Intermarriage

[Clara Tea]

"Christian" mom and "muslim" dad for me, and that situation never happened because I had a secular upbringing.

Thankfully, neither of my parents were, what you'ld call, "practicing theists". My dad is somewhat more religious then my mom, but he's the kind of muslim that once in a while does ramadam as an excuse to loose some weight and then celebrates the end with a wiskey and pork chops

It is my opinion that a marriage with children between 2 "practicing" theists who are serious about their religion and clinge to different religions, is pretty much doomed from the starts - especially if it concerns "exclusive" religions in the sense that they believe that either you are part of their elite club, or you burn in hell.

As an atheist, I must say that I couldn't bear being with someone who is religious and actual serious about it. Kids especially would be VERY difficult, because I would simply not allow my kid to be brainwashed into some cult.

The whiskey and pork chops merely enforce the idea that nobody is perfect. Nor should God consider humans to be perfect. That makes God's punishments seem strange (flood the whole world because God made free choice and flawed humans?). It seems that mankind's sins are really God's sins for making us this way.

As long as kids are good people, it doesn't really matter what religion they choose.

We all have to stop judging others, and pay more attention to the log in our own eyes, rather than the tiny splinters in the eyes of the judged.

 

[SomeRandom]

Are you following the news about the non-conversion laws in India? Pretty draconian. Of course, a forced conversion is, IMHO, invalid in the first place, so if and when they happen no one should recognize them. But this law obviously goes further than outlawing forced conversions. It assumes that anyone raised Hindu would never want to convert.

Hindus don’t have the concept of conversion. You're either religious or not. Usually staying within your born religion.
Conversion has historically been used as a tool to demoralise and wipe out Dharmics. So there is long held resentment.
Of course it’s since been politicised and turned to ****

 

[PruePhillip]

I thought we were talking about intermarriage, religious tolerance and so forth. How did it suddenly become whether it's liberals or conservatives who are "correct?"

And in any case, there's no "correct" there. Political viewpoints are political viewpoints, that's all. They're not right and wrong for the most part, just different ways of pretending you can predict the future well enough to know what you should do today. And nobody can do that.

I mention politics by way of analogy, not to change the subject.
There are no proofs for Judea Christianity - only faith. Not that
you can show its claims to be fallacious.
And even where you can show 'proof' of something, that in
itself is usually not the whole truth.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

I mention politics by way of analogy, not to change the subject.
There are no proofs for Judea Christianity - only faith. Not that
you can show its claims to be fallacious.
And even where you can show 'proof' of something, that in
itself is usually not the whole truth.

But what do proofs of religious mythologies have to do with intermarriage, or with people getting along together? And by the way, without those mythologies altogether, wouldn't getting along be a heck of a lot easier?

 

[Vinayaka]

I researched the causes for divorce, and different religions was quite down on the list, after money, lack of intimacy, and other factors. On this particular list, it's most likely under 'incompatibility' . Marriage is complicated and varied, to put it mildly. I'm personally incredibly happy to be of the same faith as Boss. Our pilgrimages to India were much more fun together than if I were to have gone alone, or stayed home when she went.

11 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Survive Divorce

 

[PruePhillip]

But what do proofs of religious mythologies have to do with intermarriage, or with people getting along together? And by the way, without those mythologies altogether, wouldn't getting along be a heck of a lot easier?

Said this here before. In 1900 Europeans looked forward to a whole new world of
peace and progress. Religion was waning, monarchy was a spent force. No more
religious wars and no more tyranny.
Not even Queen Victoria, who's grandchildren sat on the thrones of Germany and
Russia, would have grasped the horrors of the 20th Century. About a quarter of a
billion people died in secular conflict, genocide, gulags, re-education centers and
the like.
Be careful what you wish for.

 

[sun rise]

Are you speaking of racially mixed? My new guy friend is African American and I am white. We are only dating as friends. But he warned me, in the beginning, there might be some racial bigots who would give me trouble for it.

He is also Christian and I am not. I have noticed more Christian men willing to date non-Christians. I have heard racist remarks my sister has said to me but she does not seem to have a problem with Darril. But he is Christian she wants me to go to church so I think being happy about him being Christian overran her temptation to being racist.

