of a "seriously?" moment. But I've known more fanatical religious people where whatever your problem is, the first and foremost thing is that you get right with god and then you worry about your problems. When those people know I'm atheist and offer prayers it's incredibly offensive because they aren't offering prayers to help ease my pain and suffering, they're offering prayers that I "let god into my heart".

 

[4consideration]

Perhaps if people performed more concrete meaningful actions they would not feel a need to pray for things.

Possibly. But often, I think prayers are used to send love in situations where there's not a physical action one can do.

For example, if someone close to me tells me their feet hurt, I might offer to do something, like rub their feet to relieve the pain. However, if they tell me they are having surgery, I'll offer prayers, instead of picking up a scalpel.

 

[Deathbydefault]

I either ignore such gestures, or tell people not to bother.
Religious therapists, allowed by my parents, have said such things to me.
Of course, I was rather flippant. Such an attitude has been maintained.
Good gesture or not.

 

[Deidre]

When I had an atheistic stance in the beginning, I thought of people offering prayers as insulting, as if I needed 'saving.' But, over time, I realized it was from a good place. Coming back to faith now, I say it only on occasion (doing it is more valuable than saying it imo lol), but not often because I remember how it felt when I heard it.

 

[Quintessence]

Possibly. But often, I think prayers are used to send love in situations where there's not a physical action one can do.

Plus, it is unwise to underestimate the power of thoughts and ideas. Just knowing there is someone out there who cares about you is kind of a big deal. Or at least I think it is.

 

[4consideration]

Plus, it is unwise to underestimate the power of thoughts and ideas. Just knowing there is someone out there who cares about you is kind of a big deal. Or at least I think it is.

I think it's a big deal, too.

I actually think there's more to it than just knowing someone cares and is expressing that love. (I think love is a power, and that something real is sent, that can be felt -- but I don't want to derail the thread with that conversation.)

 

[YmirGF]

Possibly. But often, I think prayers are used to send love in situations where there's not a physical action one can do.

For example, if someone close to me tells me their feet hurt, I might offer to do something, like rub their feet to relieve the pain. However, if they tell me they are having surgery, I'll offer prayers, instead of picking up a scalpel.

I understand that much, 4consideration, but in psychological terms I am wary of how people interpret the sentiments expressed in prayer. In some terms, saying, "Pray for them" or "I'll pray for you" can reinforce a sense of hopelessness or powerlessness due to the idea that ones only chance to better their situation is through divine intervention. I have someone close to me at this moment who just underwent surgery and though she is in my thoughts, and she knows it, it simply would never have occurred to me to resort to something as superficial as praying.

 

[1137]

Plus, it is unwise to underestimate the power of thoughts and ideas. Just knowing there is someone out there who cares about you is kind of a big deal. Or at least I think it is.

True. Luckily it seems to outweigh the negativity of the people constantly aware of the fact you're going to burn in hell.