Well? 
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If I masturbate will I go to jail?
- Thread starter Saint Frankenstein
- Start date
You bet! Don't let them catch you one-handed.
Skwim
Veteran Member
If it's in my kitchen you will.Well?
I think you might go to jail if you masturbate in public, especially near a school.
I think you might go to jail if you masturbate in public, especially near a school.
I have a funny story related to that actually...
A couple years ago I was staying over at a friend's. It was around noon and we were just walking around town and I had to urinate, so I did my business behind a building that I later found out was a daycare center... Nobody saw me, thank goodness.
You flopped it out near children! Off with his head!
My fav star trek episode says:
There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute...
Tiberius
Well-Known Member
That's your favorite? That one? Really?!?!
oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
Well, since I don't have sperm, that doesn't apply to me.
Don't get caught anyway!
I haven't had any sperm since 1977.
Question:- What does the Q stand for in LGBTQ? (I know all the others).
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Don't get caught anyway!
I haven't had any sperm since 1977.
Question:- What does the Q stand for in LGBTQ? (I know all the others).
Queer or Questioning or both.
Don't get caught anyway!
I haven't had any sperm since 1977.
Question:- What does the Q stand for in LGBTQ? (I know all the others).
My mom has already walked in on me.
What Ms. Drole said.
Only if you wack off to Hentai, my dear Frank.
Only if you wack off to Hentai, my dear Frank.
No, never. Thank God. Never been into cartoons.
I can think of a simple scenario that could get you jailed, and you wouldn't even have to do much. If you were to masturbate carelessly and sperm landed on some gel (because of your negligence) and was damaged by acid (like vinegar) and this opened up the nuclei of a sperm cell exposing the DNA in the sperm cell's nuclei and then the DNA in the open cell nuclei were somehow taken up by a virus which then entered a bacterium which then adopted the human DNA and became a half-human cell -- then you might go to jail for human hybridization, which is illegal. Naturally no one would believe that you accomplished all of that by accident, so you would certainly be convicted.
Well?
I doubt that even you could pull off an episode of simple masturbation so epic that the cops get involved. If you involve church weddings or presidential visits or that sort of thing, it isn't really masturbation any more, legally.
Don't ask how I know this, I'll just lie to you.
Tom
Triumphant_Loser
Libertarian Egalitarian
Well?
If I catch you using my porn stash, I'm calling the cops.
Triumphant_Loser
Libertarian Egalitarian
Only if you wack off to Hentai, my dear Frank.
Does Yaoi or Yuri count?
I guess "yes" on a technicality.