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If Women Controlled the World
- Thread starter Bishka
- Start date
EnhancedSpirit
High Priestess
Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity
"Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"
Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit".
Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments
Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator
During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds
Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity
"Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"
Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit".
Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments
Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator
During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds
Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
M
Majikthise
Guest
If women controlled the world , would missles be shaped differently?
M
Majikthise
Guest
mr.guy said:
If my mother is any indication, it will be coat hangers.
oh, man, this kind of thing really ticks me off. When will people realise that neither feminism or chauvenism are good things. Does no else agree that feminism is just chauvenism for women? Ever noticed that a man telling jokes about women is considered a chauvenist pig but a woman telling jokes about men is a feminist hero? Why don't we all just stop being so crap to eachother? If we agree that stereotyping women is a bad thing, then so too is stereotyping men. I'm a man, and I can tell you the following things right now:
1) I have NEVER cheated on a girlfriend, and would never
2) I have never been to a strip club or seedy establishment, and don't intend to at any point in the future.
3) I feel very strongly about social inequalities between men and women - especially those related to the working arena, and against those who brand things as something only women should do.
4) Personality is FAR more important than looks - but to be totally honest, I don't think it's a bad thing that looks matter to some small extent, because people who say they absolutely don't care about looks are just dirty liars
5) I am NOT obsessed with my car
6) While I enjoy sports, they would never take over my life and they would never come before the people I care about
7) I am not a fan of one night stands - and I don't go out looking for them
8) I am not afraid of committment
All this being so, should I just sit back and listen to female comedians branding all men as the same, as a cheating, lying sex hound who doesn't care about anything apart from sports, cars and sex? Should I accept that it's OK to be branded as a "typical" man, as a pervert, as someone who likes going to strip clubs, seedy bars and reading porn mags? What the hell is a 'typical' person anyway?
Before I go on, I should point out that I know this post wasn't exactly totally serious, and probably wasn't inviting such a volitile response from me, and for that I apologise, but this is something I feel strongly about!
Doesn't anyone else think that what we have now is nothing but a new form of discrimination, as opposed to a struggle for equality? I know TRUE equality could well be impossible to achieve, in whatever way - yes of course, i'm not so naive as to think differently, but I think we could have a bloody good go at it.
WE ARE NONE OF US PERFECT - IT GOES FOR ALL OF US - EVERYBODY
1) I have NEVER cheated on a girlfriend, and would never
2) I have never been to a strip club or seedy establishment, and don't intend to at any point in the future.
3) I feel very strongly about social inequalities between men and women - especially those related to the working arena, and against those who brand things as something only women should do.
4) Personality is FAR more important than looks - but to be totally honest, I don't think it's a bad thing that looks matter to some small extent, because people who say they absolutely don't care about looks are just dirty liars
5) I am NOT obsessed with my car
6) While I enjoy sports, they would never take over my life and they would never come before the people I care about
7) I am not a fan of one night stands - and I don't go out looking for them
8) I am not afraid of committment
All this being so, should I just sit back and listen to female comedians branding all men as the same, as a cheating, lying sex hound who doesn't care about anything apart from sports, cars and sex? Should I accept that it's OK to be branded as a "typical" man, as a pervert, as someone who likes going to strip clubs, seedy bars and reading porn mags? What the hell is a 'typical' person anyway?
Before I go on, I should point out that I know this post wasn't exactly totally serious, and probably wasn't inviting such a volitile response from me, and for that I apologise, but this is something I feel strongly about!
Doesn't anyone else think that what we have now is nothing but a new form of discrimination, as opposed to a struggle for equality? I know TRUE equality could well be impossible to achieve, in whatever way - yes of course, i'm not so naive as to think differently, but I think we could have a bloody good go at it.
WE ARE NONE OF US PERFECT - IT GOES FOR ALL OF US - EVERYBODY
I guess I understand why you get wound up; even my wife admits that she'd prefer to be treated as a woman, rather than a "female equal opportunities person".
I was brought up with Chivalry, and was encouraged to live my life that way. I often think back to the saying (goodness knows who did say it) -
I'm not saying that I don't believe in equality, but in some things it is actually impossible.
I was brought up with Chivalry, and was encouraged to live my life that way. I often think back to the saying (goodness knows who did say it) -
I'm not saying that I don't believe in equality, but in some things it is actually impossible.
Scuba Pete
Le plongeur avec attitude...
Some of you may know about my heel issue: I have been dealing with it for almost a year now.
