This whole last week I've been extraordinarily lazy. I tried telling myself "Just start with one thing the rest will fall into place" so I started with exercise Monday morning. And... everything didn't fall into place. I was too tired to make a meal that day so I ordered takeout and had three cups of coffee. Just that one meal pretty much. That was it for the day. Same thing Tuesday, started with exercise, told myself I'd do better that day. Didn't want to make anything, ordered takeout. Again, just that one meal pretty much. Wednesday was rest day, finally was meant to do something. Clean up the messy house, look at my bills and pay'em off, do laundry. Something. Instead I sat on the Internet 16+ hours (just like the two prior days). Today, same thing, barely ate today as well. Woops, by today I meant Thursday. it's Friday now. And that's another thing; I stayed up all night tonight and have a 12 hour shift coming up today. Why'd I stay up? No idea to be honest.
I can be productive for a few weeks, but it always comes back to running into a week like this. I've tried catching myself, tried actively telling myself to just force myself to get done the things I need to. When that didn't work I've tried just observing why it happens when it does, and I come up with various reasons but it still happens.
So I'm not sure. My excuse this week was that I was bored of the same old meals that I make (literally been the same few meals every week for months; sometimes I change up the ingredients but it still isn't satisfactory enough to motivate me to cook). And I figure the lack of eating made me have no energy to do anything else, and it just snowballed from there. I'll try Hello Fresh to see if that helps at all. I mean, I don't think it will, I suspect there is some deeper underlying reason that this cycle repeats itself and this is just one little bandaid, but we'll see.
I do love myself, so it sucks when I finally peel away from the screen to, say, take a **** or brush my teeth, and I see myself in the mirror for a second and looking a bit unhealthy from the lack of self care (especially when it lingers on for longer than a week) and am reminded that I'm not taking care of me.
It's probably the internet addiction. First thing I do in the morning is check it. I have put my phone across the room, in the other room. I may try turning off the internet before bed but something tells me I'll come across a night where I don't, or a morning where I turn it on and go lay down again. Hmm. I think internet addiction is probably the most explanatory reason this is happening. But I'm so bored without the internet, and there isn't much option for socializing without it throughout an average day. And maybe that's another issue that causes the internet addiction. Maybe it just feels impossible to go through over half of my day without listening/talking (reading/typing) to people.
Just contemplating. But I'm sorry, me. I will figure this out and do better for you.
I can be productive for a few weeks, but it always comes back to running into a week like this. I've tried catching myself, tried actively telling myself to just force myself to get done the things I need to. When that didn't work I've tried just observing why it happens when it does, and I come up with various reasons but it still happens.
So I'm not sure. My excuse this week was that I was bored of the same old meals that I make (literally been the same few meals every week for months; sometimes I change up the ingredients but it still isn't satisfactory enough to motivate me to cook). And I figure the lack of eating made me have no energy to do anything else, and it just snowballed from there. I'll try Hello Fresh to see if that helps at all. I mean, I don't think it will, I suspect there is some deeper underlying reason that this cycle repeats itself and this is just one little bandaid, but we'll see.
I do love myself, so it sucks when I finally peel away from the screen to, say, take a **** or brush my teeth, and I see myself in the mirror for a second and looking a bit unhealthy from the lack of self care (especially when it lingers on for longer than a week) and am reminded that I'm not taking care of me.
It's probably the internet addiction. First thing I do in the morning is check it. I have put my phone across the room, in the other room. I may try turning off the internet before bed but something tells me I'll come across a night where I don't, or a morning where I turn it on and go lay down again. Hmm. I think internet addiction is probably the most explanatory reason this is happening. But I'm so bored without the internet, and there isn't much option for socializing without it throughout an average day. And maybe that's another issue that causes the internet addiction. Maybe it just feels impossible to go through over half of my day without listening/talking (reading/typing) to people.
Just contemplating. But I'm sorry, me. I will figure this out and do better for you.
