In the End

[Majikthise]

What would you like to hear god say when you enter heaven?
Or, if you prefer, satan when you enter hell.

C'mon atheists, humor me!

 

[Majikthise]

"Here are the keys to your new countach, enjoy.":woohoo:

 

[mrscardero]

Would you prefer hot or mild?

Soft or hard?

Up or down?


Heaven: "Follow me. I will show you the way to your family."

Hell: "Take off your coat cause it's gonna be hot down here."

 

[Lightkeeper]

It's not your time yet, go back and have fun for a few hundred more years. And be sure to do a lot of rock hunting.

 

[robtex]

Damn you found me!!! Nobody ever finds me when we play hide and seek! All right ..your turn find a place to hide in the universe Robert....

 

[jewscout]

i don't care what He says just as long as He looks like Morgan Freeman from "Bruce Almighty"!

 

[retrorich]

What would you like to hear god say when you enter heaven?

"How do you like your martinis, Rich?"

 

[Jaymes]

"Oh, you're one of our pagan sisters? Summerlands is right over here..." (Shamelessly stolen from a joke put in the paganism section of the board)

 

[jewscout]

"ok can we speed this up the sun's going down then the sabbath begins and i don't work on the sabbath."

 

[michel]

What would you like to hear god say when you enter heaven?
Or, if you prefer, satan when you enter hell.

C'mon atheists, humor me!

Personally, I think I'd rather go fot the 'heaven' bit; perhaps "Well, now you've no body, you won't have to count all those calories every day! - the chocolate's over there..........."

If it has to be Hell, perhaps " Gee, I'm sorry, we've run out of oil for the furnaces, you blasted humans have used it all up!":jiggy:

 

[Faust]

God would look like John Lennon and an angelic chorus would sing, and in the end,the love you take is equal to the love you make. ( from the Abbey Road Album)

Faust.

 

[cardero]

GOD: What are you doing up here, and who’s distributing our book?

SATAN: Our next guest says he's no stranger to hell, death due to stroke and high cholesterol, he’s been a toll collector for 35 years but a sinner for much longer please welcome…………….

 

[Yerda]

"Pull up a stool bud. Oh, by the way, I finally convinced the Guiness family to stop putting meat in the vats."

 

[Doc]

Well I am not sure if I want to go to Heaven after this life. After all, why should I want to live in perfect harmony when my brothers suffer here on Earth still. I think I would want to return to mend more wrongs.

But if I am allowed into the club, I am picturing a Jimmy Paige sort of guy singing 'Stairway to Heaven' for some reason. I dont know why. I had a dream that I had to climb some enormous stairs to get to heaven once.

Seriously speaking, he might say, "I never got that hard copy of your famous book"

 

[martha]

First, my apologies to the non-animal and fish eaters...I would like to hear..... "Would you like another serving of Surf and Turf?" To which I reply, " Oh yes, may I?"

What I would really like to hear is, " I've been waiting for you. Well done my good and faithful child." That would be my ultimate joy! Then I would slip into the great abyss of His awesome love and be at peace.

 

[Green Gaia]

Overheard in UU Heaven (if we believed in Heaven): "And here on the left we have 763 different varieties of coffee, all free-trade angel quality, of course. Next we have the Debating Room where it is guarnteed that no one will ever agree with you again. After that there is general meeting room where the Christians, Buddhist, Pagans, Muslims and Humanists all take turns conducting a service... the UUs generally just attend all of them and go to the Debating Room afterward to discuss what they did and did not agree with... Next we have... "

 

[Master Vigil]

No words, there would be no more need for words. Just peace.

 

[Majikthise]

"You subscribed to RF?Well, come on in!"

 

[Saw11_2000]

What would you like to hear god say when you enter heaven?
Or, if you prefer, satan when you enter hell.

C'mon atheists, humor me!

As I appear at the gates of heaven...

"Whoops wrong button. Silly atheist."

 

[cardero]

"You subscribed to RF?Well, come on in!"

Majikthise walks in reluctantly as a pink furred hoof slides open the gate.