Last month I had had enough of the pain and went looking for another doctor. I was asked by my new doctor why I had chosen her. My answer? No testosterone. Within five minutes and a few simple tests, the "bone spur" was re-diagnosed as a partially torn ligament and an MRI was scheduled which verified it. My foot is in a cast for the next 10 weeks and for the first time in a year: it really doesn't hurt. My hat is off to women doctors.
Last month I had had enough of the pain and went looking for another doctor. I was asked by my new doctor why I had chosen her. My answer? No testosterone. Within five minutes and a few simple tests, the "bone spur" was re-diagnosed as a partially torn ligament and an MRI was scheduled which verified it. My foot is in a cast for the next 10 weeks and for the first time in a year: it really doesn't hurt. My hat is off to women doctors.
Draka
Wonder Woman
NetDoc said:Some of you may know about my heel issue: I have been dealing with it for almost a year now.
Last month I had had enough of the pain and went looking for another doctor. I was asked by my new doctor why I had chosen her. My answer? No testosterone. Within five minutes and a few simple tests, the "bone spur" was re-diagnosed as a partially torn ligament and an MRI was scheduled which verified it. My foot is in a cast for the next 10 weeks and for the first time in a year: it really doesn't hurt. My hat is off to women doctors.
Sounds like my car story. I had an old car in which, while I was driving, the clutch went completely out. Every gear was neutral. I took it to a mechanic. Older guy. He proceeded to tell me my transmission was bad and it would cost me $1800 to get another one in it. (Keep in mind I paid $600 for the whole car) Another guy I knew suggested we take the car to his mechanic. We did. I walked in and saw that the owner/head mechanic was a woman. She looked at the car herself, said I was right, the clutch had fallen apart. It would cost me $300 for a brand new one including labor.
Granted this was when I was 18 and the older guy probably thought he could take me for $1500. The automatic assumption that a girl doesn't know crap about cars. He was wrong and lost out.
What annoys me is when I know what I'm talking about concerning my car and a man won't listen to me about it. Like I have no clue what I'm talking about. Shoot, my father has been guilty of that. Has stood and discussed my car with Turk right in front of me while I was trying to tell him something it took him a half an hour to figure out because he wasn't listening.
Draka
Wonder Woman
Enhanced Spirit said:
:spit: :biglaugh: Have you met my father? The man with dusting polish kept in his Mustang just in case it gets dusty? The man who has shelves put up just to have more room to put his car show trophies? The man who wear Mustang clothing and hats everytime he drives his car anywhere?
Where is Mom? Oh, that's right. At home with a book.
Scuba Pete
Le plongeur avec attitude...
Don't blame all men... I was known for listening to my clients. They helped me diagnose the majority of their automotive problems.
Draka
Wonder Woman
NetDoc said:
No, not all men. The shop I frequent now is all men and they are very good about listening to me. I just think there are quite a few of those guys out there that would take advantage of a woman and give the whole mechanic world a bad rep. It does happen more frequently than a lot would think. I've often got quoted higher prices for automotive work than a man has. I have been quoted something and when I've gone to pick up the car and walked in with a man have gotten a much lower price. It's just sad it happens so much.
But I agree, not all men do that. It's just that there are enough that make me leary.
Dr. Nosophoros
Active Member
If women ruled the world, they would soon realize that they didn't have the stuff to rule it and would give it back to the men- promptly apologize and organize a monthly "woman!- get your man a beer" day to make up for the misunderstanding .
:yes:
:yes:
FerventGodSeeker
Believer
I'm glad that this thread is part of the "Jokes, etc" section, because women ruling the world IS a joke! LOL. :jester3: :angel2: ,,,ok, just kidding...
:jester3: :angel2: ,,,ok, just kidding...
A
angellous_evangellous
Guest
It just occurs to me that if women were in control of the world, we'd all be having a lot more sex.
I don't think that I could take it.
I don't think that I could take it.
If women ruled the World::foot:
1. There would be a shoe store on every corner.
2. All mirrors would make it look like you weighed 50 lbs pounds less.
3. All parking spaces would be a 15-by-15 foot square.
4. The lanes on the highway would weave left and right sharply at random intervals.
Just thought I'd add a few:angel2:
1. There would be a shoe store on every corner.
2. All mirrors would make it look like you weighed 50 lbs pounds less.
3. All parking spaces would be a 15-by-15 foot square.
4. The lanes on the highway would weave left and right sharply at random intervals.
Just thought I'd add a few:angel2:
3.14
Well-Known Member
are you saying great men pick fat wifes?
but come on if womans were in power that would just be because all men died out or because someone made a bet somewhere
ps. how would a womans world deal with al the deaths from car accidents