Part 2, The Evil Grows:
So, there is no real "fight" inside of me, I'm not feeling a sense of a "fight" really, as I don't believe there is anything to "fight" that I can really "fight" and win against, there is just nothing I can do about it. The whole thing is simple, year after year people have been seeming to get meaning, things have seemed to get worse, so I avoid these things largely, and when I see them, or I encounter them, I feel bad about them, I don't like them, they bother me, like I'd be bothered by someone crushing a bug for example. I don't like stuff that is sad or disturbing like that, that it means the bug was injured or deprived of life by someone's violence or even an accident, it is just annoying and disturbing, it accumulates, it makes for irritation, I want good things, and I can't be alright about stuff that disturbs me, like, the bug was a good person, its tragic that it was injured just like that or unable to function well or die, it was innocent, I hate that the innocent should be harmed or suffer. So the solution is basically tuning out to a lot of sources of bad news and decrease chances of hearing, seeing, or experiencing painful, or negative things, or going through pain.
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I loved Covid-19 for example. Even through making possible hypothetical "douches" lose their lives and drop like flies, dead and dead and dead, no longer do we have to see them, hear them, feed them, pay for them, they are gone, no longer do they hurt people, hurt me, hurt women, hurt animals, hurt children, hurt men, cause traffic problems, harass people, cause rage, cause anxiety, cause marital problems, cause havoc, they are DEAD DEAD DEAD! It has been a huge celebration, every time I hear THOUSANDS dead, MILLIONS dead, it fills me with so much happiness.
I used to watch "suicide tribute" videos. I'm against suicide, I would never do it, I watched those tributes on youtube because they made me so happy, that young people couldn't continue to cause misery and problems, they were dead and gone! No more drama, no more violence, no more fighting, they were gone, silenced, there was peace!
That is why my preferred identities for God tend to be terms like El Shaddai, Apollo or Apollyon, Shiva or MahaKala, Mot, Ares, Bal and Balgyr, Subhan as Allah. The Destroyer, The Annihilator, Bane.
That doesn't mean I'm not happy. I spend all day laughing, but what I don't like hearing is that so and so or such and such have done harm and evil and are allowed to continue to exist to do harm and evil. I credit ALL things to be from Allah "All is from Allah" and so all this Filth I credit to Allah as well (and so does the Qur'an credit all of it to Allah really, all Evil, all Good, Everything whatsoever and who does it and when, inside people or around people), and so I am not pleased with Allah for these things or making them so, but Allah is an enemy that can not be defeated or fought against, after all the false things are destroyed and thrown aside, Allah is the wall that can't be brought down, and so I surrender at Allah (and Allah knows I would love for Allah's destruction, were Allah anything less than Allah, like a man-being for example), but I don't celebrate the evilness and filth in the world, I celebrate its utter destruction, I celebrate when Allah finally does something nice for people by making a villains heart stop and they drop dead, one way or another.
I love the thought that the villains should get aneurisms, that they should lose their legs and arms, but better than anything, that they should die, not be a lifelong problem for some spider-monkey feeding them through a tube or whatever, that suffering should end with the deaths of all these scumbags.
Apollo, whose sign is RED, like inflammation, Blood, the Infector, who put Trump in power to maximize the deaths, who put Pharaoh in power to show Marvelous Signs, that they Know who is the Lord, The Master, the Unstoppable Killer, We pray that only the evil are killed, that the good are spared, as much as possible, but are surrendered to the decision, God is not Dead, God is DEATH.
Ah. That makes me feel better, see? The idea that more disgusting humans are born every day, to cause more misery to all those around them, irritates me quite a bit, so when people get abortions, when they destroy their own wombs, when there is no more prospect that they can re-produce more potential problems, or re-create their disturbed minds, genetically or psychologically, this is a matter of pleasure too. That their entire line is wiped out, and better too if they are wiped out also.
My dream is Paradise, and what is Paradise, but every evildoer put away in torment forever? A world eternally free from their participation and involvement, from their pollution, a place that is clean.
That is what fills me with love and joy and hope, something worth striving for, for attaining at all costs, eternity in peace, in a beautiful place, where people typing in the dark trying to scam old people are crippled and burning in hellfire and never to be seen or heard from, no more SPAM EMAILS! God has finally done good, finally brought justice, finally made things right, finally, finally!
So, people should know this, that if they do what I think is wrong and evil, even as I smile and I make them laugh, I wish nothing good for them really, I wish for their immediate departure, and if they suddenly drop dead, its hard not to smile, that so much evil is gone with them just dying, that so many painful stories, so much evil potential is wiped away, all those chains of events where they cause problems are gone! Its a huge celebration. That is why the obituaries are also very fun, particularly when the people are young in the obituaries, since they haven't lived a full long life of causing problems to everyone constantly, which seems to commonly be the case.
