This issue was coming to a head during and after the eradication of segregation.
Actually, it wasn't. The Civil RIghts Movement is generally seen as having extended from roughly 1954 to 1968, with things coming to a head in the early 1960's. By 1978, when the LDS Church granted the priesthood to men of African descent, pressure on the Church to do so was practically non-existent. That's why the announcement came as such a surprise to virtually everybody. It seemed to come right out of the blue, without anyone expecting it.
You could have stolen a few ideas from their playbook: letter writing, boycotts, sit-ins, etc. The discriminatory businesses that were targeted for these sorts of actions weren't democracies either, but these actions did often effect change.
We prefer to use our own playbook. That's not to say that there weren't efforts to get the Church to change its policy, but they were on a smaller scale and affected far fewer people, and were not as newsworthy as some of the actions you've mentioned.
Denying African-American people sandwiches was enough to get thousands of white people to boycott their local lunch counters. Apparently, denying African-American people priestly offices - denying them their supposed calling in the supposed one true church - was not as important.
Of course it was as important, but not to as many people. You pointed out that nobody put a gun to my head and made me be a Mormon. Nobody put a gun to this man's head either:
Darius Gray. Being a Black male, who joined the Church as an adult in 1964, he had far more reason to protest than most Caucasian members of the Church did. He converted knowing that he would not be permitted to hold the priesthood, and having to wonder whether the ban would be lifted in his lifetime. (Most in the Church suspected that sooner or later it would be, and several LDS leaders made a point of confirming this fact.) I can't even imagine how difficult it would have been for him to be a member of a Church that would not allow him to hold his "supposed calling," particularly when it was the "supposed one true church." Something made him join, though, and something made him decide to stay. There was clearly something about the gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught in Mormonism, that had a strong enough pull on him to make him want to be a Mormon, despite the ban. Clearly, those who are not LDS cannot fathom what this could possibly be, but it's there and it's real, and Darius Gray was not the only person of color to be able to wait patiently for the Church leadership to do what was right. I'm sure he knew that God's love is not limited by human mistakes, and that regardless of how long it might take for the ban to be lifted, waiting was worth it.
A church's strength is derived from its membership.
Even if it's unwilling to budge on issues of doctrine or policy, if enough people leave, then the church becomes irrelevant and can be replaced with something better.[/quote]And that would be just hunky dory for everyone who would love nothing more than for the Church to become irrelevant. If everybody left the Church when they dissagreed on a policy, practice or procedure, the Church would cease to exist. You say it would be replaced with something better. To me, that would be like throwing out the baby along with the bath water and just refilling the tub.
You know, you and I have had essentially this same discussion on several prior occasions. I'm really not sure why we're having it again, because no matter how many ways you want to try rephrasing the same questions, my answers are going to be the same.