Since this thread is in a religion area, no, not racially mixed but religiously mixed if you count non-observant Christians marrying someone with a Jewish background believing in Meher Baba as religiously mixed

 

[Vinayaka]

When exactly is it an interfaith marriage? Does an agnostic marrying a non-practising liberal Christian count?

 

[MikeF]

But what do proofs of religious mythologies have to do with intermarriage, or with people getting along together? And by the way, without those mythologies altogether, wouldn't getting along be a heck of a lot easier?

Here I would say no. I believe that the force behind why we do not get along is instinctual. We are instinctualy driven to identify those who are in our group and those who are other. In a more primitive time our group was family, clan, tribe. Things were much simpler. In today's culture, there are all kinds of things that can trigger this instinct of who is same and who is other, and it goes beyond religion.

The only way to achieve world peace and bring all human beings together is with an actual alien threat from outer space.

 

[Clara Tea]

The real problem here is that intermarriage eventually destroys a faith. Making something
'more diverse' is well put - as if 'diverse' is a good thing. Should native Americans be 'more
diverse' by marrying out? Would Islam survive if it became 'more diverse'?
Persecution kept Jewry together in its darkest days. Otherwise it would have become like
the biblical Amorites, Amelakites, Phillistines, Canaanites, Moabites, Edomites etc..

Persecution forced many Jews to convert to Christianity (called Conversos in Europe). Persecution caused many Jews to go into hiding. I hardly think that adversity kept them together.

 

[Clara Tea]

The only way to achieve world peace and bring all human beings together is with an actual alien threat from outer space.

Aliens say "take me to your leader." When you do, they say "quit kidding, take me to your real leader." In their society, the most intelligent are chosen. Their flying saucer scientists get to fly their own creations. So, when they encounter our first astronauts (Laka the Russian dog, or space chimps), they insist that they tell them how they constructed their rockets...insulted by the silence, and miffed at the translation of barking.

Jacques Cousteau suggested that world peace could be achieved if all world leaders exchanged kids. No one would want to bomb their own kids.

God treats everyone as his kids. Maybe if we follow God's example and treat all humans as part of our families, we might achieve some of God's mission of peace?

 

[PruePhillip]

Persecution forced many Jews to convert to Christianity (called Conversos in Europe). Persecution caused many Jews to go into hiding. I hardly think that adversity kept them together.

For sure, no argument there. But it's understood that integration of Jews into Europe would have
eventually saw their extinction as an ethnic group. Kind of like the Irish in America. Some nations
such as Russia (with their Pale of Settlement) kept Jews isolated, or they brutalized them with
pogroms and harsh military service. This kept Jews feeling they were Jews, and not Russians.

 

[Riders]

Well, here we go. My guy friend came by last night kissed me on the lips hugged me. That's all we do but we go at it. Anyway, he says now he wants me to start thinking about whether or not I want a relationship with him. He wants us to get to know each other till late summer, September, or October, and then maybe start a relationship/

I have already told him I would need to lose weight before we do that. If I can not shape up and lose weight this won't work. grant it I don't have to be thin, just a smaller size where I can walk a lot better and he wants sex. So I will have to be a smaller size so I can have sex comfortably.

But anyway he belongs to a Bible church he says which is like nondenominational.

To me, it is more like a conservative church but he does not go regularly because he is a taxi driver. He works a lot. But since the election in some ways, he seems very liberal but I think in other ways he is conservative. I told him I go to Zem meditation groups and that I don't believe in Jesus but that as a person who goes to Alcoholics Anonymous and OA I believe in one God the same way my Mom did when she started going to AA.

He is ok with that. I told him about my Mom going to AA and that I have been since she died even though I am not an alcoholic.I told him about my porn addiction issues and sexual promiscuity issues that I did the 12 Steps on.

He does not drink do drugs or smoke and neither do I. But he has a worldliness about him because having driven taxis his whole life he has seen a lot. He told me he no longer drives out to drug houses or those areas, in the past, he used to drive drug dealers and addicts to drug houses so he has seen a lot, this probably explains his laid back attitude with me and my recovery.


However, I brought up the religious topic and I told him I do Zen meditation group on the internet and tobecontinued

 

[Riders]

He said he is ok with me going to Zen as long as I am not worshipping other Gods or practicing a different religion. I told him many Christians come to learn the Zen technique and leave the religion part out of it and he said he is fine with that.