So I enjoy fatal car accidents as well, lethal diseases, freak accidents. I don't like when good people die of course, but how many of those are there really anyway?
So yeah, possession seems to be the issue here.
Really though, its that people have become meaner and meaner online and in the world, I see them yelling and fighting with each other right outside, doing drugs, smashing bottles, so why shouldn't I enjoy when they overdose and there is no more ruckus from the unreasonable violent harmful crazies?
When people say they want to kill themselves, I make strong cases why they should not and should never do that. When they actually go ahead and do it, I think "ah, what a relief, good riddance". Their only value to me was if they were somehow stimulating and pleasurable for me, but look at the world population? They are a dime a dozen aren't they? What is one for another? Some pig will give birth to another pig, and there we have the story all over again, without shortage apparently.
I used to watch "suicide tribute" videos. I'm against suicide, I would never do it, I watched those tributes on youtube because they made me so happy, that young people couldn't continue to cause misery and problems, they were dead and gone! No more drama, no more violence, no more fighting, they were gone, silenced, there was peace!
That is why my preferred identities for God tend to be terms like El Shaddai, Apollo or Apollyon, Shiva or MahaKala, Mot, Ares, Bal and Balgyr, Subhan as Allah. The Destroyer, The Annihilator, Bane.
That doesn't mean I'm not happy. I spend all day laughing, but what I don't like hearing is that so and so or such and such have done harm and evil and are allowed to continue to exist to do harm and evil. I credit ALL things to be from Allah "All is from Allah" and so all this Filth I credit to Allah as well (and so does the Qur'an credit all of it to Allah really, all Evil, all Good, Everything whatsoever and who does it and when, inside people or around people), and so I am not pleased with Allah for these things or making them so, but Allah is an enemy that can not be defeated or fought against, after all the false things are destroyed and thrown aside, Allah is the wall that can't be brought down, and so I surrender at Allah (and Allah knows I would love for Allah's destruction, were Allah anything less than Allah, like a man-being for example), but I don't celebrate the evilness and filth in the world, I celebrate its utter destruction, I celebrate when Allah finally does something nice for people by making a villains heart stop and they drop dead, one way or another.
I love the thought that the villains should get aneurisms, that they should lose their legs and arms, but better than anything, that they should die, not be a lifelong problem for some spider-monkey feeding them through a tube or whatever, that suffering should end with the deaths of all these scumbags.
Apollo, whose sign is RED, like inflammation, Blood, the Infector, who put Trump in power to maximize the deaths, who put Pharaoh in power to show Marvelous Signs, that they Know who is the Lord, The Master, the Unstoppable Killer, We pray that only the evil are killed, that the good are spared, as much as possible, but are surrendered to the decision, God is not Dead, God is DEATH.
Ah. That makes me feel better, see? The idea that more disgusting humans are born every day, to cause more misery to all those around them, irritates me quite a bit, so when people get abortions, when they destroy their own wombs, when there is no more prospect that they can re-produce more potential problems, or re-create their disturbed minds, genetically or psychologically, this is a matter of pleasure too. That their entire line is wiped out, and better too if they are wiped out also.
My dream is Paradise, and what is Paradise, but every evildoer put away in torment forever? A world eternally free from their participation and involvement, from their pollution, a place that is clean.
That is what fills me with love and joy and hope, something worth striving for, for attaining at all costs, eternity in peace, in a beautiful place, where people typing in the dark trying to scam old people are crippled and burning in hellfire and never to be seen or heard from, no more SPAM EMAILS! God has finally done good, finally brought justice, finally made things right, finally, finally!
So, people should know this, that if they do what I think is wrong and evil, even as I smile and I make them laugh, I wish nothing good for them really, I wish for their immediate departure, and if they suddenly drop dead, its hard not to smile, that so much evil is gone with them just dying, that so many painful stories, so much evil potential is wiped away, all those chains of events where they cause problems are gone! Its a huge celebration. That is why the obituaries are also very fun, particularly when the people are young in the obituaries, since they haven't lived a full long life of causing problems to everyone constantly, which seems to commonly be the case.
So I enjoy fatal car accidents as well, lethal diseases, freak accidents. I don't like when good people die of course, but how many of those are there really anyway?
So yeah, possession seems to be the issue here.
Really though, its that people have become meaner and meaner online and in the world, I see them yelling and fighting with each other right outside, doing drugs, smashing bottles, so why shouldn't I enjoy when they overdose and there is no more ruckus from the unreasonable violent harmful crazies?
When people say they want to kill themselves, I make strong cases why they should not and should never do that. When they actually go ahead and do it, I think "ah, what a relief, good riddance". Their only value to me was if they were somehow stimulating and pleasurable for me, but look at the world population? They are a dime a dozen aren't they? What is one for another? Some pig will give birth to another pig, and there we have the story all over again, without shortage apparently.
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