Instant Karma

[NobodyYouKnow]

After a very long time praying to Lord Siva out of love and not even expecting anything, I notice my life and personal situation just keeps on going from bad to worse.

Last night, I just couldn't take being ignored anymore, so I said, 'you know what, Siva? I am done with you. If this happens when I believe in God, I probably would be much better off financially and with my living conditions if I just...didn't anymore, so get lost now, I want to do this using my own ego now'.

This morning, I woke up and the Siva pendant I wear just fell off my neck chain with jump loop in tact...I laughed and went 'yeah, that's right...just go away'.

Five minutes after that happened, I received a phone call from my father...he said that the police were just at his place looking for me and he didn't divulge where I live - I have been 'on the run' from finance companies and credit agencies for about a year now, living in a house, out in the middle of nowhere, about 5kms off any main roads...all my mail/correspondence gets sent to my father and I have registered his address as my 'living address'.

Apparently, I received a parking fine 2 freaking years ago, which went unpaid (I don't even remember it) and they are just letting me know this NOW? How ridiculous is that?

So, I had to go to the police station, and they took my car license off me and said that I need to either remain at my father's place, or divulge my current address...they also said I have to go to court now, with the possibility of a jail sentence...whichever way things went, I would lose my license for 6 months and have to pay a $500 fine - I learned that the initial fine was only $120.

Dad told me that we could fight it in court and have my name cleared and the charges expunged, but I told him straight out, that God would never allow that to happen, so we would only be wasting our time.

Upon hearing that, he said "I have a friend...." and he went to make a phone call.

What happened after that, was us going to see his friend, an Anglican priest who was very influential in social circles and also ran a community outreach program (serving meals to homeless people, operating a 'community garden' and distributing clothing, blankets etc).

The upshot of everything, after the priest making some phone calls etc, is that if I do community service for a month in his church (basically cleaning the church, helping in the garden and cooking meals) and doing whatever is asked of me, the church will back me up and I will get my license back in 1 month, as opposed to six and I wouldn't have to go to court or jail. The priest would send a letter to the magistrate saying I am already 'doing my time' for the 'crime'.

It was also suggested to me (by my father) that I place a sticker of an Aboriginal flag (we are not Aboriginal) on my car, because 'white guilt' will stop the coppers from booking me in future (that sounds like a very good idea I may follow through).

So, what do you all make of that? All I can say is that Siva has taken everything away from me (except for my life) and it's time I got some of that back, no matter what I have to do to make that happen.

I'm tired of God making a huge joke out of me.

​

 

[Poeticus]

I'm tired of God making a huge joke out of me.

​

I'm very sorry to hear of what you have been through. I hope everything works out. That was very nice of the priest. It seems he has quite the socio-political influence.

I would like to ask you something. Please take this not as negative in any way, but merely a question born out of merit and care for you:

Why do you worship Lord Shri Shiva? Is it to have Him recognize your worship of Him, or is it for something else?​

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I'm very sorry to hear of what you have been through. I hope everything works out. That was very nice of the priest. It seems he has quite the socio-political influence.

I would like to ask you something. Please take this not as negative in any way, but merely a question born out of merit and care for you:

Why do you worship Lord Shri Shiva? Is it to have Him recognize your worship of Him, or is it for something else?​

It is because I remember a time in my past when worshiping Lord Siva made me very happy and contented...I wanted to recapture that feeling, but now I know that whatever happened in the past is impossible to duplicate or try and recapture in any way.

Thanks for your concern.

 

[Jaskaran Singh]

After a very long time praying to Lord Siva out of love and not even expecting anything, I notice my life and personal situation just keeps on going from bad to worse.

Last night, I just couldn't take being ignored anymore, so I said, 'you know what, Siva? I am done with you. If this happens when I believe in God, I probably would be much better off financially and with my living conditions if I just...didn't anymore, so get lost now, I want to do this using my own ego now'.

This morning, I woke up and the Siva pendant I wear just fell off my neck chain with jump loop in tact...I laughed and went 'yeah, that's right...just go away'.

