I'm Sorry

[Mavrikmind]

I had an idea for this thread for a few days because I've had a weight hanging over me for some time. I thought this would be a good way to share my guilt. As we all know guilt can eat us away from the inside unless we can find it within, to forgive ourselves.
The only way forgivness can work for ourselves is that we have learned from our mistakes and not make them again.
Also, another good thing about this is that we share our mistakes so others can learn. The only drawback to guilt is that sometimes the guilt is unwarrented. We feel guilty but we were not the cause at all. Still this is a good way to free ourselves and move on.

This is my guilt
I feel guilty for the death of my son, because he inherited his bad gene from me ( tests proved it ) I know I couldn't have known at all. but the fact remains that I still feel guilty.

I feel guilty for the Millions of people who have died because of my countries action or inaction. I see pictures and clips of attrocities around the world. I wonder if that we as human being could have stoped it. Lets face it we have had our head in the sand for too long. Time to wake up people.

I feel guilty for all of the people I've wronged out of thoughtlessness or premeditation.
I'm sorry!

To all those I'm talking about, I have paid dearly and I'll never forget. But now I must move on towards Right Action and Right Heart

Hopefully this will help someone, if not it's helped me

 

[Hema]

Oh my! You are not in any way responsible for your son's death. Your son was put on earth for a certain amount of time and when his time was up, he had to move on. I'm sure that he is always under God's protection. I have heard that when people die young, it is because they had only a little karma to work off before they become one with God. Please do not hesitate to PM me if you want to talk. Everyone has his own karma. If God is just, then he would not let anyone die before his/her time is up.

 

[Scuba Pete]

Mavrikmind...

Well, I am definitely blessed for meeting you here.

I am blessed to see a Father's love and concern for his son.

I am blessed to see your abject humility and how you take your shortcomings seriously.

I am extremely blessed to see your commitment to doing what is right.

Thanks.

 

[Mavrikmind]

I admit this was mostly for me, but I posted this thread that people wouldn't be affraid to get rid of there guilt as well, or at least share comments about guilt. I know this forum is mostly about debating faith and religioun but I figured why cloud up a search for something divine, when you can do so with a clear mind and heart

 

[lunamoth]

Aww Marvrik...I don't think you are guilty of anything, but I very much understand how simply being heard can help us unburden. So sad to hear about your son. :hug:

Here is an Anglican prayer. Some people don't like prayers of confession but I think they are great for addressing those burdens we tend to carry, just as the ones you describe.

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed,
by what we done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are turely sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we my delight in your will,
and walk in you wayss,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

luna

 

[Scuba Pete]

Delmar in "O' Brother, Where Art Thou" said it best:

DELMAR
Well that's it boys, I been redeemed!
The preacher warshed away all my
sins and transgressions. It's the
straight-and-narrow from here on out
and heaven everlasting's my reward!

EVERETT
Delmar what the hell are you talking
about? - We got bigger fish to fry-

DELMAR
Preacher said my sins are warshed
away, including that Piggly Wiggly I
knocked over in Yazoo!

EVERETT
I thought you said you were innocent
a those charges.

DELMAR
Well I was lyin' - and I'm proud to
say that that sin's been warshed
away too! Neither God nor man's got
nothin' on me now! Come on in, boys,
the water's fine!

 

[Willamena]

How is that in any way your fault?

 

[darkpenguin]

if theres one regret or one guilt that i have it's for not being at my grandfathers bedside when he died despite the fact i could have been, instead i thought i had a day more then i did have and went out drinking that night and it turned out that my judgement was wrong! I've been told by many close family members not to feel guilty but it's still there and it still hurts nearly 2 years on!

 

[Mavrikmind]

How is that in any way your fault?

Willamena, I know that none of that is my fault. The thing is, as a person I can't help but feel empathy for things I cannot control. It's unfounded guilt true, but the thing is I'm taking the steps to let go of it all.

 

[yippityyak]

:sorry1:

My biggest feeling of guilt also involves my son.
I am a single mother, and when he was 5 months old, i got involved with a man who promised me the world (yes girls, we have all been there!).

Three months later, he hit my son. He hit him three times at 2am in the morning because he woke up crying for a bottle. The next morning he woke up with bruises on his legs.

I ran away from him and have never seen him since. I ran back to my family, and in return, they had him taken away from me.

Its two years later, my son has been back with me for a year and a half, and i still live with the guilt every single day of my life. Every single day I look at him and go through all the options that could have prevented it from happening.

I was wrong, and I can never turn back the clock, but I will forever live with that guilt.

:sorry1:

 

[doppelganger]

Delmar in "O' Brother, Where Art Thou" said it best:

That's a great movie.

Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.

 

[Kay]

I had an idea for this thread for a few days because I've had a weight hanging over me for some time. I thought this would be a good way to share my guilt. As we all know guilt can eat us away from the inside unless we can find it within, to forgive ourselves.

