"I'm Offended"

[Deidre]

Why is it that people seem to think those two words constitute an argument?

It's often used to diffuse an argument, not constitute one. Usually people who claim they are offended, state it to gain the upper hand. Not to say that I've never said I'm offended, but when used as a constant 'rebuttal'...it can be manipulative.

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?

If your only purpose is to purposefully offend someone, then yes. If you are trying to incite positive change, by getting the person to think, then no.

Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?

Sometimes just a difference of opinion can offend someone, so it might be hard to entirely avoid, depending on the person.

Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

I value my life, so...I'd pick my battles wisely.

 

[Unification]

Why is it that people seem to think those two words constitute an argument?

There is much of this going on in the world today and in the past as well.
There have been plenty of instances where people will act out when they get offended.
Resorting to violence is childish, it's the grownup equivalent to throwing a temper tantrum.

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?
Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?
Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

Please answer my questions as you may and commence discourse .

We truly cannot offend anyone. It is ones own self who allows themselves to be offended. The sacrifice of their own self control for the ability of others to have control over them... in this case... offense.
If one is often offended by others, it would be wise of themselves to not put themselves in such a position. Self control. One who allows themselves to be offended lacks self control, is over-serious, and only burns themselves.

Yes, sometimes it is wise to diligently scrutinize others' and certain characteristics, behavior, choices, or doctrines. Although they may not like hearing it, sometimes that offense they allow to consume them will benefit them in positive manners down the road. There is always something to be learned. The battles should be chosen wisely though, know when and how to and when not to.

 

[Unification]

It's a pain you get used to.
They broke my left wrist once, and dislocated my right shoulder.
Otherwise it's never gone further than cutting me up a bit.
The basics for those who don't submit to dominate powers in inner city public school.



Hmm. I love education for the sake of education.
I'm not really attending college with any particular goal in mind, just a degree in science.

My similar story would have to be the last year and a half I spent with my parents.
They are people I reference often and are responsible for many issues I have along with a bigoted position I can't shake.
I hate them, to say the least. Spending my childhood, what I remember of it, was bad enough.
It got even worse as I got older, they stopped feeding me and I had to support myself.
Saying I could have died isn't far fetched.

Being kicked out, for the final time, at 18 was the best thing to happen to me in life thus far.
I feel absolutely free, at least in my own way.
What I regret is not standing up for myself against them.
I really wanted to, but if I did I wouldn't be here talking to you now.

And you are here now, and can become free of that regret of the past. All of that stuff seemed to have made you stronger in ways.

 

[Revoltingest]

Why is it that people seem to think those two words constitute an argument?

There is much of this going on in the world today and in the past as well.
There have been plenty of instances where people will act out when they get offended.
Resorting to violence is childish, it's the grownup equivalent to throwing a temper tantrum.

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?
Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?
Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

Please answer my questions as you may and commence discourse .

To give offense shouldn't be a goal, but it is often unavoidable.
Just expressing honestly held opinions can some some readers into a tizzy,
even engendering feelings of deep personal attack, when that is neither
intended, nor even an effect. (Must be difficult being so fragile.)

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

We truly cannot offend anyone. It is ones own self who allows themselves to be offended.

Not true. It's an involuntary response.

Fun fact: subjects doing the Stroop test do just as badly when the words are profanity as when they're names of colours.

 

[GoodbyeDave]

The thing that irritates me is the modern culture of the apology. I will apologise if I inadvertently do something wrong, but when some-one takes offence unnecessarily at a perfectly sensible remark my reaction is "get over yourself". Yet the papers are always full or politicians and "celebrities" saying how "truly sorry", if not "completely devastated", they are that some sensitive souls have taken offence.

 

[leibowde84]

Them's Fightin' Words...

Seriously, if you intentionally verbally abuse others, like let's say calling them the N word, they should just take it?

They should criticize the one who insulted them, if they want to. Ignoring idiots who use racial slurs is usually the best route though, as they are usually just after attention.

 

[Skwim]

I have no issues with people respectfully telling me when something has offended them,

Neither do I. It simply signifies their inability to put my remark in perspective. If they choose to be offended then so be it.

We need to give the people who whine about being offended less "power" however people commonly try to play off them being total douches on other people being too sensitive, which makes it a stickier situation. Generally if your speech serves a significant purpose, has to be said it overrides being nonoffensive. However those who choose to use offensive words/wording when it is not required are part of the problem.

Purposely making remarks one is sure will offend is like toying with children. It isn't fair. It isn't fair to take advantage of less perceptive people. It's like sucker punching them. Of course, there are times when I can see it warranted; not everyone plays fair, and when they don't then the gloves come off.

 

[Erebus]

Why is it that people seem to think those two words constitute an argument?

There is much of this going on in the world today and in the past as well.
There have been plenty of instances where people will act out when they get offended.
Resorting to violence is childish, it's the grownup equivalent to throwing a temper tantrum.

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?
Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?
Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

Please answer my questions as you may and commence discourse .

I think there are a couple at factors at play here, so let's look at them from the perspective of the offended party and then the person causing offense.

Firstly, anybody is well within their rights to find anything offensive and to say that they're offended by it. It could be anything from seeing a swastika tattoo to seeing somebody pick up a fork with the wrong hand. I don't know of anybody (excluding those with a severe brain disorder perhaps) who isn't offended by something. It's OK to feel offended, it just gives you a clue as to where your own sensibilities lie. It also might give you a clue that your sensibilities need to be re-examined.
Where the offended person will start to find limitations crop up is when they look to prevent others from offending them. This could be through seeking legal representation, resorting to violence or simply asking the offending party to stop. What you can reasonably expect to achieve through these means varies wildly. Similarly, how justified I personally would consider somebody seeking to stop something they find offensive varies wildly. For example, I have no sympathy for people who incite violence over cartoon depictions of a prophet. I typically have considerably more sympathy for somebody complaining of harassment in the workplace.

Now, on to offending other people. Firstly, no matter what you do in life, somebody's going to find it offensive. That's unavoidable. Deliberately seeking to cause offense is slightly different.
The first question I would ask somebody who's actively looking to cause offense would be why they feel the need to. It might be that the person in question feels that they need to make a statement that will catch people's attention. That's perhaps one of the (potentially) more valid reasons to try and cause offense. It could also be an attempt to get people to examine their own sensibilities and ask why they were offended. Again, a fairly legitimate reason to cause offense. Then there are people who just like to upset, bully and insult people either for the sheer pleasure of it or to try and assert dominance over them. This last group can take a long walk off a short pier as far as I'm concerned.

Of course, it can be very difficult to tell what somebody's real reason for causing offense or being offended actually is. With that in mind, It's probably worth bearing in mind that humans are an unpredictable bunch. Try not to be too surprised if somebody ends up biting back.