If I am Not my Usual Self

[bain-druie]

I had a 37-year old patient with spina bifida not long ago; he'd endured multiple surgeries and infections, and his condition was more debilitating than that of many others - nonetheless, his enjoyment of life was obvious. From your description, it sounds like Jack's prognosis is as good as can be hoped for. All blessings to him and his family - and I hope you're able to rest soon as well.

 

[Rakhel]

We intend to help him live as full a life as possible. We just found out that one relative had a spinal bifida child die in infancy and another, who is now nine, thriving. So we figure a 50/50 chance he will turn out okay.

He made it through his surgery. :woohoo: Doctors are very happy with their work. They are going to give it a week and do an ultrasound to see how well the shunt is draining. Funny, I could tolerate seeing him with the tubes and wires, it was, and is, the pain he is in that kills me.

 

[Starsoul]

May he be restored with good health and be a bright boy, and may he and his parents be blessed with more blessings.

 

[Rakhel]

May he be restored with good health and be a bright boy, and may he and his parents be blessed with more blessings.

When you say "blessings" you don't mean "kids," do you?

 

[Starsoul]

When you say "blessings" you don't mean "kids," do you?

ummm , you don't? well not all the times, blessings entail, all things that we take as blessings, and offcorse there are some blessings which are blessings in disguise, but blessings indeed. What i meant here, was to pray for the ease and comfort of the boy and his parents, as in times of hardship, blessings are what are felt as blessings.

 

[Rakhel]

ummm , you don't? well not all the times, blessings entail, all things that we take as blessings, and offcorse there are some blessings which are blessings in disguise, but blessings indeed. What i meant here, was to pray for the ease and comfort of the boy and his parents, as in times of hardship, blessings are what are felt as blessings.

OHHHH!!! scare a person, why do you! LOL. No more kids. 6 is enough, especially since this last one was unknown and unplanned until it was almost too late.

Ease and comfort, yes very much needed. All babies are blessings. It is life that is the challenge. I always say, G-d never gives you more than you can handle. Obviously this is something he thinks this boy and his parents can handle. Hopefully, with more ease than even they think.

 

[Starsoul]

OHHHH!!! scare a person, why do you! LOL. No more kids. 6 is enough, especially since this last one was unknown and unplanned until it was almost too late.

Ease and comfort, yes very much needed. All babies are blessings. It is life that is the challenge. I always say, G-d never gives you more than you can handle. Obviously this is something he thinks this boy and his parents can handle. Hopefully, with more ease than even they think.

aawww mashAllah, 6 kids wow thats great and i always thought parents didn't want to have more kids these days, i love the sound of that 6, kids.

That must be quite a task indeed, I really salute moms who are able to raise 6 kids and be so well arranged, sensible and calm about it, talk about raising 6 different individuals , each with different needs and by God, can anything be more honorable than that?

I don't know what rewards there are in judaism for motherhood, but In Islam a mother is all degrees higher in respect and rights than a father, for the pains she goes through raising her children. So much that if she has done it righteously, instilled the knowledge of Islam in them, cared for them and everything, heaven lies at her feet and her kids wont be able to enter Heaven if they don't attempt to return the care, respect and obedience to their parents and specially more so the mother. Offcorse they can never return all of that, but if they didn't continuously try, they are in a tough spot in the eyes of God.

And for mothers who have been unfortunate to have un-healthy kids or still births, heaven is made compulsory for them.

 

[Rakhel]

And for mothers who have been unfortunate to have un-healthy kids or still births, heaven is made compulsory for them.

this reminded me of something that used to be said(hopefully it isn't said these days).
A woman would miscarry or her child would be stillborn, and some people would give the most, what I find to be, insulting comment ever to be said.
"What did you do to make G-d punish that child like that?"
Hurtful, insulting and down right cruel. Women who have lost like that deserve some peace and understanding.

 

[croak]

We intend to help him live as full a life as possible. We just found out that one relative had a spinal bifida child die in infancy and another, who is now nine, thriving. So we figure a 50/50 chance he will turn out okay.

He made it through his surgery. :woohoo: Doctors are very happy with their work. They are going to give it a week and do an ultrasound to see how well the shunt is draining. Funny, I could tolerate seeing him with the tubes and wires, it was, and is, the pain he is in that kills me.

Glad to hear! Keep us updated on his progress, and maybe catch some rest. :hug:

 

[Starsoul]

this reminded me of something that used to be said(hopefully it isn't said these days).
A woman would miscarry or her child would be stillborn, and some people would give the most, what I find to be, insulting comment ever to be said.
"What did you do to make G-d punish that child like that?"
Hurtful, insulting and down right cruel. Women who have lost like that deserve some peace and understanding.

that is so rude and insensitive, but Alhamdulilah (thanks to Allah) I've never come across such a distressing implication culturally, And in religion it is absolutely an abominable thing to say.

 

[beenie]

I'm so very glad Jack made it through the surgery and I will continue to hope for a full and vibrant life for him.

this reminded me of something that used to be said(hopefully it isn't said these days).
A woman would miscarry or her child would be stillborn, and some people would give the most, what I find to be, insulting comment ever to be said.
"What did you do to make G-d punish that child like that?"
Hurtful, insulting and down right cruel. Women who have lost like that deserve some peace and understanding.