Five minutes after that happened, I received a phone call from my father...he said that the police were just at his place looking for me and he didn't divulge where I live - I have been 'on the run' from finance companies and credit agencies for about a year now, living in a house, out in the middle of nowhere, about 5kms off any main roads...all my mail/correspondence gets sent to my father and I have registered his address as my 'living address'.

Apparently, I received a parking fine 2 freaking years ago, which went unpaid (I don't even remember it) and they are just letting me know this NOW? How ridiculous is that?

So, I had to go to the police station, and they took my car license off me and said that I need to either remain at my father's place, or divulge my current address...they also said I have to go to court now, with the possibility of a jail sentence...whichever way things went, I would lose my license for 6 months and have to pay a $500 fine - I learned that the initial fine was only $120.

Dad told me that we could fight it in court and have my name cleared and the charges expunged, but I told him straight out, that God would never allow that to happen, so we would only be wasting our time.

Upon hearing that, he said "I have a friend...." and he went to make a phone call.

What happened after that, was us going to see his friend, an Anglican priest who was very influential in social circles and also ran a community outreach program (serving meals to homeless people, operating a 'community garden' and distributing clothing, blankets etc).

The upshot of everything, after the priest making some phone calls etc, is that if I do community service for a month in his church (basically cleaning the church, helping in the garden and cooking meals) and doing whatever is asked of me, the church will back me up and I will get my license back in 1 month, as opposed to six and I wouldn't have to go to court or jail. The priest would send a letter to the magistrate saying I am already 'doing my time' for the 'crime'.

It was also suggested to me (by my father) that I place a sticker of an Aboriginal flag (we are not Aboriginal) on my car, because 'white guilt' will stop the coppers from booking me in future (that sounds like a very good idea I may follow through).

So, what do you all make of that? All I can say is that Siva has taken everything away from me (except for my life) and it's time I got some of that back, no matter what I have to do to make that happen.

I'm tired of God making a huge joke out of me.

​

praNAm,
I can understand how painful that must be; to be honest, I've been kind of depressed as of late as well. Still, don't lose your faith, perhaps the community service at the church is in itself a sign that bhagavAn has not forgotten you. Also, look on the bright side. At least those insurance/credit card companies which you've been "hiding from" haven't sued you or called some collection agency or something, although I don't want to jinx it, so I'll shut up now. Anyway, hang in there; I don't know what other advice I can give.

 

[Poeticus]

It is because I remember a time in my past when worshiping Lord Siva made me very happy and contented...I wanted to recapture that feeling, but now I know that whatever happened in the past is impossible to duplicate or try and recapture in any way.

Thanks for your concern.

Thanks for your reply, NYK. Do you feel as if you should be acknowledged by Lord Shri Shiva? Or, when he used to acknowledge you and that made you very happy, are you now not really wanting to duplicate it but perhaps get acknowledged again?

Maybe, just maybe...what if he has already acknowledged you or recognized you and he how wishes for you to acknowledge yourself, your own being, first? Maybe, and just maybe now, he probably is saying: "this wonderful devotee has it in her, but she isn't doing anything to shine - I know she can, but I want her to shine all by herself!"

Maybe?

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Thanks for your reply, NYK. Do you feel as if you should be acknowledged by Lord Shri Shiva? Or, when he used to acknowledge you and that made you very happy, are you now not really wanting to duplicate it but perhaps get acknowledged again?

Maybe, just maybe...what if he has already acknowledged you or recognized you and he how wishes for you to acknowledge yourself, your own being, first? Maybe, and just maybe now, he probably is saying: "this wonderful devotee has it in her, but she isn't doing anything to shine - I know she can, but I want her to shine all by herself!"

Maybe?

Yeah, I have thought that Siva may be saying 'get up off your bum and go out and help your fellow man before I will even lift a finger to help you'...that thought briefly ran through my head, as doing seva (imposed seva) is probably what God wants me to do now.