But at first, I was good with it, But I can see my UU church days may be over with. On the other hand, many Christians have issues with zen Buddha groups and maybe I should consider myself lucky that he is open-minded about meditation groups.


I do not know, If I can not lose some of this weight it is not gonna happen anyway. I will see how I feel about it in a few months.

 

[Jake1001]

Well, here we go. My guy friend came by last night kissed me on the lips hugged me. That's all we do but we go at it. Anyway, he says now he wants me to start thinking about whether or not I want a relationship with him. He wants us to get to know each other till late summer, September, or October, and then maybe start a relationship/

I have already told him I would need to lose weight before we do that. If I can not shape up and lose weight this won't work. grant it I don't have to be thin, just a smaller size where I can walk a lot better and he wants sex. So I will have to be a smaller size so I can have sex comfortably.

But anyway he belongs to a Bible church he says which is like nondenominational.

To me, it is more like a conservative church but he does not go regularly because he is a taxi driver. He works a lot. But since the election in some ways, he seems very liberal but I think in other ways he is conservative. I told him I go to Zem meditation groups and that I don't believe in Jesus but that as a person who goes to Alcoholics Anonymous and OA I believe in one God the same way my Mom did when she started going to AA.

He is ok with that. I told him about my Mom going to AA and that I have been since she died even though I am not an alcoholic.I told him about my porn addiction issues and sexual promiscuity issues that I did the 12 Steps on.

He does not drink do drugs or smoke and neither do I. But he has a worldliness about him because having driven taxis his whole life he has seen a lot. He told me he no longer drives out to drug houses or those areas, in the past, he used to drive drug dealers and addicts to drug houses so he has seen a lot, this probably explains his laid back attitude with me and my recovery.


However, I brought up the religious topic and I told him I do Zen meditation group on the internet and tobecontinued

This is the best post in the thread. Well written and authentic. Clear and explicit. Interesting and fun !

 

[Jake1001]

He said he is ok with me going to Zen as long as I am not worshipping other Gods or practicing a different religion. I told him many Christians come to learn the Zen technique and leave the religion part out of it and he said he is fine with that.

But at first, I was good with it, But I can see my UU church days may be over with. On the other hand, many Christians have issues with zen Buddha groups and maybe I should consider myself lucky that he is open-minded about meditation groups.


I do not know, If I can not lose some of this weight it is not gonna happen anyway. I will see how I feel about it in a few months.

How many lbs are we talking?

 

[GardenLady]

I supposed traditional Catholics would say I am "intermarried." Raised Catholic, I am married to an ELCA Lutheran. I consider that "small c catholic" and personally don't see a conflict. We belong to an ELCA congregation. It would be a PITA for the Mister to convert and was very easy for me to be accepted in the ELCA. Same creed, same lectionary, very similar liturgy, belief in the Real Presence in communion. Not intermarriage to me. But IME traditional Catholics are more territorial and would consider that intermarriage.

 

[metis]

I supposed traditional Catholics would say I am "intermarried." Raised Catholic, I am married to an ELCA Lutheran. I consider that "small c catholic" and personally don't see a conflict. We belong to an ELCA congregation. It would be a PITA for the Mister to convert and was very easy for me to be accepted in the ELCA. Same creed, same lectionary, very similar liturgy, belief in the Real Presence in communion. Not intermarriage to me. But IME traditional Catholics are more territorial and would consider that intermarriage.

I was raised in a very conservative LCA denomination and family [later merged with the ALC to form the ELCA] but married my Catholic wife 53 years ago, and my parents had a fit-- until they got to know her.

 

[Riders]

How many lbs are we talking?

I have gained weight so Im at 310.I need to get down to 240 before I am comfortable with having sex.

 

[GardenLady]

I have gained weight so I'm at 310.I need to get down to 240 before I am comfortable with having sex.

Sidebar not pertinent to the thread... I just lost 40 pounds on Noom from July 11 to January 15. It costs money; I think I paid 139 USD for 6 months. The program combines cognitive-behavioral lessons with food tracking and daily weigh-in. Now I'm moving to Atkins, which is free, to track macros (carbs, protein, fat) and calories; I have 25 to go.