That's disgusting. I was one of the lucky ones who never suffered a miscarriage, but I'm telling you if someone said that to someone they would no longer be standing.

...AND, as a fellow mother of six (daughters), I know when enough is enough.

 

[Rakhel]

that is so rude and insensitive, but Alhamdulilah (thanks to Allah) I've never come across such a distressing implication culturally, And in religion it is absolutely an abominable thing to say.

That's disgusting. I was one of the lucky ones who never suffered a miscarriage, but I'm telling you if someone said that to someone they would no longer be standing.

It had something to do with "the sins of the father are visited upon the child," or something like that. I agree, it is very rude and disgusting. Hell, at first, I felt guilty about Jack having Spinal Bifida, until I realized that it was not my fault. There was nothing I could do about it(except abortion, which was a heavy no.) To think that someone would say that to me, and I am not sure they would be living anymore.

I'm so very glad Jack made it through the surgery and I will continue to hope for a full and vibrant life for him.

Jack is doing great. They have him off all IV's and tubes. He is in a crib now Most surgeries are over and done with. the one that I am curious about is that Urology is requesting to do a circumcision. Not that we would say no(being Jewish and all), I am just curious as to why they would ask us. Usually, it's the parents who make the request. The only thing I can think of, and won't know more until tomorrow, is that it may be medically necessary in his particular case.

...AND, as a fellow mother of six (daughters), I know when enough is enough.

I threatened him. Told him to either find a doctor or I will get a self help manual on how to do it myself. The other methods aren't working for us.

 

[beenie]

Yep, no methods worked for us either...it was him all the way. I delivered 6 daughters, very quickly, no pain relief whatsoever (no time)...i delivered one of my babies myself in the front seat of our van, another in the hospital hallway... and I've passed three kidney stones and had surgery for three more. it was his turn, and now that stress is gone.

Do not blame yourself for one iota of a millisecond for Jack's condition. There is nothing you could have done differently, I wouldn't have aborted either. No matter what Jack's limitations may be (hopefully none), he will be a miracle every time you look at him and see those beautiful eyes looking back at you. Enjoy him, and if I didn't say it before, congratulations on your beautiful son.

 

[beenie]

...and I'm jumping for joy that Jack is doing so well; he's a fighter.

 

[Rakhel]

Yep, no methods worked for us either...it was him all the way. I delivered 6 daughters, very quickly, no pain relief whatsoever (no time)...i delivered one of my babies myself in the front seat of our van, another in the hospital hallway... and I've passed three kidney stones and had surgery for three more. it was his turn, and now that stress is gone.

Had meds for the first 5. This one...oh man!!! Going up to maternity, I asked if there was time for meds. he was born 10 minutes later.

Do not blame yourself for one iota of a millisecond for Jack's condition. There is nothing you could have done differently, I wouldn't have aborted either. No matter what Jack's limitations may be (hopefully none), he will be a miracle every time you look at him and see those beautiful eyes looking back at you. Enjoy him, and if I didn't say it before, congratulations on your beautiful son.

Well Jack was a surprise until the last minute. I didn't know I was pregnant. At first I thought it was menopause, then my cycle started again and I thought nothing of it, until he showed himself. A neurologist told us that it was probably best we didn't know I was expecting. The stress alone would have been damaging enough.

As for the disability. It develops within the first 28 days of conception. Well after any normal woman would have found out she was pregnant. So I know I have no reason to blame myself. It just happens.

The shunt is helping. He was barely moving his legs prior to the placement. Now, they flail all over the place. We were, and still are, concerned about his ability to walk, but know we won't know anything until he starts to crawl.

And thanks. Now his brother and father aren't surrounded by just girls.

 

[beenie]

Oh my goodness! Not knowing you were pregnant? You belong on TLC!
I can see how that happens though. I breastfed all six of my girls for 2 years, exclusively. I breastfed pregnant, tandem nursed...name it. There were times between children I never got a cycle, but I always knew I was pregnant because I get nauseated very early. If I didn't have the nausea, I could have gotten much further...although I show immediately too; I'm a very slender build, so a pound shows on me.

I am quite familiar with Spina Bifida. My mother's sister died from a severe form of it, so it's in my family. I got lucky....very lucky.

With my first one, I didn't know how progressed I was; I'd only been contracting for about an hour, and my water never broke. I asked for meds and they laughed...she was crowning. Meds were never mentioned again with me.

 

[Rakhel]

No TLC for me. I had two nurses tell me the same thing happened to relatives of theirs(One went in for an appendectomy and came out with a baby). So while it may not be widely heard of, it is not as uncommon as was once thought.

Anyways, Jack is out of the hospital and doing better than even the doctors expected. His TSH may be a little low, but thyroid problems are common in our family. (If it isn't one thing, it's another) Now all we gotta do is watch him grow.

 

[Rakhel]

OH yeah. And thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers. They were greatly appreciated and help us a lot.

 

[croak]

Glad to know the little fella's doing great!

 

[Rakhel]

well an update. Jack is surprising us and the doctors daily. He's doing great. eating as much as he can, smiling and cooing already.


Now I feel I must share my heart attack.

The bill, to date, is in excess of $50,000. The total we received today was only $44,490. I can't wait to see what the next set of bills say.