Still, it was a really nasty way of doing it and I put it 'beneath God' to treat me the way He has been. Why do people who don't believe in a deity seem to be more 'well off' than those who do? Why is it that God must make his devotees suffer through so much pain and anguish?

If this is some kind of 'test', I have failed it and I want to fail it just so I can be happy...just so I can find peace again (both internal and external)...I know that any material happiness is only transitory and non-lasting, but to experience it for even an hour...even a day is far better that not experiencing it at all.

Yeah, just maybe I am being punished for not doing anything but worshiping Siva....maybe.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

praNAm,
I can understand how painful that must be; to be honest, I've been kind of depressed as of late as well. Still, don't lose your faith, perhaps the community service at the church is in itself a sign that bhagavAn has not forgotten you. Also, look on the bright side. At least those insurance/credit card companies which you've been "hiding from" haven't sued you or called some collection agency or something, although I don't want to jinx it, so I'll shut up now. Anyway, hang in there; I don't know what other advice I can give.

Yeah, I also saw the irony in how a Christian Church came to my assistance after what happened...what made me decide to post this in the first place. Thanks for your concern and support, JS.

Oh yeah...it is those collection agencies and lawyers that I am running away from.

 

[Sees]

Don't let any deity park your car anymore or count on them to pay bills/fines, keep people from finding or harassing you, etc.

Responsibility is the key, I think. "God(s) helps those who help them themselves" It might be horrible luck for a long time, but generally we always tend to blame others even when it is all us...defense-mechanism. Hard work, responsibility, owing up to what we have fearfully, lazily, stupidly done and left undone.

I'm only saying because I've seen so many with the attitude throw away a future full of possibilities and awesomeness...if you choose to make it.

Don't ever feel sorry for yourself.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Don't let any deity park your car anymore or count on them to pay bills/fines, keep people from finding or harassing you, etc.

Responsibility is the key, I think. "God(s) helps those who help them themselves" It might be horrible luck for a long time, but generally we always tend to blame others even when it is all us...defense-mechanism. Hard work, responsibility, owing up to what we have fearfully, lazily, stupidly done and left undone.

I'm only saying because I've seen so many with the attitude throw away a future full of possibilities and awesomeness...if you choose to make it.

Don't ever feel sorry for yourself.

I gave up 'feeling sorry for myself' ages ago and now, I am just really angry at God.

I feel like that woman who refused prasadam, and who was extricated from life because of it...even trying to get a snake to bite her, but the snake turns into a skeleton with her touch...bags of flour turn to bags of chaff with her touch...fertile women become barren through her touch...how does that story end again?

All I am looking for is a 'break' from this woeful existence and I am in no position to actually do anything about it. Maybe this was the only way I could be placed in that position?

God is like a Genie...be careful what you wish for.

 

[Sees]

I gave up 'feeling sorry for myself' ages ago and now, I am just really angry at God.

I feel like that woman who refused prasadam, and who was extricated from life because of it...even trying to get a snake to bite her, but the snake turns into a skeleton with her touch...bags of flour turn to bags of chaff with her touch...fertile women become barren through her touch...how does that story end again?

All I am looking for is a 'break' from this woeful existence and I am in no position to actually do anything about it. Maybe this was the only way I could be placed in that position?

God is like a Genie...be careful what you wish for.

Do think it because you feel you have dedicated your life to God and didn't get the right rewards for it?

What do you think God owes you just because you are a human being? What does God owe you based off of what you specifically have done?

I know you don't see it like this, because you have very clued-in, inspirational posts quite often....but a lot of people seem to think God is supposed to make them heaven on earth in this life based off devotion, faith, thoughts and deeds mindful of God, etc. I don't think it's ever supposed to work like that or our life wouldn't have much purpose... supposed to be us doing and us making a little slice of heaven - that's why we have this life.

We don't have divine servants.

 

[Me Myself]

I am sorry that you have had this bad experience.

You are the only who can decide what is best for you.