:hug:

 

[doppelganger]

:sorry1:

My biggest feeling of guilt also involves my son.
I am a single mother, and when he was 5 months old, i got involved with a man who promised me the world (yes girls, we have all been there!).

I'm very sorry to hear about that. I worked for Family Legal Services helping "at risk children" for a while in situations of drug use and physical and sexual violence. I was always amazed at how similar each story was. It was almost as if hundreds of people had all bought the same screenplay and decided to act it out in their lives with only the particular details changing.

Guilt destroys a person. Worse yet, it trickles down through the generations and can destroy people we'll never even meet.

 

[Hema]

:sorry1:

My biggest feeling of guilt also involves my son.
I am a single mother, and when he was 5 months old, i got involved with a man who promised me the world (yes girls, we have all been there!).

Three months later, he hit my son. He hit him three times at 2am in the morning because he woke up crying for a bottle. The next morning he woke up with bruises on his legs.

I ran away from him and have never seen him since. I ran back to my family, and in return, they had him taken away from me.

Its two years later, my son has been back with me for a year and a half, and i still live with the guilt every single day of my life. Every single day I look at him and go through all the options that could have prevented it from happening.

I was wrong, and I can never turn back the clock, but I will forever live with that guilt.

:sorry1:

None of that was your fault! It was that stupid man's fault. You were in love, that means you trusted him (which is part of love), it was he who betrayed your love and your trust. He should be feeling guilty. He's a big coward who's so insucure that he beats up someone small and defenseless. It's a blessing to have your son back with you. Enjoy it, if you keep feeling guilty, you will never enjoy it to the fullest. You are a parent. Many people are not as lucky. The past has ceased to exist. It's gone. It can't come back. Do not think about the bad things of the past. The past is history, the future is a mystery...the present is all we have. It's a gift from God, that's why it's call "present". Please PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Anyboby, feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I'm just someone over the internet but I'm always willing to listen...we are all brothers and sisters in spirit. That connection transcends space and time.

 

[yippityyak]

Thank you so much Hema for your kind words! It is much appreciated!

 

[doppelganger]

None of that was your fault! It was that stupid man's fault. You were in love, that means you trusted him (which is part of love), it was he who betrayed your love and your trust. He should be feeling guilty. He's a big coward who's so insucure that he beats up someone small and defenseless.

What if he was himself a victim of abuse who has deep-seated guilt associated with watching his father abuse his mother that manifests itself as violence in his own life?

I'm not making excuses. I just want to explore the nature of "guilt."

 

[Mavrikmind]

The thing is Yippityyak, that this is the whole point of this thread. this is where you leave your guilt behind. Yes you have paid a price for a mistake that alot of people make. Learn from this and move on hun. Do that for yourself and your son. Your life will be better for it.

 

[yippityyak]

The thing is Yippityyak, that this is the whole point of this thread. this is where you leave your guilt behind. Yes you have paid a price for a mistake that alot of people make. Learn from this and move on hun. Do that for yourself and your son. Your life will be better for it.

I know, and thank you very much. But I am sure you can vouch for this as much as I do, that it is extremely difficult to leave it behind.

Although, I am trying my best to do just that!
Thank you, for the thread, as well as the encouragement to walk away from that guilt.

 

[Mavrikmind]

What if he was himself a victim of abuse who has deep-seated guilt associated with watching his father abuse his mother that manifests itself as violence in his own life?

I'm not making excuses. I just want to explore the nature of "guilt."

I can see where your coming from doppelgänger, and thats a good point. The thing is though, with the exception of a few very mentaly ill people and situations where there can be temporary insanity, every person knows right from wrong. We hold ourselves in check because we know this. unless he was mentaly ill at the time, there is no excuse for physical abuse, none. especially abuse on a little child.
I vehemenatly despise child abuse, I've thought about it and I can find no reason for it at all ( Mental illness aside)

 

[doppelganger]

I can see where your coming from doppelgänger, and thats a good point. The thing is though, with the exception of a few very mentaly ill people and situations where there can be temporary insanity, every person knows right from wrong. We hold ourselves in check because we know this. unless he was mentaly ill at the time, there is no excuse for physical abuse, none. especially abuse on a little child.
I vehemenatly despise child abuse, I've thought about it and I can find no reason for it at all ( Mental illness aside)

Though it's interesting that one the most consistent predictors for abusive behaviors is that one was once a victim of abuse. I agree that we should know better, but some of us may be working at a severe disadvantage in lining up the things we do with what is right. Perhaps the truly sad irony is that the weakness such a victim may have continues to haunt them psychologically and results in a continuation of the hardship in their lives as they live them out in penitentiary.

"Mental illness" is sort of a sliding scale, isn't it? One may not generally be a serious danger to themselves or others, but under times of emotional stress may manifest very dangerous or self-destructive behaviors.