That said, I cannot believe Shiva would do you any harm. If anything, he might have been protecting you from Karma you didnt know you had and letting really nast **** come to you just the amount he felt you could deal with at the moment.

My first thought when I read the story honestly was "look at what happens without my help"

When the oendant feel from your neck, shiva was "no longer with you" yet one of the most terrible things happened to you just then.

I think it was Shiva's way of saying "This is what I as trying to protect you from, and even when life seems bad, you can trust I am doing something for you to make it less so"

It is your choice what to do. I honestly wint believe Shiva to do anything to hurt you nor guilt you into worship, but its important you do what you feel is best.

If you are of Shiva, you will come back to him. If not, I am sure he will still feel compassion towards you as wish you the best as he does to any.

May you be well and be blessed :namaste

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Do think it because you feel you have dedicated your life to God and didn't get the right rewards for it?

What do you think God owes you just because you are a human being? What does God owe you based off of what you specifically have done?

I know you don't see it like this, because you have very clued-in, inspirational posts quite often....but a lot of people seem to think God is supposed to make them heaven on earth in this life based off devotion, faith, thoughts and deeds mindful of God, etc. I don't think it's ever supposed to work like that or our life wouldn't have much purpose... supposed to be us doing and us making a little slice of heaven - that's why we have this life.

We don't have divine servants.

It's not really like that...God doesn't owe me anything, and I don't wish a 'heaven on earth'.

I guess I would like some positive reinforcement for once...because if one continues receiving negative reinforcement through their actions, one learns not to do that anymore.

I don't know if 'having this life' actually means anything, if one just continues to suffer through it.

Occasionally, my thoughts turn to Indian Sadhus and if I lived in India, I could wander around naked, begging from place to place and not have to worry about 'cars' or 'government agencies' or 'utility companies grossly overestimating my energy bills' (which one didn't use, but has no choice but to suck it up and pay) - which is what put me into debt in the first place, owing the energy company $3,000 in a 3 month period, and nobody could ever use that much...being a Sadhu means that you are left totally alone to worship Siva and nobody harasses you...you paint a big sign on yourself saying 'I have no money, no material possessions, so leave me alone'...unfortunately, I do not live in India and cannot afford the one-way ticket.

So no, God doesn't 'owe me', but He's also making it near impossible for me to continue worshiping Him.

The house I live in is nothing more than a shack, I only have one basic meal a day (last night it was a tuna sandwich) - so helping out at the Church's soup kitchen may be of benefit there...I am the one that needs to be served for a while and not do the serving, but like I said, I am fully prepared to let my ego have full reign over my affairs now, seeing as how nothing else has worked.

I also wonder, that if I actually remain here, keep meditating, attain Samadhi, whether I can just remain in that state until I attain Maha Samadhi, seeing as how I wouldn't require any sustenance, money or shelter to keep my illusory body alive anymore and just pass away in bliss...and this is the crux of the matter.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Join the priest and try not to hoist your short-comings on God, any God for that matter. If you do that, even the christian God also would not be able to help you. And, nobody is ignoring you. I like to read what we write very much. I hope you would continue to do so. But then, in your circumstances, what you are spending on internet is a bit too much. It could be used for other purposes. Be responsible, be practical. My view.

 

[Madhuri]

It is because I remember a time in my past when worshiping Lord Siva made me very happy and contented...I wanted to recapture that feeling, but now I know that whatever happened in the past is impossible to duplicate or try and recapture in any way.

Thanks for your concern.

Why would you assume that Shiva has anything to do with it? Why do people think that God intervenes in our lives all the time?
It's my opinion that God would not make one's life better or worse. As this thread title suggests, karma is the key. What would be the point of karma and life (where we learn from mistakes, from suffering as well as the positives) if God were to always intervene and make life better for his devotees?

That concept doesn't even make sense to me.

Btw, my father is an Anglican priest. He would also advice you not to read into it quite this far.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I am sorry that you have had this bad experience.

You are the only who can decide what is best for you.

That said, I cannot believe Shiva would do you any harm. If anything, he might have been protecting you from Karma you didnt know you had and letting really nast **** come to you just the amount he felt you could deal with at the moment.

My first thought when I read the story honestly was "look at what happens without my help"

When the oendant feel from your neck, shiva was "no longer with you" yet one of the most terrible things happened to you just then.

I think it was Shiva's way of saying "This is what I as trying to protect you from, and even when life seems bad, you can trust I am doing something for you to make it less so"

It is your choice what to do. I honestly wint believe Shiva to do anything to hurt you nor guilt you into worship, but its important you do what you feel is best.

If you are of Shiva, you will come back to him. If not, I am sure he will still feel compassion towards you as wish you the best as he does to any.

May you be well and be blessed :namaste

Thank you.

For the past week, I have been feeling like just taking a break from my prayers and sadhana...starting off with a week or so, then seeing if I can extend beyond that to indefinite Hindu-abstinence.

I have felt that Siva is God and has nothing to gain/lose through and by my worship, so if He wants to find me, having my pendant fall off in a way it never can ain't gonna do the trick - I need much more to 'go on' than just that. I am tired of all His little 'parlor tricks' you know? really sick and tired of it...all that just isn't enough anymore, in light of what I am going through.

I have also thought this probably would have happened if I didn't worship Siva anyway, so I cannot blame Him, but at the same time, why bother worshiping Him then? If my life isn't becoming any more happier, any more peaceful, any less depressed and I would be so regardless, then why bother when nothing I am doing makes any difference?

 

[Madhuri]

So no, God doesn't 'owe me', but He's also making it near impossible for me to continue worshiping Him.

The house I live in is nothing more than a shack, I only have one basic meal a day (last night it was a tuna sandwich) - so helping out at the Church's soup kitchen may be of benefit there...I am the one that needs to be served for a while and not do the serving, but like I said, I am fully prepared to let my ego have full reign over my affairs now, seeing as how nothing else has worked.

If your situation is difficult, do what you have to in order to improve it. There's nothing wrong with going to the Church soup kitchen.

But when good or bad things happen to you, what is the point in blaming God. No matter what you believe, this world is a place of both pleasure and pain and you're going to have to solve one problem after the other as long as you live.

Worship of God is not supposed to solve your material problems. It is supposed to make you more capable of adjusting to and coping with problems until you reach the point that nothing can bother you and you only experience bliss.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Why would you assume that Shiva has anything to do with it? Why do people think that God intervenes in our lives all the time?
It's my opinion that God would not make one's life better or worse. As this thread title suggests, karma is the key. What would be the point of karma and life (where we learn from mistakes, from suffering as well as the positives) if God were to always intervene and make life better for his devotees?

That concept doesn't even make sense to me.

Btw, my father is an Anglican priest. He would also advice you not to read into it quite this far.

I wouldn't be reading into it quite this far, if I didn't have the book constantly shoved in my face. That's the whole sum of it.

Even Christians will say 'that's not God, that's the Devil making these things happen'...

Maybe it is...

All I know, is that if it is Karma, then God must not be beyond the laws of Karma and the laws of Karma also apply to God, or else bad things wouldn't keep on happening to good people...

Maybe I should read that book again...

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

...what you are spending on internet is a bit too much. It could be used for other purposes. Be responsible, be practical. My view.

Both in money and in time, my friend.

Maybe the whole 'message' is to give up the internet. I have also thought about that.

 

[Aupmanyav]

It happens. I am a smoker. At one time, I did not have money even to buy a single cigarette.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

Also, if any 'good things' ever happen to me now, I would have never made this thread in the first place - please consider that.

Only 'bad things' happen and the only consolation I ever receive is 'be thankful for your suffering, after all, things could be much worse'. That doesn't wash anymore either. It's a cop-out.

There are things much worse than death, and I wish that my Karma could happen 'all at once', so I could just get on with my life.

This is just slow and painful torture - Every day I prayed 'kill me....kill me...' but that never happened either.